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October 13, 2005
Putting the Supreme Court Back into Perspective
Posted by Frank J. at 11:38 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (20)

Okay, I ain't thrilled by the Harriet Miers pick for the Supreme Court, but I have to disagree with a lot of the conservative critics out there. They talk about her not having distinguished qualifications, and that just means they are falling into the trap of making the job of a Supreme Court seem more complex than it is.

So what is the job of a Supreme Court Justice? It's to interpret the Constitution. And what is the Constitution?

A FOUR PAGE DOCUMENT!

Think about it: the job of a Supreme Court Justice - his only job for his entire life - is to understand four pages of text. Why do you even need a legal degree for this? I'm not even sure you need a high school diploma. The two times I took the SATs, I got a 770 out of 800 on the verbal. One of those times, I got every single reading comprehension question right. I think that more than qualifies me to be an excellent Supreme Court Justice. In fact, I might be too qualified.

Really, if you look at it, this job is just barely too difficult to have a Chimp do it. It ranks slightly higher in complexity than the guy who rips your ticket in two when you enter the cinema complex and tells you what theater to go to.

Four pages, people. And it's your only job to understand them. For most people, that would take less than an hour, but, as a Supreme Court Justice, you have your entire life.

Okay, it's slightly more complex than that as there are like twenty-seven Amendments (none of them very long) and some of the S's in the document look like F's, but this ain't brain surgery people. It's not even taking someone's blood pressure.

But, people have to act like it's so much more complicated than that. There's a big academic debate out there whether the Constitution gives an individual or collective right to bear arms, but the average citizen is completely unaware of that debate. Most know there is an individual right to bear arms because THAT'S WHAT THE DOCUMENT SAYS. Really, a level-headed twelve-year-old could do a better job than some of the academic pinheads now serving. And the President could appoint a twelve year-old (if you don't believe me, read the Constitution - it's only four pages!).

And, no, I don't want the job. I spent four years in college learning digital circuitry, and thus I find the simplistic job of a Supreme Court Justice beneath me. If you want a new pick, I'd say check the fry cooks at the local McDonalds. Just don't take one from the McDonalds next to my house, because it's already understaffed. Actually, if Souter quit his current job and worked there, he'd being doing a lot more good for his country.

Rating: 1.6/5 (8 votes cast)

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