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November 23, 2005
Maybe They're NOT Crazy... Oh, Wait... Yes They Are
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) So I keep hearing Democrats claiming that Bush lied about the reasons for going to war in Iraq - because he said that he knew that Saddam had WMD. But then I find out that these same Democrats - or possibly others... I can't tell, they all look alike to me - were saying that THEY knew that Saddam had WMD. Maybe they're crazy. But then again, maybe there's another explanation... Let's see... * Yes, they said those things a few years ago, but now they have amnesia because they fell down the stairs after fainting when their husband found out that they were pregnant by their ex-husband because they made love while being held prisoner on an island by an international terrorist, but only because they thought they were going to die and they turned to each other for comfort. * Don't look at me like that - it happened on Days Of Our Lives. * Latest talking points memo from the Abilene Kinko's was in a hard-to-read font - confusion ensued. * Memo may have sustained water damage from riding in a car with Ted Kennedy. * Ditto Ted Kennedy's memory. * Of course, that might have been the gin. * Or the Scotch * Possibly the Sterno * Clinton's quotes contain the word "is", so there's no way to tell what he really meant. * They only said those things in the first place because President Bush drove up to their houses with a huge truck full of cash & hookers. Haven't we ALL had a moment of weakness? * What the Democrats said doesn't count because they had their fingers crossed. * They didn't say "Saddam has WMD", they said "Saddam has WMB", as in "Saddam has Wondrous Man Booty". * Democrats are hypocritical weasels who will do or say ANYTHING to regain political power, regardless of any negative repercussions on the troops in the field. Eh. I'm sure ONE of those is the right answer. 11 Responses To "Maybe They're NOT Crazy... Oh, Wait... Yes They Are"
I think they forgot because...I WAS FIRST!!!! #1 - Posted by: sarasmom on November 23, 2005 09:37 PMThey were the "good" kind of WMDs, that would never be used against people who really matter to blue-state voters. #2 - Posted by: cirby on November 23, 2005 09:38 PM*Hey look! Over there! It's Cindy Sheehan! and the most convincing explanation: Harvey... how do you know what happened on Days of Our Lives? You don't watch it, do you? #5 - Posted by: RightWingConspirator on November 23, 2005 10:03 PMMy wife watches it, and sometimes I happen to accidentally overhear it in the other room and... YOU SHUT UP! #6 - Posted by: Harvey on November 23, 2005 10:06 PMThey only said those things in the first place because President Bush drove up to their houses with a huge truck full of cash & hookers.So, how does this theory account for Hillary's vote? #7 - Posted by: aelfheld on November 24, 2005 10:28 AM Let's just say that Hillary has an "open source sexual preference"... #8 - Posted by: Harvey on November 24, 2005 11:07 AMI will go with the first reason. It is the most plausible. #9 - Posted by: Keith Emery on November 24, 2005 12:54 PMI guess democratic memory is one of those things that changes with public opinion.... just a thought ;) #10 - Posted by: shertherapy on November 26, 2005 09:37 PMIt had to be the Gin/Scotch/Sternotini they all socked away before meeting the press. If you're too drunk to remember; it didn't happen! #11 - Posted by: DesertElephant on November 29, 2005 02:13 PMPost a comment
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