"I can't believe when I told the Chinese to respect human rights and be more democratic like Taiwan, they called that 'foreign interference,'" Bush griped, "And then, when they took us to a soccer game and I ran out on the field, grabbed the ball, and ran away giggling, they called that 'foreign interference' too."

"Have you thought of giving back the ball?" Laura asked.

Bush clutched the soccer ball tightly. "No, it's mine! Anyway, I'm so mad, I think I'm going to stab the Chinese with a steak knife. When's dinner?"

"No stabbing!"

"We're probably going to be eating with chopsticks anyway," Bush sulked, "Those aren't as good for stabbing."

They were lead into the dining room with the evil Communist Chinese leader. Bush then got a phone call. "What?!"

"It's Harry Reid. We want you to admit that you lied to us about the reasons for going to war."

"But you all said the same things before the war!" Bush shouted, "We even have a commercial out of that."

"Well... then we lied to ourselves, but you lying as the President is much worse."

"Fine, when I get back I'll kick you in the nuts and smash your head into some drywall. How's that?"

"I wouldn't like that at all!"

"Then shut up!" Bush hung up the phone and turned to the evil Communist Chinese leader. "Explain to me your one party system again."

"I'll explain to you more than that, American president," said the evil Communist Chinese leader sinisterly. Sitting next to him was an American in a suit. "I have with me a representative from Cisco Systems. With his help, I can now further oppress my people with out Commie evil! Yes, with capitalism and Communism working together, I have even more power to spread evil!" The evil Communist Chinese leader then laughed evilly and the Cisco Systems rep joined in.

"Now you're corrupting our capitalism with your Commie evil!" Bush yelled angrily, "I won't let this stand!"

"There is nothing you can do!" the evil Communist Chinese leader shot back, "As we speak, Microsoft is writing software to better organize the execution of dissidents!"

"I've had enough of your Commie evil!" Bush declared, "I'm going to support Taiwan breaking off from you jokers!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would! My poll ratings are in the toilet, and I don't care! I do what I wan'!"

The evil Communist Chinese leader's smile disappeared. "Perhaps you will care that you've walked into my... NINJA TRAP!" He then rang a bell and ropes dropped from the ceiling. Then descended a dozen ninjas surrounding President Bush and Laura.

"Not a ninja trap!" Bush exclaimed, "That's the worst kind of trap!"

"Not again," Laura sighed as the evil Communist Chinese leader ran off laughing.

"Only one thing to do," Bush said. He then ripped off his shirt and sank into a martial arts pose. "Go commandeer a helicopter to get us out of here," Bush called out to Laura as he kung fu fought the ninjas, "I have a score to settle with the evil Communist Chinese leader."

Laura pulled a gun out of her purse. "I'm starting to hate these foreign visits."

* * * *

Bruised and battered, Bush stumbled through the storm up to the top of the mountain. "Last I remembered, it was sunny out. I then made a right at the bathroom, and I'm not sure how I got here."

"I think this stormy mountaintop will make the perfect place for our final battle," said the evil Communist Chinese leader.

"If you say so, but it's kinda hard to hear you with the wind and rain and thunder and what-not."

The evil Communist Chinese leader took up a martial arts pose. "I think we both knew your visit would end this way."

"Actually, I was hoping it would end with one of those parades with the dragons, but, whatever."

"RED DRAGON PUNCH!" the evil Communist Chinese leader shouted as he punched Bush in a flash of red flame. Bush flew backwards and landed hard on the ground.

"Ow!" he moaned.

"Ha!" said the evil Communist Chinese leader, "You are no match for my Commie kung fu! It will spread pain equally throughout your body!"

"Actually, my head hurts more than anything else."

"Well, some things are more equal than others. RED DRAGON AX KICK!" The evil Communist leader tried to crush Bush with a dropping heel kick, but he rolled out of the way.

"Maybe we should go back to that diplomacy thing," Bush suggested sheepishly.

"It is too late for that!" the evil Communist Chinese leader declared, "Now your American hegemony will end!"

"My what money?"

"I will defeat you, and then I will launch my nuclear arsenal at America! I'm pretty sure some of them have will actually be able to reach California now."

"You will not harm Cal-ee-forn-ya!" came a shout from behind the evil Communist Chinese leader. He was then lifted into the air. "I am Arnold! I will crush you! Dah!" The Governator then tossed the evil Communist Chinese leader off the mountain who screamed until he disappeared into the darkness below.

Bush looked down over the side of the mountain. "Since we can't see his body, we can only assume he is dead." He turned to Arnold. "What are you doing here?"

"Ever since all my proposition were defeated in the election, I have been wandering stormy mountain tops in my depression," Arnold sobbed.

"Don't worry," Bush told him, "You'll have time to make a comeback and crush your enemies as always. Until then, just beat up Democrats in the hallways like I do."

A helicopter flew near them, Laura holding a gun to the pilot's head. "Can we get out of here?" Laura called out, "We really need to have better foreign trips."

"Maybe next we can try and have diplomatic relations with Hawaii for a change," Bush said as he walked to the helicopter with Arnold.

The captive pilot rolled his eyes. "Idiot."

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In My World
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