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December 12, 2005
The Married Man Is in the Hizouse!
Guess who's back, very tired, and has an extremely busy week ahead of him before he can go on his honeymoon cruise? Give you a hint. Name starts in an F and ends in a J. I just found out yesterday I need a copy a certified copy of my birth certificate or they won't let my on the cruise, so I'm scrambling to get a new one sent to me express while at the same time trying to find what happened to the old one. Anyhoo, I'm not going to go full details of the wedding right now, but one of my biggest disappointments was that I barely got to talk to Kevin (a.k.a. cadet happy, a.k.a. sirkisser, a.k.a. mud shoelace, a.k.a. that guy who always photoshops me to look gay, a.k.a. beardo lawyer) and his daughter at all, but he was kind enough to already have up a great photo round up. I also got to meet the blogger formerly known as Spoons and his wife, the first documented blogger marriage. It's cool how many people can find smart and pretty wives through blogging. It was a great wedding, and my only regret was that the DJ (a marine, incidentally) did not have "I am the Walrus" on his Karaoke list (I sang "One Week" for my solo; how could I resist a song that mentions both Aquaman and samurai?). Also, it should be noted that Kris (iowsoccermom) has a great voice along with piano skills (check her site for pictures from the rehersal dinner). Sarah and her should form a band. Speaking of Sarahs, my Silly Sister Sarah was never anything near overweight, but now she's even thinner - like Calista Flockhart thin. She is available, BTW, so applications to date her can be sent so me. Those found lacking will be beaten within an inch of their lives for looking at my little sister. Before I have my two week honeymoon, I'll try to catch up on current events and do a little blogging this week. Then, in January, expect me and the rest of IMAO to be back in full force like never before. BTW, is there anything better than marital sex? 33 Responses To "The Married Man Is in the Hizouse!"
Congrats and have a blast on your honeymoon. I'd be scared to apply to date your sister... is she a good Conservative? #3 - Posted by: Dave on December 12, 2005 10:36 AM"BTW, is there anything better than marital sex?" Being a married man, myself, I've got to answer that...I don't remember, my mind isn't what it used to be...rimshot. Well Mr. J., welcome to the married guy club, your decoder ring is in the mail. The weird thing about getting hitched is you don't feel all that different after the wedding than you did before. Oh sure, you lose your will to live, and you stagger through life a mere parody of a man, but other than that, same old same old. Seriously though, Congrats. #4 - Posted by: Exile on December 12, 2005 10:59 AMNo, there is nothing better than marital sex. My husband and I have been saying that for years. #5 - Posted by: Erica on December 12, 2005 11:10 AMBTW, is there anything better than marital sex? Never been married, so I don't know, but, past the age of fifty, it's really hard to beat a good cigar, followed by a good beer and a nap. i can't believe you're blogging about sex. i always figured i'd be the one to do such a thing, and you'd be blushing about it. but i'm not blushing. :) your sister is not Calista Flockhart thin, because that would be too skinny. Silly Sarah is perfect and beautiful. y'all should have seen Frank's uncle Geoff when Frank was singing One Week. he started off laughing, then moved to whimpering, then he just held his hand in his face for the rest of the song. #7 - Posted by: sarahk on December 12, 2005 11:48 AMMarital sex is the best, and what is with the porn ads in the sidebar? Do I have to block imao.us to keep the kiddies safe? #8 - Posted by: Mountain Mama on December 12, 2005 12:13 PMBTW, is there anything better than marital sex? Yes! Lot's of it! :-) #9 - Posted by: Masked Menace© on December 12, 2005 12:53 PMDave, Oh, I keep forgetting to send her a login for IMAO. Exile, I've heard extra-marital sex is pretty good, too... #11 - Posted by: RFTR on December 12, 2005 02:10 PMI am the same weight I have always been! What are you going around remembering me fatter? Do I sound overweight on the phone? Do you have some many preconcieved notions about the pleasantly plump that you think you can spot one by voice alone? Well, you are wrong, sir!! and in SO many ways! Love, "I'm not going to go full details of the wedding right now" Ha - I thought that said "wedding night," and I was thinking, "Frank is gonna post the full details? talk about a frank discussion..." #13 - Posted by: Citizen Grim on December 12, 2005 02:46 PMYes, marital sex is best - I've been divorced a week now and miss it terribly. Cheating little... Now, please completely forget that first paragraph, Frank. About your sister... Hmmmm.... OK, where's the form? Anyway, congrats in a huge way, Frank and Sarah!!! I hope it was the happiest day of your life so far, with many more to come!!! OK, seriously, where's the form? #14 - Posted by: Kent on December 12, 2005 02:51 PM"BTW, is there anything better than marital sex?"
