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November 02, 2005
Happy Birthday United Nations!
Posted by Harvey at 04:57 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (11)

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

On October 24th the UN turned 60.

I wanted to celebrate this on time, but the resolution to do so was bottled up in an IMAO Security Council Subcommittee for the last week or so.

Now that THAT bureaucratic knot is unfurled, my first suggestion for a proper celebration of the UN's many accomplishments over the last 60 years consists of changing the organization's name to reflect those accomplishments.

Thus, hereafter, it shall be known as the Mostly Useless United Nations, or "MUUN" for short.

The other half of the celebration involves helping the MUUN accomplish it's stated goal of bringing about world peace.

For 60 years, the diplomats have bickered and nattered, passing one toothless resolution after another, fruitlessly attempting to implement their silly pipe-dream of "peace through superior paper work".

A dismal failure.

Because when it comes to achieving true and lasting world peace, we all know there's only one realistic plan... (see extended entry):

(click to enlarge)

Of course, moving the building to the moon first would improve the chances of this actually working.

11 Responses To "Happy Birthday United Nations!"

HAHHAHAHA

First

#1 - Posted by: Robby on November 2, 2005 05:39 PM

I don't see anything.

#2 - Posted by: Ikkonoishi on November 2, 2005 05:46 PM

does that mean they can finally retire from pestering america?

#3 - Posted by: The Great Rindo on November 2, 2005 05:51 PM

Ikkonoishi - my image hosting server is being a little PMS'y today. Keep refreshing...

#4 - Posted by: Harvey on November 2, 2005 05:59 PM

ROTFLMAO!!

#5 - Posted by: RightWingConspirator on November 2, 2005 06:36 PM

After they change the name, can we nuke the MUUN?

#6 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on November 2, 2005 07:02 PM

I like the plan, but definately relocate the HQ first. I'd hate to see nuclear fallout in New York.

Do you think we could get a union to do the relocation?

#7 - Posted by: JermCool on November 2, 2005 07:03 PM

Very OT, but for those who care, Warspite, over at the Rott, has died.
This man was one of the most erudite people I ever read. Now I discover he's been blind for years, his grandson has been helping him post.
Go here.
If you've never seen his posts, well, you missed a lot.
This guy should have been President.

#8 - Posted by: Horrabin on November 2, 2005 07:35 PM

Dang!! You stole my thunder, Harvey!

#9 - Posted by: crusher on November 3, 2005 09:40 AM

I wanted to celebrate this on time, but ...

Me too :) You see, U.N. Day is seared, seared in my memory. At the school I attended growing up - an American school where some of the students' parents were U.N. employees - they'd spend the month of October on U.N.-directed classroom projects, then gather up all the little kids & take them to the auditorium on "U.N. Day" for a half-day of good old-fashioned multicultural indoctrination.

The fun included: making world flags w/construction paper in the classroom, waving them on cue at the assembly, learning different "world gov't-approved" songs in music class during the month of October, singing them on cue, listening to some U.N. officials (typically parents of some student) prattle on about how great the U.N. was, and how important we all were (2nd graders?), showing U.N.-funded films (like UNWRRA's Gaza refugee camp flicks), etc. Teachers were exhorted to get into the spirit too to inspire their classroom activities leading up to "U.N. Day". (Israeli embassy kids were polite throughout and seemed to tolerate it as best they could.)

The REAL sweetener: at the end of this crescendo, we got a day off from school. Never mind that this day (the 26th) was actually the host nation's national holiday: naturally it got lumped in with the U.N. Day festivities. (Thank goodness we had some nationals who bristled at this brazen usurpation.)

Yes, this was in the late 70's and early 80's.

I've since heard they no longer celebrate U.N. Day at the school because now they have the whole WEEK off - a kind of ecumenical "Fall Holiday" that, like our newfangled "Winter Breaks", can be used to celebrate your holidays of choice - Ramadan, U.N. Day, Halloween, All Saints' Day, or even your national holiday. But I'm sure there are a few who still get misty-eyed at the old-school display of "world unity" at that assembly - the world's "future generation" singing Kumba-yah in "world harmony..."

#10 - Posted by: U.N. Hell on November 4, 2005 04:09 AM

Heh. Getting nauseous just reading that :-)

Reminds me of the way they used to try to jam the metric system down my throat as a kid... "soon EVERYTHING will be metric!"

Pffft! Outside of liter bottles of Coke, it ain't happenin'.

#11 - Posted by: Harvey on November 4, 2005 10:32 AM
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