About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

October 12, 2005
A Story, Bit-by-Bit
Superego: Part 43 - The Calm Before the Storm
Posted by Frank J. at 04:32 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (18)

BEGINNING OF STORY

PREVIOUS (PART 42)

* * * *

"I think I have an anger problem, Dip."

"Perhaps because you don't have much experience dealing with it, Rico."

I trekked through the busy streets towards the convention center. If everyone had their orders right, no one would try and start the festivities before I got there. Still, I kept my eyes peeled in case one fool wanted the glory of killing me.

"How are you?" Dip asked.

"A little battered, but I'll be fine." I laughed. "I think she was trying to save me, but her knocking my head around could end up being the death of me if it affects my combat. Now, that's irony."

"I have a few inquiries."

"Since this may be the last time we talk, I will answer one question for you conclusively, Dip. So chose carefully."

I suspected what that question would be, but I wasn't quite right.

"Do you think you're evil, Rico?"

"No," I answered immediately. I then thought on it for a moment. "But I'm probably wrong."

"I don't think you're evil."

"You don't think at all, Dip; you're a computer program."

"It was just an expression."

"You ready on your end?"

"I am, Rico. Are you ready?"

"More than ready." In fact, I was more excited than I ever remembered. I guess it was bloodlust. I'd have to keep my emotions neutral, though, if I wanted to survive this.

Do I want to survive?

Doubt. I didn't usually have that, but now I was questioning myself. It was like having my own Diane living inside my head. I guess that's what a conscience is. Well, I didn't have time for it, so I kept focusing on the plan and trudged on towards my destination.

"Rico, Diane did give me a way to try and clear the civilians before the violence takes place. Would you like me to implement it when the time comes?"

"Will it interfere with my plans any?"

"Doubtful. There isn't much to it."

"Then do it. Let's keep this fight between us bad people."

The convention center was packed with sentients waiting for the great Galactic Senator to speak about the uniting of the world and species to a common cause. I didn't know how many there were hitmen just waiting for the signal, but it would become quite obvious in a few minutes.

I headed to a back room where Gredler was waiting. He was surrounded by armed guards, Randatti thugs in Galactic Alliance garb from the look of their weapons.

"You're late."

"I don't remember giving a time I would show up." I casually looked to the door in the read of the room which was Gredler's escape path. That might be important later. I then took a quiet inventory of the rest of the room. Eight thugs ready for battle and one Senator. "I'd like to get in a few shots myself if that's okay. Otherwise, I'll take my money and be off."

"We can handle this ourselves," the Senator answered. I could have asked why he asked for me to be here then, but I knew the answer was to kill me. It was the smart thing to do.

"Implementing crowd control," Dip said in my ear, "I'll indicate when the main phase is about to start."

"DO NOT PANIC!" screamed the loudspeakers, "THERE IS A BOMB IN THE BUILDING! PLEASE EVACUATE IN AN ORDERLY MANNER!"

Despite the warnings, there were screams of panic. I could see on a monitor that most were fleeing the main auditorium.

But some stayed.

"What's happening?" the Senator demanded.

"I'm clearing out the civilians," I answered.

"That's losing us our cover!"

I laughed. "It will still be plenty crowded here." I looked to the monitors and saw there were a lot who stayed... including a number of females (guess who they were with). "The Corloni and the Randatti are waiting for your speech; are you going to give it?"

"I'm getting out of here!" the Senator announced.

"It's time." Dip announced to me.

I locked the doors behind me. "Not so fast, Gredler. You have your plans, but I have mine."

"And what does that mean?" Gredler looked scared, and the thugs looked ready to kill me.

"I've never failed to finish a job I've been hired for."

I drew my two blasters and fired on Gredler's guards, standing my ground the whole time. Only one got off an unaimed shot. It may have been my fastest shooting ever.

Gredler looked stunned... and it was stunning. "I can pay you whatever..."

"Not this time."

One trigger pull, and one Galactic Senator's head was removed. I took Niko out of my pocket, and the little spider robot went to confirm the kill.

"Dip, are you getting the information?"

"Have it."

"Broadcast on all frequencies and get my next statement on the loudspeakers."

I could hear a commotion outside, and the door rattled as people tried to open it.

I cleared my throat.

"This is Rico. Interested members of the Corloni crime syndicate, you should now all have confirmation that Senator Gredler is dead. Though the day of the speech was changed, I have killed him on that day in what is now a very public manner. As far as I am concerned, I have fulfilled my end. Instead of the usual monetary payment, I'm now going to extract a payment of my own.

"Interested members of the Randatti crime syndicate, I'm going to kill you all, too. Nothing personal, it just seems like it will be fun.

"Once again, this is Rico. If you survive today, best you remember that name."

Those outside were now firing on the door. I could see in the monitor that everyone in the auditorium had drawn guns and were trying to see who around were allies and who were enemies.

I closed my eyes and held my guns at my side feeling their lovely weight and the caress of their soft grips molded to my hands. I felt complete. To me, this was spiritual. My nirvana was the chaos that awaited.

There was a tremendous crash, almost like a moon had collided into the building. The place shook so much, I about lost my balance. The monitor was still working, and I could see that a giant transport had landed right in the middle of the auditorium, crashing through the ceiling. Islamic terrorists began spilling out of it shouting and firing, surprised to find that everyone left standing was armed and firing back. Dip had done it; he had decoded the information I gave him and found the terrorist plans... and then he "helped" them pull it off by passing them the information on the convention center Gredler gave me.

There was now a huge cacophony of gunfire and shouting outside, and I was already forgotten about. I couldn't let that stand; this was my game, after all.

I blew open the doors with charged shots from my blasters.

It was time for everyone to die.

NEXT

Rating: 2.6/5 (14 votes cast)

Superego
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933