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February 07, 2006
Frank Advice on Drawing Mohammed
So, you want to draw Mohammed? Follow these steps and you can have your own artistic depiction of the Prophet: 1. Obtain a drawing pad. If you don't want to spend money on one, a blank piece of white printer paper on top of a hard surface works for drawing. 2. Find a nice sharpened pencil or a quality mechanical pencil. For a good artistic depiction of Mohammed, you need good tools. Also, a clean eraser will help with the inevitable mistakes. 3. Assuming this will be a full body depiction, first draw a circle for the head and then mark the height of the entire body by making it seven times the head size. Do rough sketch of the body shape, legs, and arms based on standard proportions for a male subject. 4. Call your embassies in Middle Eastern countries to check their fire precautions including smoke detectors and fire escapes. When drawing Mohammed, it is essential your embassies already have procedures in case of fire. 5. Draw Mohammed's clothes. You can base this on the historically accurate depictions of clothing for the time. While it may be tempting to draw Mohammed with a leather jacket with one sleeve missing and a shotgun, this would not be an accurate depiction of the Prophet. If you can't find an image of proper clothing for the time period, use a muumuu as your model. 6. Check that your firearms are clean and loaded. You may need them at a moment's notice. 7. For Mohammed's head, a turban would be appropriate. Make sure to research tying styles to draw the turban accurately. Turbans are not made with towels and should not have a Holiday Inn logo. 8. Make sure to test your alarm system. If someone breaks into your house, you want to make sure that both you and the police will be notified by the alarm. 9. For Mohammed's face, make sure to draw him happy; if you were a prophet of Allah, wouldn't you be happy? He should have a beard, but don't use a member of ZZ Top as a model for the face. 10. Obtain a siren. Radical Muslims are easily scared by bright lights and loud noises. 11. Consider accessories such as a scimitar in Mohammed's hand and/or a scroll he has written. While a lightsaber might be fun, this is not what Mohammed would be seen holding according to historical records. 12. Practice drawing from your holster and make sure you can take off the safety and pull the trigger in one smooth action. If you follow all these tips, you'll now have your own drawing of Mohammed and not be dead. Enjoy! 16 Responses To "Frank Advice on Drawing Mohammed"
I recommend a Glock instead of #12. I recommend a Large caliber revolver. I'm thinking .44 Mag with the 5-6" barrel. No safeties to worry about, but you'll need to remember even morethan with an automatic: Squeeze, don't pull, the trigger. #3 - Posted by: DesertElephant on February 7, 2006 01:57 PMWhat I REALLY want to see is a drawing of Mohammed getting it where the "sun don't shine" by Uncle Sam with the President, VP, SecDef and others lined up to take their turn at giving him what he has coming to him. I just wish I had some drawing talent . . . Send that around the globe a few times and watch them EXPLODE . . . quite literally. #4 - Posted by: Stalwart on February 7, 2006 02:41 PMI think we should start our own contest. According to the verse in Genesis(the Bible, not the music group) all sons of Ishmeal would be asses of men and not get along with their neighbors. Somehow this inspired me to take the bomb-headed Mohammed and paste it to the rearend of a donkey. However I really suck at paintshop pro, so if anyone can do a better version and email it around the world, I believe we'll have a true to life prophecy of this inspirational and knowledgeable Bible verse. ...Plus I would giggle like a hyena!!! #6 - Posted by: sarasmom on February 7, 2006 07:03 PMLets copy more of these cartoons, drop from the air as leaflets, sit back back and watch as the crazed animals kill themselves off protesting....would be a good way of getting rid of the radical kook side of islam...(note lower case)...sign of NO respect....what a bunch of morons...no wonder they want to live like they did in the 1400 century! WK #7 - Posted by: White Knight on February 7, 2006 09:12 PMWhite Knight, Um, the 1400th century? Anyone who's read Dune knows that the Sunni merge with Zen Bhuddism in the future and become blue-eyed spice addicts. #8 - Posted by: DesertElephant on February 8, 2006 08:48 AMWhen I see those dirty bums in filthy nightshirts dancing up and down it reminds me of the savages from old time movies. Except the ending is not that same. Oi how about u all go fuk u muthers and bogen slut sisters and get a life instead of talking about the prophet mutherfukin geeks and if ur man enough come face to face cock sucking muther fuking hoes well, That was quite a nice valenitne from someone. Somebody toss him a kleenex, quick! #11 - Posted by: gawfer on February 14, 2006 12:59 PMGive him a break... He was up all night looking up those words... #12 - Posted by: Strnj1 on February 14, 2006 07:28 PMThe best canvas for a portrait of Mohammed is a football. Good old American pigskin. #13 - Posted by: Guncrazy on February 15, 2006 02:36 AM"Oi how about u all go fuk u muthers and bogen slut sisters and get a life instead of talking about the prophet mutherfukin geeks and if ur man enough come face to face cock sucking muther fuking hoes" Say where do you live? #14 - Posted by: Gunny on February 15, 2006 09:11 AM#11 "or a scroll he had written..." I am not an expert on the religion of allah (piss be upon him) but it seems to me that there is some requirement to goto mecca at least once in ones lifetime. Since many forward thinking people have decided that bombing mecca is a good idea, I propose a better solution. Post a comment
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