You want more amazing beliefs about guns from author Michael Z. Williamson? Then here you go! And I might even have an original post today to boot.

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AMAZING BELIEFS PART 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

That autoloaders are “easily converted” to fully automatic fire, yet the person telling you this has no idea how it’s accomplished.

That banning rifles with bayonet lugs will cut down on all the drive-by bayonetings.

That shooting at an intruder who smashes your door and enters with knife in hand will somehow “escalate the violence.”

That it’s safer with less guns, which is why lunatics shoot up schools instead of gun shows or police stations.

That guns cause crime, which is why there was no rape or murder in the Dark Ages.

That stopping the people who don’t commit murder from having guns will lessen the number of those who do commit murder.

That since banning a few guns hasn’t helped, we should ban more.

That just like the anti-nuclear weapons movement used to believe, if the potential victims disarm, the oppressors will take pity on them and give up their weapons in remorse.

That oppressing gun owners until they violate the law justifies oppressing them further.

That “crime guns” and old police guns should be destroyed at government expense, because the cost of exorcising the evil spirits from them before selling them to lawful owners is exorbitant.

That raising the legal age to possess firearms from 18 to 21 will REALLY show those 16 year olds.

That inner-city blacks in public housing should be disarmed to prevent crimes, but not rich white suburbanites. And it isn’t a sign of racism.

That creating firearms crime by having a Byzantine code of firearm laws proves there’s a problem, and justifies more laws to create more crime.

That liberal parents who give guns to problem children to “teach them responsibility” are not responsible for the deaths they cause, but everyone else’s guns are.

That gun owners are a threat by existing that must be destroyed by any means possible and their rights are unimportant, but the thugs who attack us on the street whom the gun owners wish to be armed against are simply a problem we have to put up with.

That one should judge all gun owners by the acts of a few criminals, just like one should judge all blacks by the acts of a few inner-city crack dealers.

That making it harder to get firearms legally will reduce their illegal use, just like making it harder to get a prescription will cut down on the illicit drug trade.

That it’s tragic when a child dies in a firearms accident, and we must pass restrictive laws to prevent it, but children poisoned by household chemicals are simply unavoidable accidents.

That you don’t need a gun, therefore no one needs one, and you have the right to impose that belief and will on others.

That stupidity can be cured by legislation.

That societies with less guns have less killings by guns, just like societies with less cars have less vehicular homicide. This is deemed to be relevant.

That criminals who rob to support their drug habit can afford $65 a minute in ammunition for their automatic “Weapon of choice.”

That with nationwide gun control, the entire nation can be as safe as NYC, LA and Chicago.

That since a gun isn’t 100% effective for self defense, you should get rid of it, along with your first aid kit and fire extinguisher, since they aren’t 100% effective, either.

That if a violent criminal enters your house, you should do nothing and wait for the police arrive, just as you’d do nothing for an injury or fire and wait for the fire truck or the ambulance.

That if Chicago were to legalize firearms, it would have shootouts in the streets, which never happens now.

That it’s wrong to use tax dollars to finance private political agendas, unless that agenda is to ban guns.

That a “safe gun” will help stop criminal misuse of firearms just like “safe sex” works so well to stop rape.

That a cop with felonies on his record is safe with fully automatic weapons but a churchgoing mother with a parking ticket as her worst crime is unfit to use a pistol to protect her child.

That a suicide who used a gun would still be alive if he or she had used a knife or hanged himself or herself.

That someone else’s suicide is a problem for the rest of us that would be prevented if we gave up our guns.

That alcohol is acceptable in private, as long as the user doesn’t use it while driving, but mere possession of a gun is a threat to others.

That gun owners are unwilling to compromise, which is why there are only 20,000 gun laws in the US.

That criminals are better shots than civilians because of all the time they spend on the practice range.

That since criminals are better shots by the logic above, one is safer by not shooting back, but just waiting for them to run out of ammo.

That it’s reasonable to assume an accident would have been lethal if the victim wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and reasonable to assume that an armed defender would have been safe even if they didn’t have a gun.

That one accidental death is too many, but thousands of people dying because the means of self-defense were not available is unavoidable and not worthy of worry.

That we should ban guns because people have a “right to feel safe,” but the right to feel safe by owning firearms for defense is not valid.

That it’s outrageous to count 18 and 19 year-old parents as “children” for statistical purposes, but perfectly acceptable to count them as children for purposes of exaggerating gun deaths among “children.”

That a zero-tolerance policy is bad regarding drugs, but a zero-tolerance policy is good regarding guns.

That martial arts are a better form of self-defense, and can defeat an armed opponent, but we still need to ban guns because of the danger they present to those few people who don’t know karate.

That government officials can be trusted with automatic weapons, but private citizens cannot, because of the number of people private citizens kill while kicking in doors without search warrants.

That an 18 year old can handle a machinegun and die defending another nation’s oil reserves, thereby being a hero, but an 18 year old who tries to defend his or her child with a gun belongs in jail.

That the few people who can’t use martial arts or other non-lethal means of self-defense—the young, the old, the infirm, the disabled, the weak, the small, and the pregnant—are simply the necessary sacrifice we must make to criminals to avoid the risks of letting people be armed. This is not bigotry.

That the dangers of guns outweigh their recreational uses, unlike alcohol and motorcycles.

That getting rid of guns reduces violence, so the military should be armed with bouquets of flowers.

That we should hang out at funeral homes to tell the families of the deceased how lucky they are their loved one was killed by a drunk and not a man with a gun.

That a conservative with a dozen guns is an “extremist,” and a liberal with a dozen guns is a “museum.”

