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February 08, 2006
Who is Jimmy Carter? An IMAO Educational Moment
Posted by RightWingDuck at 01:40 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (14)

At yesterday’s funeral for Coretta Scott King, we witnessed what Democrats do best: Bash Bush at every opportunity. Although some felt this was inappropriate for a funeral, many were grateful that they didn't use her casket as a podium.

What surprised me was that Jimmy Carter was the first to kick off the Bush Bash. Now, you might ask yourself, “Self, who the hell is this nut bag?”

Well, hold on to your history books, it's time to take a short look at...


The Top Accomplishments of Jimmy Carter

Former President Carter had the honor of having a loser, embarrassing brother; A proud tradition he carried over from President John F. Kennedy. (Teddy, I’m looking at you.)

In a tight economy, the Carter administration worked with the Iranians to have them care for American citizens for 444 days. This saved American businesses thousands of dollars.

Unfortunately, this ‘savings’ came to an end when that Bastard Ronald Reagan decides that these visitors needed ‘freedom.’

President Carter was once a member of the Bee Gees. Years later, he would be surprised to discover that they were men.

Jimmy Carter travels the world ensuring that elections are carried out fairly and offering certification of election results.

Some elections have even been certified AFTER the voting was completed.

In the 70’s, Jimmy shocked the nation when he admitted to having impure thoughts.: about the Bee Gees.

Although mislabeled as a gas shortage, it was indeed good for the environment. Plus those long lines were a great way to get to know your neighbors.

Waiting in line to gain absolutely nothing turned out to become an important selling point for the DNC .

Under President Carter, the military had few successful campaigns, but many successful bake sales. This allowed the army to buy more green things such as trucks, uniforms, and food.

Mr. Carter has been very active in working with Habitat for Humanity. An organization that creates housing for people who otherwise would have no hope of owning a home. Many times, he even pitches in to help build. This is a very odd sight: It's one of the few times you'll ever see a Democrat hit a nail right on the head.

**

I hope this educational primer entertained and informed. If not – Blame Bush.

We at IMAO pride ourselves on our ability to educate and enlighten. So the next time you see Jimmy Carter you can say, “Hey, I know who you are - I LOVED the Bee Gees!”

Rating: 2.3/5 (15 votes cast)

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