Chris Matthews has somehow gotten the moonbats hating him since he made the obvious comparison between Osama bin Laden's rhetoric and Michael Moore (who previously bragged that Osama must have watched his film Fahrenheit 911). John Kerry actually went on the mental patient emporium, Daily "Screw 'Em" Kos, to defend Michael Moore, probably in hopes that people don't realize that OBL's rhetoric was not quite as radical as Moore's and closer to his own.

This is a bad precedent for Democrats to be closely associating with the noisy nuts. What's next? Reid going on Democratic Underground and patiently listening to their crazed conspiracy theories involving Bush and Rove and aliens? The wackos of Daily Kos and DU have been trying for a while to grasp at the steering wheel of the Democratic Party with their tiny, clawed hands, but, if they get control of that Yugo, they'll send it off a cliff post haste. Thus, I had my crack research staff look into the crazies so that even the Democratic leadership will know:

FUN FACTS ABOUT DUMMIES AND KOSKIDS

* Commenters on the Daily Kos are often referred to as "KosKids" since "KosCrankyToddlers" is more cumbersome.

* Democratic Underground posters are referred to as DUmmies because they're dumb.

* Most haven't bathed since the Clinton administration... and the more militant not even then.

* For a while, their membership peaked. But advances in voice recognition have caused a resurgence now that the illiterate can join them in posting.

* Karl Rove denies all rumors that he created DU and Daily Kos to help marginalize the Democratic Party. Also, Markos Moulitsas Zúniga vehemently denies he is Rove's lovechild... perhaps a little too vehemently.

* Psychology professors often use postings from DU and Daily Kos as examples of extreme paranoid schizophrenia. There is an academic debate, though, that the posters suffer less from diagnosable mental disorders and more from plain stupidity.

* Though DUmmies and KosKids rarely emerge from their dank dwellings, if you are confronted by one, simply repeat the phrase "President Bush" over and over, as that causes them physical pain.

* Another way to incapacitate a DUmmie or KosKid is to say "Chimpy McHitler" which will cause him to fall to the ground in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. The sight can be quite disturbing, though.

* Usually any death in Washington D.C. is blamed on a Bush conspiracy, but if something happens to Joe Lieberman, expect multiple people from DU and DailyKos to claim credit.

* DU and DailyKos are careful to exclude anyone from commenting who might deviate from the norm and express a rational thought (i.e., "In some ways, Hitler was worse than Bush."). This was instituted on request of multiple janitors of mental wards who had to clean up all the poo thrown when DUmmies or KosKids find their beliefs questioned.

* The appointing of Howard Dean to DNC Chairman is considered by many to have been done to try and appease the crazies of DU and Daily Kos. The other benefit is that it keeps Dean in the public eye, making it very hard for him to sneak out at night and beat to death people with a hammer for trespassing on whatever he currently considers "his" bike path.

* Koko the Gorilla used to post to DU, but she was banned for always talking over everyone's heads.

* The posting on DU had a lasting effect on Koko, who, to this day, will attack a picture of Bush whenever she runs out of bananas.

* One strongly held belief by DUmmies and KosKids is that they are smarter than everyone else. If anyone disputes this, they will scratch and bite.

* It's just an urban legend that, if a DUmmie or Kos Kid bites you, you will become one. But it is a good idea to have the wound treated for infection and also receive rabies shots.

* In a fight between DUmmies, KosKids, and Aquaman, Aquaman would get along for a while when he blamed Bush’s policies for ocean pollution, but he would eventually be banned when he expressed that he saw no reason or evidence that Bush had Mel Carnahan killed.

* Though DUmmies and KosKids often vow to flee to Canada, in reality the security at their mental wards is too strong for that to happen.

* DUmmies and KosKids prefer the term "progressive" to "liberal." What they are progressing towards is unknown, but its probably complete mental breakdowns.

* Because of the constant, irrational anger that has overtaken DUmmies and KosKids, they are at great risk for high blood pressure and heart attacks. Other than that, there isn't too much nice to say about them.

* Some fear that the extreme hatred emanating from DUmmies and KosKids could lead to them committing acts of violence. This is unlikely, though, due to their underdeveloped opposable thumbs.

* When not gnashing their teeth and stomping their feet at everything the "evil" Republicans are doing, the DUmmies and KosKids are often complaining how the Democrats aren't following their insane and counterintuitive advice. Democrats often have Ted Kennedy try and calm the moonbats, as they are more than happy to change Teddy’s adult diapers.

* While many claim to "support the troops," the DUmmies and KosKids do everything up to and including supporting the terrorists with their rhetoric. This quite dismays the terrorists as they fear any association with the DUmmies and KosKids would make it easy to have their organizations labeled as "nuts."

* If anyone on DU or DailyKos deviates from the groupthink, the person is often accused of being a "Freeper." From context, this word appears to mean "someone capable of logical and/or rational thought."

* If you don't find this list funny, someone from DU or DailyKos could explain to you how that is Bush's fault.

* While many people read the ramblings of the DUmmies and KosKids for entertainment purposes, remember that these posts represent real people lurking out there who think these things. Not so funny now, is it?

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Know Thy Enemy
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