That a team of cops shooting an unarmed citizen 19 times and not getting charged with murder is “law enforcement” but an old lady shooting a knife-wielding attacker is “vigilanteism,” and we should leave defense to the professionals.

That we should require trigger locks and safe storage facilities for all guns in order to prevent accidents, just like we require all household chemicals to be kept in a locked cabinet.

That a woman shooting a rapist is a felon.

That NORML is good for supporting legalization of a politically unpopular product, but the NRA is bad for supporting legalization of a politically unpopular product.

That poor people who live in high crime areas and can’t afford alarms shouldn’t be allowed to have guns either.

That telling a murderer he’ll go to jail for carrying a gun will make him think twice.

That the only way to end gun violence is to ban guns, just like the only way to end medical malpractice is to ban doctors.

That killing a triple murderer so you don’t become the fourth victim is “escalating the violence.”

That we should get rid of “junk guns” so that criminals are forced to use reliable high-quality guns.

That repealing laws that discriminate against gun-owners “endorses” guns, just like repealing laws that discriminate against gays “endorses” homosexuality.

That guns are designed only to kill, just like women are designed only to give birth.

That only people over 21 are allowed to defend themselves.

That we should ban guns because their primary purpose is to kill people, but we shouldn’t ban alcohol, which has its primary purpose getting intoxicated and losing control of the higher faculties, thereby increasing violence and accidental death.

That according to “Professor” Michael Bellesiles, the lack of mention of firearms in Colonial literature proves their scarcity, much like the lack of mention of outhouses proves their scarcity.

That somehow the above is more relevant to the 2nd Amendment than the lack of letters to public officials and newspapers is relevant to the 1st Amendment.

That a person who would commit violence with a gun would never do so with a knife.

That most people are seething cauldrons of potential violence who cannot be trusted with a gun, but most people are so decent that there is no need to carry a weapon for defense.

That a person foolish enough to leave a gun loaded and lying in reach of a child will somehow be responsible enough to attach a trigger lock.

That 83 million gun owners are “extremists,” and the 50,000 members of the Million Moron March are “the majority.”

That allowing concealed carry does not reduce crime through deterrence since some people do so even though it’s illegal, but allowing concealed carry increases crime, because more people carry guns and use them irresponsibly. (Brady Bunch)

That a woman buying a gun to defend herself against a violent ex needs five days to “cool off.”

That a woman being raped should refuse help from an armed stranger, and instead wait for the police.

That if the Million Moron March protesters feels threatened, they should ask police with guns to protect them while they tell everyone how worthless guns are for protection.

That a trauma surgeon’s experience in treating gunshot wounds makes him an expert on gun control legislation, just like an automobile body repair technician’s experience repairing cars makes him an expert on traffic laws.

That the typical town only needs one law enforcement officer per 1000 population, because most people are law abiding, but that it’s dangerous to let citizens carry weapons because most people are criminal.

That the risk of arrest for carrying a weapon on school grounds will stop a person bent on suicide from starting a shootout.

That felons should be denied the right to ever own a weapon, just like rapists should be castrated before being released from jail.

That the 1939 US vs Miller case, is “established law” that endorses gun control and the matter is closed, just like Plessy vs Ferguson endorsed “separate but equal” schools and the matter is closed.

That game wardens have the most dangerous job in the world, because everyone they deal with is armed.

That there’s no risk of the US becoming a police state, Japanese-Americans were not interned in the 40’s, blacks were not oppressed and jailed in the 50’s, and no students were killed at Kent State.

That when the government promises that they won’t confiscate our weapons after we register them, we can believe them, as did the Commanche, the Sioux, the Apache, the Kaw, the Cree, the Blackfoot, the Italians in NYC, the Jews in Germany, the Zulu in South Africa…and the Americans at Lexington and Concord.

That the government can control guns as well as it controls drugs.

That the high crime rate in cities with oppressive gun control proves the need for gun control in cities without gun control and with low crime.

That Charlton Heston, as president of the NRA, must be a racist, despite his marches with Dr. King in the 1960s. After all, all gun owners are racist, and that theory isn’t bigoted.

That we don’t need guns because America is safe, and only criminals or people wishing to start trouble would be out late at night in bad neighborhoods.

That according to Diane Whinestein, there is no left-wing conspiracy to send police and troops to imprison American gun owners, but there is a vast, right-wing conspiracy of gun owners who must be disarmed for attempting to stop it.

That .50 caliber weapons must be banned in case Americans use them to shoot holes in the armored cars that the government doesn’t own and isn’t going to send against them, also according to Diane Whinestein.

That ships using Australian waters mustn’t carry handguns against the mythical threat of piracy or mutiny, because some aspiring captain might sell them for a few bucks.

That gang punks shot by other gang punks are innocent victims, and babies shot by government agents deserve to die because of the unpopular beliefs of their parents.

That allowing the poor and minorities to defend themselves is Fascist.

That small arms can’t win wars, as all the Viet Cong bombing, air superiority, and naval missions prove.

That John Wayne, rejected by the Marines for bad knees, who portrayed firearms as used by soldiers and law enforcement is a draft-dodging agent of evil, but antigun draft dodger Sylvester Stallone, making movies about Vietnam veterans and using weapons gratuitously, is an American hero to be slobbered over.

That violence is bad, but any defensive use of a firearm that doesn’t involve the death of the perpetrator is invalid.

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(c) 2005 by Michael Z. Williamson. Permission is granted to copy for
non-profit use as long as proper credit is given. Please contact the
author when you do, through www.MichaelZWilliamson.com. It is prefereed
that this (c) notice be attached. For online fora that will reject
copyrighted works, please note the source in text.

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