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February 27, 2006
The War in Iraq Is Truly Lost... If We Leave
An Editorial by Frank J.
Many people are saying we should leave Iraq. This is not a good strategy for victory if you let me explain. You see, when you're competing at something and suddenly leave, you lose. Like most people, I've been watching Olympic curling. Sometimes, one team would be so far behind that, instead of playing to the end, they'd just shake hands and leave. And know what happened then? That team would lose! Yes, they could have stayed longer and tried against odds to win, but, since they left, the judges just went ahead and marked them a loser. "Even if you're winning, leaving causes you to lose!" Maybe you're thinking now that perhaps leaving is a good idea if you know you will lose because leaving and losing now will save time. Well, that's loser talk. Also, listen to this: when I was a kid, I played soccer (I was young; I didn't know any better). Once, we were trouncing a team so badly that it got boring and we just left. We had a ton more goals, but, because we left, we were marked as losing! So, even if you're winning, leaving causes you to lose! Remember the only war America lost? My dad does; he's a Vietnam vet and, every time I see him, I say, "Hey, remember that war you were in? You lost it, loser." Then he hangs his head and walks away and I yell, "Yeah, you better walk away, loser." As my dad sometimes tells me, it wasn't his fault we lost the Vietnam War; it was the fault of those who decided to leave. This is great wisdom even though it comes from someone who was in a loser war. If you trace the Vietnam War to the exact moment we lost, it's when we left. Once we weren't there any longer, there was no chance to win. This is important to understand. So, having learned from Vietnam, I don't know why anyone would suggest we leave Iraq. That's a sure way to lose. Some say we need to leave because it's dangerous there, but, when I've talked to troops about leaving, they're like, "But then we'll lose! People died for this; we're not going to lose. You stop talking about leaving and losing!" Then I get punched, and that punch hurts because it's from someone trained how to punch by the military. Thus, we can't leave Iraq or we'll lose. Then our troops will be losers and I'll have to shout at them, "Hey! Losers!" And they'll be too sullen to punch me. Our military men and women deserve better. Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is a frequent contributor to IMAOPodcast.com. He is also the author of such books as "War and Peace: How to Choose" and "Hiroshima and Nagasaki: A Case Study on Why Not to Bomb Hawaii". My suggestion is to declare victory, then leave, thus assuring yourself of not losing. wiser words have never been spoken... in the last 5 minutes.
Darn right, despite the whinings of the press, those troops kicked NVA butts in every battle - even with both arms tied behind their backs by a bunch of weenie administrations that were afraid to make it look like they were trying too hard. The whole pullout philosophy reminds me of Monty Python: "Maybe if we run away faster, we'll confuse it, and it'll make a mistake." Like what?!! #3 - Posted by: Thursday on February 27, 2006 01:38 PMThe only point on which I beg to differ is that the point we lost the Vietnam war was wen we allowed the politicians to run the war instead of the generals. Notice a little similarity here? I'm not a Bush basher, but I'm waiting for him to let loose the forces so they can do what they do best, without having an arm and a leg tied behind their back (by the libs and the ACLU). Pull out? Yeah, only just before we shower the entire Middle East with thousands of megatons...nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark. It's a lot harder to hide in dark caves when you glow fosferecent green. #4 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on February 27, 2006 01:47 PMI can think of only one time that you can pull out and still call yourself a winner. #5 - Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony on February 27, 2006 01:51 PMIf you leave, don't look back. I'll be running the other way. #6 - Posted by: The League of Humanity on February 27, 2006 02:02 PMI say fuck politics...that's how we lost the Vietnam War......Stupid French supporting policy #7 - Posted by: ChaldoZach on February 27, 2006 02:22 PMI don't want to be a loser. I don't want to be in the same category as susan sarandon, whose career peaked with Rocky Horror Picture Show and has gone downhill ever since. I don't want to be thought of like michael moore, who tried so hard for the Tom Cruise look, but wound up looking like a homeless guy crashing a party. Let's just win and get it over with. #8 - Posted by: Madhun on February 27, 2006 02:56 PM"I was young; I didn't know any better" LOL! #9 - Posted by: slapout on February 27, 2006 02:57 PMI get it. THe left says Iraq is like Vietnam and that we should learn from our mistakes there. Their solution: A "pahsed withdrawl and Vietnamization oops I mean "turn things over to the Iraqis now". That worked so well last time, didn't it? #10 - Posted by: MDL on February 27, 2006 04:11 PMYou are on to something...or you're on something Frank... How come the dems. ALWAYS want to lose? #11 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 27, 2006 05:47 PMI learnt a similar lesson at university. Don't go dissing soccer. It can get quite violent, which is fun. And unlike football, you dont have to stop every playing every ten seconds like a bunch of pansies just because the ball touched the ground. #13 - Posted by: RightWingConspirator on February 27, 2006 08:03 PMHear, hear, RWC. Frank, fix your spelling errors! "The only war American lost"? "That's a sure was to lose"? Honestly! #14 - Posted by: Damian G. on February 27, 2006 09:49 PMWar is a battle of wills. Power is nothing without resolve. The true enemy of the US military, the only foe that could ensure defeat, is American liberalism. The Oracle I'm with you Frank, the idea of our troops being too sullen to punch you is just too horrible to contemplate.
But but but what if you are being chased by a bear? Then whomever runs away faster is the winner! #17 - Posted by: JoshG on February 28, 2006 09:39 AM"...'Hiroshima and Nagasaki: A Case Study on Why Not to Bomb Hawaii'." Why do I not glance away from IMAO every time I take a drnk? *cough cough* *sputter* #18 - Posted by: DesertElephant on February 28, 2006 03:39 PM to leave an active conflict says either you weren't serious about it anyway, or you don't have what it takes to FINISH IT........ WHAT are we waiting for!!? France to give us permission? "I can think of only one time that you can pull out and still call yourself a winner." -Dr. Phat Tony That was hilarious, Doc! #20 - Posted by: AlanABQ on March 4, 2006 01:34 PMPost a comment
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Stumble It!
An Editorial by Frank J."