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October 25, 2005
A special non Cannibal message.
I’d like to take a moment to complain about an insensitivity that is taking place in our society every waking moment. If you’re like me, then you more than likely have very strong Anti-Cannibalistic beliefs. It’s an integral part of my Christian beliefs. The Bible tells us that Moses came down with the Ten Commandments and shared with his people - Thou Shall not Eat Thy Neighbor. This was a good thing because at the bottom of Mt. Sinai natives gathered to have Moses On a Stick. These are our beliefs. Yet everyday I see stuff that offends me and hurts me more than I can say. Barbie Dolls. For those of you who live in caves, and I don’t mean to offend you if your religion demands that you do so, Barbie dolls are little dolls that are played with the world over. Sure, they have different variations such as Ken: A Barbie doll with a penis. Kelly. A Barbie Doll but smaller. Bratz Dolls. Like Barbie – but with bad makeup and herpes blisters. Is there no caring for my religious beliefs? ’m sorry, but I DON'T EAT HUMANS!! Yet each day, I’m subject to seeing dolls and doll like figures everywhere I look and does ANYBODY CARE!! No of course not. That’s why I’m starting a new society. Ideological Society to Lessen Antagonizing Me, or as I call it – ISLAM. Speaking of which, in England, we see that British Banks are no longer giving away piggy banks lest the idea of pigs with money offend the Muslim sensibility. This is a big victory for Muslims. Now they can work on obliterating the other pigs with money – Americans. However, I feel that if my anti Cannibal beliefs are not respected – then it is truly a sad day for all of us. Please support us as we, the non-cannibalistic (unless its at the SuperDome) Americans of America, struggle to right this wrong. Thank You. RWD
13 Responses To "A special non Cannibal message."
The last I heard Ken was a lot more like a Barbie with no breasts than a Barbie with anything additional. #1 - Posted by: nylecoj on October 25, 2005 07:39 PMSorry RWD, but your attitude is really quite piggish! Just because you don't eat humans doesn't mean you should hog all the attention in the debate. Let a few others feed at that trough, will you? I mean it's not as if anyone is pushing human-being-banks or something offensive like that, is it? Get your porcine snout out of my fine young cannibalistic business! #2 - Posted by: Beerme on October 25, 2005 08:08 PMSo does that mean that as an American, I shouldn't eat pork? Anyway, humans are not meant to be eaten. Neither are puppies. On the other hand, Cows, Chickens, and the Porcupine Caribou in ANWR that are keeping us from drilling for oil in Alaska are indeed meant to be eaten. #3 - Posted by: Justin on October 25, 2005 08:23 PMI'm not supposed to eat pork? My children are going to be SO upset when I tell them we can't eat Wilbur, our pet pig we had slaughtered, and packaged rather nicely, anymore. Wilbur tastes darn good! #4 - Posted by: Elvenbane on October 25, 2005 09:58 PMMy girls squeal with delight when they get a new Barbie. An they usually get along well unless one of them tries to hog it. #5 - Posted by: spacemonkey on October 25, 2005 10:30 PMYou guys are pigs. All of you. Hmmm. Barbie. As in Barbeque. No. No. must resist temptation to eat humans. #6 - Posted by: RightWingDuck on October 25, 2005 10:32 PMtoy banks should be in the shape of muslim teenagers wearing explosive belts so as not to offend our would-be murderers. #7 - Posted by: on October 26, 2005 04:12 AMWell, crap. Now what am I gonna buy the neices for Christmas, er non-denominational holiday? #8 - Posted by: Ricky on October 26, 2005 07:38 AMAnnouncing new Baldo's Halloween Packet™! Now, decorate your Bald like a pumpkin as you shine it up. With my wax. It leaves a blinding brilliance. My sister and I both had Barbies, and I personally had the heads fall off of at least two Kens (seriously!). The Kens I had must have been eunuchs. I don't remember any such..."part"...that Ducky made reference to. #10 - Posted by: SkyeChild on October 26, 2005 09:07 AMYou cowards, Martyrdom - I hope we kill way more asshats just like you (sorry Jesus!). However, not being a GREAT Christian, leads me to still wish for your demise, and the demise of others like you. BTW, you don't want to "C me". I have bad news for you. Remember that little ritual us Christians do? "This is my body, given for you. This is my blood, shed for you?" What do you do with it? Ritual cannibals of the world, unite! #13 - Posted by: Passerby on October 26, 2005 02:00 PMPost a comment
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