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November 02, 2005
Happy Birthday United Nations!
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) On October 24th the UN turned 60. I wanted to celebrate this on time, but the resolution to do so was bottled up in an IMAO Security Council Subcommittee for the last week or so. Now that THAT bureaucratic knot is unfurled, my first suggestion for a proper celebration of the UN's many accomplishments over the last 60 years consists of changing the organization's name to reflect those accomplishments. Thus, hereafter, it shall be known as the Mostly Useless United Nations, or "MUUN" for short. The other half of the celebration involves helping the MUUN accomplish it's stated goal of bringing about world peace. For 60 years, the diplomats have bickered and nattered, passing one toothless resolution after another, fruitlessly attempting to implement their silly pipe-dream of "peace through superior paper work". A dismal failure. Because when it comes to achieving true and lasting world peace, we all know there's only one realistic plan... (see extended entry): Of course, moving the building to the moon first would improve the chances of this actually working. 11 Responses To "Happy Birthday United Nations!"
HAHHAHAHA First #1 - Posted by: Robby on November 2, 2005 05:39 PMI don't see anything. #2 - Posted by: Ikkonoishi on November 2, 2005 05:46 PMdoes that mean they can finally retire from pestering america? Ikkonoishi - my image hosting server is being a little PMS'y today. Keep refreshing... #4 - Posted by: Harvey on November 2, 2005 05:59 PMAfter they change the name, can we nuke the MUUN? #6 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on November 2, 2005 07:02 PMI like the plan, but definately relocate the HQ first. I'd hate to see nuclear fallout in New York. Do you think we could get a union to do the relocation? #7 - Posted by: JermCool on November 2, 2005 07:03 PMVery OT, but for those who care, Warspite, over at the Rott, has died. Dang!! You stole my thunder, Harvey! #9 - Posted by: crusher on November 3, 2005 09:40 AMI wanted to celebrate this on time, but ... Me too :) You see, U.N. Day is seared, seared in my memory. At the school I attended growing up - an American school where some of the students' parents were U.N. employees - they'd spend the month of October on U.N.-directed classroom projects, then gather up all the little kids & take them to the auditorium on "U.N. Day" for a half-day of good old-fashioned multicultural indoctrination. The REAL sweetener: at the end of this crescendo, we got a day off from school. Never mind that this day (the 26th) was actually the host nation's national holiday: naturally it got lumped in with the U.N. Day festivities. (Thank goodness we had some nationals who bristled at this brazen usurpation.) Yes, this was in the late 70's and early 80's. I've since heard they no longer celebrate U.N. Day at the school because now they have the whole WEEK off - a kind of ecumenical "Fall Holiday" that, like our newfangled "Winter Breaks", can be used to celebrate your holidays of choice - Ramadan, U.N. Day, Halloween, All Saints' Day, or even your national holiday. But I'm sure there are a few who still get misty-eyed at the old-school display of "world unity" at that assembly - the world's "future generation" singing Kumba-yah in "world harmony..." Heh. Getting nauseous just reading that :-) Reminds me of the way they used to try to jam the metric system down my throat as a kid... "soon EVERYTHING will be metric!" Pffft! Outside of liter bottles of Coke, it ain't happenin'. #11 - Posted by: Harvey on November 4, 2005 10:32 AMPost a comment
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