Hot conservative redhead who lives in LA and knows all about dealing with dorky computer geeks by virtue of being frankj's sister? Is she going to be in San Diego anytime soon? :) #16 - Posted by: Dave2 on December 12, 2005 05:16 PMIf this is the sister who was at Bill Whittle's reading a couple years ago, I will attest to her being completely gorgeous (albeit very young), thus giving complete lie to any theory of genetics she may share with Frank. Congrats to you all on the nupt-yools. I'll have to wait until I get home to check out the pics. #17 - Posted by: hindmost on December 12, 2005 05:31 PMAh, I wasn't aware of Spoons and Spouse of Spoons having both been bloggers and met that way. I wonder how many others preceded me and Deb, and for that matter how many others like you have followed that I don't know about. I was just telling Sarah that I still recommend quietly running off to Vegas. But too late now. Congratulations! #18 - Posted by: Jay on December 12, 2005 07:09 PMCongrats to the newlyweds. Nothing clever to add, just congratulations. #19 - Posted by: Andrew Shimmin on December 12, 2005 08:59 PMWeddings are fun! (Yee haw). I wish we'd have been able to stay for all the Karaoke, but no one would have wanted to have to follow Sarah, anyway. Plus, we were beat from a 7am flight, and a day at the range with the DuToits. What a fun trip! #20 - Posted by: Spoons on December 12, 2005 10:09 PMNo! There is NOTHING better than marital sex! NOTHING! *shakes fist* #21 - Posted by: Undercover Hippie on December 12, 2005 10:29 PMI should mention, as an afterthought, that it's probably best that I didn't stay for Karaoke. My Award Winning rendition of "One Week" (2nd Place Karaoke on Royal Carribbean's Serenade of the Seas, thankyouverymuch) might have made you feel... inadequate. And I just didn't think you needed that on your wedding night... at least not before the guests left. #22 - Posted by: Spoons on December 12, 2005 10:35 PMOooh, oooh! I'm single, Frank! Single and I practically reek of desparation! #24 - Posted by: Mac on December 12, 2005 11:27 PMI was at FrankJ's wedding. The bride is beautiful and Frank has grown into a handsome man. I haven't seen Frank for eight years and it took the poor guy about 30 seconds to place me. He kept staring at me. I felt bad for him. I don't think you should quit your day job, Frank. Your voice left lots to be desired. I was glad I got to see you, your new wife and your family. #25 - Posted by: CousinDonna on December 12, 2005 11:35 PMOh, and it was so sweet to see the love that you and SarahK have for each other. I could see it in your eyes as you looked at each other. Congratulations and many happy years ahead!!! #26 - Posted by: Donna on December 12, 2005 11:37 PMBTW, is there anything better than marital sex? Fugitive sex! /Costanza #27 - Posted by: Vader on December 13, 2005 02:30 AMDonna, oh well. #28 - Posted by: sarahk on December 13, 2005 06:58 AMOh wow, I have been absent from my daily IMAO check in for waaay too long!! I had NO IDEA the nuptials had taken place! Jeez! Some loyal reader I am! Anyway, congratulations and many many years of times...good and bad. The bad can do just as much good for your marriage as the good...does that make sense? You know what I mean I hope. And as for the sex question? Nope...nuthin better :) #29 - Posted by: LC ima mommy on December 13, 2005 01:13 PMCongratulations Frank and Sarah. Being married is wonderful...sometimes tough, but wonderful nonetheless. Of course, I don't have much authority on the matter since we just passed 4 months of marital bliss. :D And as for the marital sex question...nope, there's nothing better! #30 - Posted by: ashlee on December 14, 2005 02:28 PMI knew all of the comments would be about that last line. That is all. Except to say congratulations, which I will say more formally on my blog, later. Right above the picture of the 50 Cent cardboard cutout. #31 - Posted by: Kim on December 15, 2005 10:22 AMCongratulations! I am beginning to think golf is better than marital sex... or sex in general for that matter. Love is the axis upon which a good love relationship spins. #33 - Posted by: Lamar Cole on January 1, 2006 12:26 PMPost a comment
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