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January 20, 2006
MMMmmmm Chocolate.
So Ray Nagin says New Orleans should be rebuilt as a chocolate city and will be a chocolate city. I can't fault him for that. I love chocolate. But if N.O. is to be chocolate, would anyone be upset if I were to suggest that it be not just any old chocolate but a rich dark chocolate, you know with only racially pure chocolate beans? You know, the good stuff, made from fresh chocolate beans. Much of the chocolate I see walking the streets looks like a light milk chocolate, maybe even a chocolate vanilla swirl and isn't strong and fullbodied like the darkest dark chocolate. A pure chocolate New Orleans could be made pure and kept pure by some sort of a Chocolate Cleaning Club, or a CCC for short. The Chocolateers of the CCC could ride in the daylight wearing some sort of dark robes, maybe nice headdress as well, and strike fear into any lighter impurities that might wander in and be found in the chocolate from time to time. Unfortunately for Nagin, there'd be no place for people of, dare I say it, a neopolitan heritage like himself in the reborn Big Eboneasy. But I'm sure some peppermint mocha town like Atlanta or a moosetracks burg like Seattle would welcome him. 20 Responses To "MMMmmmm Chocolate."
You'd think New Orlean's reconstruction was being funded by Ghirardelli or Hershey... Also, FIRST! #1 - Posted by: ZK on January 20, 2006 10:01 AMI'm beginning to think it's being funded by Hansel and Gretel. #2 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on January 20, 2006 10:02 AMYou're really mean. Funny, but mean. Must be what keeps me coming back. #4 - Posted by: SilverBubble on January 20, 2006 10:09 AMAs a native of Atlanta, I tend to think of us as more of a pepperment patty and mocha latte kind of a town. In any case, I doubt that Nagin would be comfortable here as we also have a healthy dose of macadamia-nut milk chocolate, and red licorice, as well. I'm not real fond of the red licorice, but our chocolate covered raisons are not to be missed. We're a very diverse place. #5 - Posted by: BrendaK on January 20, 2006 10:22 AMYour comments are terrible, my face just turned strawberry. #6 - Posted by: NRAforever on January 20, 2006 10:50 AMcan i eat it? #7 - Posted by: z on January 20, 2006 10:57 AMMy fellow Seattleites would make Nagin mayor-for-life. . . #8 - Posted by: Sotosoroto on January 20, 2006 11:09 AMMan. Ray must really like the taste of leather. And he's sure gonna need it when those CCC chaps run his light chcolate ass outta town. He'll be using up a lot of that shoe leather then. #9 - Posted by: DesertElephant on January 20, 2006 11:11 AMI neglected to mention, Nagin may not want to come to Atlanta because of the boiled peanuts. The slippery things are all over the place. #10 - Posted by: BrendaK on January 20, 2006 11:44 AMa chocolate city would be great. and tasty. but if your going to make a city out of chocolate somewhere that all of the chocolate won't get melted or washed away every year because people don't realize that if you live in a hole, your gonna get flooded. and i don't like flooded chocolate. unless it's heated and then it's hot cocoa. Any way take over canada, make it a theocracy like frankJ is always talking about, and build your city there. then make N.O. not a hole in the ground. that would help. #11 - Posted by: Garrett DeMeyer on January 20, 2006 05:02 PMunless you meant a chocolate capitol of america, then just make it somewhere in south-eastern wisconsin, the REAL dairy state. #12 - Posted by: Garrett DeMeyer on January 20, 2006 05:05 PMummmmmm a chocolate city it does'nt melt in your hand or your mouth caus it's located in hurricane alley down south #13 - Posted by: DohXs on January 20, 2006 06:47 PMWow! That SO brings to mind a poem called "Harlem Sweeties"...Mind if I wax a bit hungrily: Let me repeat: Man, Langston Hughes knows how to make a person hungry... But then I guess he wouldn't fit in down in New Orleans... Was New Orleans one big chocolate filled toilet? Was the hurricane the big flush? Mr. Nagin, how come you were not with all your "Chocolate Soldiers" hanging out at the Super Dome or down by Convention Center after the storm? We all saw the Post storm "Chocolate Riots". If they couldn't rape it, kill it, or steal it, they burned it. Do you want that criminal element back? The crime rate has dropped to its lowest in over 20 years in the big easy. Mr. Nagin, there is something a lot of "your people" want to know. It's true that some of the chocolate in New Orleans is just as sweet as can be-we love you and want you back. Nobody in New Orleans wants the taste of that "Bitter Chocolate" in their mouth again. Mayor Nagin is "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!" #16 - Posted by: SicSemperTyrannus on January 21, 2006 01:04 PM"My fellow Seattleites would make Nagin mayor-for-life. . ." Note to self: Don't.... move.... to.... Seattle..... Done.. thanks! #17 - Posted by: Chris on January 21, 2006 04:41 PMI think I saw the chocolate city on an episode of the Simpsons a few years back. All of this is irrelevant to the real issue here: if Mayor Nagin is Willie Wonka, then who are the Oompah Loompahs? The Fruit of Islam? Oompah Loompah gobbelty gork Oompah Loompah dopety joke Oompah Loompah tinfoil hat Oompah Loompah ignorant ass Oompah Loompah shallow gene pool Yes colorblind he does want that criminal element back. And being from NOLA I can say Katrina did indeed flush something that needed flushing. Post a comment
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