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February 06, 2006
Christians Would Be Mocked Less by the Media If They Stopped Listening to Jesus
An Editorial by Frank J.
The left are having a lot of trouble with the Muslim cartoon riots, as they can’t seem to come to any conclusions different than those of right-wingers. The Muslims aren't even rioting against the things the left wanted them to get angry about like the invasion of Iraq and supposed torture. The only thing that seems to get the radicals out in the streets so far have been a phony story about a flushed Koran and a couple of cartoons. A few lefties, struggling to hold onto their warped world view where the Muslims radicals are the victims since the terrorists hate Bush, try to equivocate Christian fundamentalists with Islamic radicals since Christians also complain when they get made fun of. "Jesus is all peace and love, and, whatever the merits of that message, that won't frighten the media away from making fun of you." And it's true; we complain a lot. That's because, unlike the Muslims, we get targeted in the mainstream media all the time. There were even tax dollars going to a crucifix in a jar of urine, and we complained... but that's all we did. Where were the burnt buildings? Where were the beheadings? Moron rapper Kayne West posed as Jesus on a magazine cover; where's the fatwa against him? Christians don't even have a word for "fatwa"! Know why? Jesus. Jesus is all peace and love, and, whatever the merits of that message, that won't frighten the media away from making fun of you. As we've seen, believable threats of violence and death tend to make people more sensitive about your feelings. Too many Christians, though, won't murder an infidel or a blasphemer because it's not "what Jesus would have wanted." Well, as long you're hiding behind that excuse, who is going to be afraid of us? Remember back when Christians stopped listening to Jesus and murdered whomever they didn't like? How many people mocked Christianity during the Spanish Inquisition? Not very many people at all. Frankly, I have little room to complain, as I've been listening a bit too much to Jesus too. Last time my Christian sensibilities were offended, know how many embassies I burned? One or less. Well, it's time for a change. I've even come up with how to pretend it's in my religious beliefs to do violence on behalf of hurt feelings. I'll just extrapolate Jesus knocking over a few tables in a temple into igniting a consulate while ignoring all that "turn the other cheek" stuff. So, come on, Christian brethren, it's time to burn and pillage until people quiver in fear at the thought of mocking us. I say we start with the Muslim countries; not much respect there. Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is a frequent contributor to IMAOPodcast.com. He is also the creator of such blasphemous illustrations as "Jesus Versus Mohammed: The Cage Match" and "Buddha Robbing a Liquor Store". Well, we need to organize an IMAO riot. You better post a meeting place and what type of ammunition to bring and how many Molotov Cocktails per person, etc. We have to know so we can ask for the time off work. #1 - Posted by: DesertElephant on February 6, 2006 12:43 PMExcellent commentary. The middle-east would be around for about another five minutes if we thought the way they did. Then it'd be a giant ash tray. #2 - Posted by: Jack on February 6, 2006 12:47 PMI'll join the riot!! #3 - Posted by: ChaldoZach on February 6, 2006 12:58 PMDidn't Jesus at one time make a lot of noise and generally make a spectacle of Himself regarding the exchanging of money ( I think it may have been on the steps of a temple or something)? Sounds a lot like my wife and teenage daughter on a typical outing to the mall ( kind of like a Temple to them)! Does that count? #4 - Posted by: mudshark on February 6, 2006 01:01 PMDo we have to sing hymns during this riot? 'Cause I really hate singing hymns. #5 - Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony on February 6, 2006 01:11 PMI'll bring the muslim country flags (for the post riot flag burning and BBQ) and one of those Muhammed pinatas. Also, we can pass out some "Fun with Muhammed" coloring books for the kids. #6 - Posted by: hwy93 on February 6, 2006 01:22 PMJust to let you know that now french readers can enjoy the great wisdom of the nuke the moon theory! Yeehah!
