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December 14, 2005
When the Commisar Called Them "Leftards," I Didn't Think They Were Literally Retarded
I don't know how much you check out the nuttier left-wing sites, but many of the muckadoos are all a flutter over Bush supposedly saying that 30,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed. A number of news sources even had headlines saying, "Bush says 30,000 Iraqi civilians dead in war." But Greyhawk pointed out that the actual exchange is this: Q Since the inception of the Iraqi war, I'd like to know the approximate total of Iraqis who have been killed. And by Iraqis I include civilians, military, police, insurgents, translators. Some newspapers when called on it have now changed their headlines, but the urban legend will probably live on (on DU, they were angry at Bush for not admitting more civilians were killed). Now, I had my fun with TBogg yesterday and was going to leave it at that, but I began to wonder what makes a TBogg tick. Thus, I checked out his posts today. In one, he tries to take Greyhawk to task in this already lost battle, TBogg saying that the original headlines were correct. Why does TBogg think this? Because, apparently, TBogg doesn't understand the differences between the word "civilian" and "citizen." Now I'm feeling bad because I realize that yesterday I was making fun of retarded people. I guess I could try and make up for it by explaining how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares to help them understand, but I fear references to geometry would just confuse them further. I think the original goal of cheering up TBogg was a good one, because the people over there seem very angry and confused. They might even bite. So, how does one cheer up a leftwing nut? I was thinking you could put on a chimp mask and say, "I'm Resident Bush!" and that would make them laugh, clap, and giggle at how clever that is. Put other ideas for cheering up lefties in the comments. UPDATE: This is so moronic and TBogg left himself so open, that it almost seems like its a trap. Anyone think its a trap? Maybe I should have sent spacemonkey in to make fun of his post first...
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16 Responses To "When the Commisar Called Them "Leftards," I Didn't Think They Were Literally Retarded"
"So, how does one cheer up a leftwing nut? " My experience is that the slow of mind are always fond of balloons. #1 - Posted by: SayUncle on December 14, 2005 11:14 AMor silly putty and a newspaper #2 - Posted by: adam on December 14, 2005 11:35 AMadam, You can cheer up a leftwing nut by sending them a tin of "Kwansmasukkah" cashews. Don't make the mistake of sending Brazil nuts. Given their alternate name that is likely to enrage, not pacify. #4 - Posted by: Uncle Ben on December 14, 2005 11:41 AMHow to cheer up a leftwing nut: 1) Tell them more troops have died in Iraq. That always seems to make them happy. 2) Suggest Saddam's tea was served at an inappropriately cool temperature, thus torturing the mass murderer. We know they hate torture! 3) Call the Sunnis running for office in tomorrow's election 'traitors'. It's all about the sovereignty with the leftards. 4) Call Laura Bush names- she deserves it since she married the Bushitlerburton. #5 - Posted by: Allan on December 14, 2005 11:49 AMtell them that they are right. Military people really aren't citizens. Isn't that what they are saying? I think some of them believe it. #6 - Posted by: tommy on December 14, 2005 12:04 PMI see absolutely no reason to try to cheer up a lefty moonbat. My job is to devastate and demoralize them. But, I guess if you have to, sock puppets doing some sort of play about abortion and/or AIDs might do the trick. As for whether it's a trap, I can't say what that guy's up to. I had to read the tangled web a couple of times, go read the original piece in the Gazette, go back to tboggs site, and I'm still not sure whether he missed the point, or if he's confused, or if, more likely, he's just trying to stir stuff up in order to drive traffic to his site. He's gotten two page reads off of me this week, after all. He'll get no more. Oh, BTW, it took only four posts in his comments on this to generate the dropping of the MF-bomb. That's gotta be some kind of record. I'm new to this blogging thing. Is it a lefty meme thing to try to be the first person to post a vulgarity in the comments? Like how we do that whole "First" thing? Kill people then write children's books...they love that. New variations of Bush, like Bu$hitlerepugsonofsatan Also, fruit baskets and tofu. Tofu makes them giggle and clap. #9 - Posted by: uber on December 14, 2005 02:30 PMI'm rather quick of mind and I still like balloons and silly putty. Cheering up people that want to lose is like whale hunting with a toothpick. (I wonder if PETA would be opposed to that?) #10 - Posted by: Brett on December 14, 2005 03:25 PMMonkey suits and ass-less pants are always funny. #11 - Posted by: Undercover Hippie on December 14, 2005 04:19 PMHow about this: TBogg, you see, its a horse. A horse. Get it? No. Oh, well, sorry. #12 - Posted by: Undercover Hippie on December 14, 2005 04:21 PMMeh... I always was fond of taking them to recruiters offices so they could protest the Armed Forces recruiting the Poor and UnfortunateŽ to fight in "that big fat meanny head's" war. Damn good thing they're morons and don't notice my BDUs with the US Army in big letters :) #13 - Posted by: Trendy on December 14, 2005 06:52 PMJust tell them you believe in gun control, it won't be a lie just a different type of gun control....I do it to some of the lefties around here and they think they have won... #14 - Posted by: The Great Rindo on December 14, 2005 09:13 PMSo, how does one cheer up a leftwing nut? LEFT-WING NUT: (chants half-spiritedly) Bush lied! (looks sad and confused) IMAO READER: (shouts) Down with capitalism! LEFT-WING NUT: (laughs, claps, and giggles) IMAO READER: Hey, wanna go to Starbucks? LEFT-WING NUT: Good idea! (leaves alone) IMAO READER: (whispers) Whew! #15 - Posted by: shepshep on December 15, 2005 03:10 PM"Monkey suits and ass-less pants are always funny." But even better when the monkey is shaved and the pants are rubber. #16 - Posted by: Mick on December 15, 2005 10:47 PMPost a comment
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