All that rioting sounds like a lot of effort. Can't we just pretend that they live in Los Angelels or Detroit and let them destroy themselves during their own rioting? That seems more efficient. #8 - Posted by: LibertyBob on February 6, 2006 01:59 PMI wouldn't mind joining if I don't have drive more than 30 minutes from my house and as long as it does not interfer with my tee time. #9 - Posted by: John on February 6, 2006 02:20 PMHell, I'd drive cross country for a good riot. Maybe burn the National Endowment for the arts. Or maybe any Arabic language newspaper offices that depict the Jews and Christians as Satanic or avaricious, or Infidels or etc. Jesus was just a prophet my ass. I say bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade and crack open the Book of Armaments. #10 - Posted by: DesertElephant on February 6, 2006 02:53 PMI agree! Time to get mid-evil on their non-christen asses! We'll go Jesuit 'old school' on every sorry heathen we find ... we'll speak ancient Cannon Law in Latin ... we'll need torture chambers in the basements ... first we convert'm, then we kill'm. Yea, baby, have us a good old fashioned inquisition ... yea ... yea ... "Do we have to sing hymns during this riot? 'Cause I really hate singing hymns."
I think we can still keep that 'turn the other cheek' idea- Just turn it the long way around with one leg held in the air. It would also help to make Jesus look more like Chuck Norris. #13 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on February 6, 2006 04:01 PMI refer to you Ann Coulter, who back on 9/12/2001 said we should carpet bomb the Muslim countries and covert the survivors to Christianity. Perhaps you need to invite her on to your group blog team. #14 - Posted by: Gullyborg on February 6, 2006 04:18 PMI was just in a flame war with a EuroPeon about many things, not least of which how he feels that Islam has done a lot to enrich European culture and science, that Christians have brought nothing but war, anti-science, should not be trusted with government, how the Europeans have had centuries of experience dealing with Islam and will not be assimilated despite the birthrate bomb in the Europe at the moment (FYI, this was after the torched cars but before the cartoon riots). So anyway, if the Europeans feel we American Christians are just as bad if not worse than those torching their embassies over a cartoon, what is there to loose? I’ve mentioned this before here, but I do like the idea of proposing a “Do Unto Muslims” Day on 9/11, where we plan to behead imams at Detroit mosques (as happened to Filipino missionaries right after the Desert Storm in Saudi Arabia), force their wives into marriages with Christians and Jews (as is done in Sudan), kill women and children in a mosque and roll our cowboy hats in the blood to commemorate the great day for the faith (as happened in Fez to the Coptic Christians), not to mention duct taping an airliner full of civilian Muslim families to their airline seats and crashing them into the twin towers in Malaysia. I don’t propose actually DOING it, just announcing it on April Fools Day or something to hopefully make the collective anti-American hash-fest have a coronary – They can’t say we should because that would show intolerance, and they can’t say we’re being bloodthirsty without admitting that this behavior is wrong. All the same – isn’t it hilarious after them grabbing their collective ankles for the Muslims over and over, to hear the crowds screaming “death to France” and “death to Denmark” for once instead of “death to America”? Are you mocking Mohammed with your picture at the top of this story? Is your hand supposed to be a BEARD? After more than 25 years in the Mommy trenches and straddling the cusp of Grandparenthood, the fanatics remind me of a group of two year olds. You can't reason with them, because logic is not something they have developed yet. The only way to deal with a misbehaving two year old is to make them do what you tell them too, for their own good. Here's an idea maybe we should send Super Nanny to every Muslim country to institute an official Naughty Spot, in which to put those who can't play well with others. Religion of Peace, my great aunt's bustle! I know the riots and the media commenting on them seems really annoying, but this is exactly the way this will all work out for us. If the media gets this extremist dogma full in the face, that members of this insane religion are so BONKERS that they riot over freaking CARTOONS, how can they keep calling it a religion of peace? Thus something WILL eventually kick in with the media, hopefully, that "hey, these guys just ain't right" As for our own riot, I say we wait until the RAPTURE, and if any of us are left, THEN we go insane and firebomb UN buildings, etc. #18 - Posted by: sarasmom on February 7, 2006 12:42 PMMa'am, this is a blog. 'Round here we call it "The SINGULARITY". #19 - Posted by: David Ross on February 8, 2006 12:05 AMseanmahair, Pithy and good! Keep on truckin'! #20 - Posted by: Da Coyote on February 10, 2006 01:23 PMPost a comment
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Stumble It!
An Editorial by Frank J."