Running a fascist state is harder than you think; in fact, most fascist states fail within the first decade. That's why I feel it important to point out obvious failings of the new fascist America to help keep it healthy and oppressive. The most blatant (and loud) problem right now is the improper silencing of dissenters.

 Honestly, my only experience with fascism is voting for Bush twice, but here is what I've observed. Obviously, speech is being oppressed, because we are constantly (and annoyingly) being told by liberals that their rights are being taken away and that dissent is being treated as treason. That might seem like a good start, but the problem is that people shouldn't explicitly be able to say that they're being oppressed. Everyone should know that already, and any who complains about it should be jailed or rounded up into camps for speaking out against the state. It's really a huge rookie fascist state mistake not to do that. While curtailing civil liberties is a must, it is also crucial to quiet those who complain about that.

 I know, you're probably wondering, "If we quiet everyone who complains about out fascist evil, how will anyone know what's being oppressed and thus what not to do?" That's a good question. If I were a BusHitler, I'd disappear a few dissenters without admitting to it publicly. Then, people will whisper about it and be scared. Yes, you could be more explicit about it, but, not admitting to your oppressive actions makes your state that much more mysterious and feared. If people aren't sure what evil oppression you are doing, it makes them that much more likely to fall into line since they can't even comprehend the menace they are up against. That's some strong fascism right there.

 The other question comes up is whether dissenters should be jailed or put into reeducation camps. In some ways, that's more a budgetary concern because camps can be more costly that just throwing someone in a dank hole and feeding him bread and water once a day. It's best to judge that on a person by person basis, though. For instance, you may really want to throw Cindy Sheehan in a dank hole, but since she's already so public, reeducation might work better. Actually, looking at Cindy's mental acuity, all I think it would take is a lunch break to brainwash her into saying how much she loves her son's sacrifice - and you'd still probably have time to finish off a tuna fish sandwich before going back out to crack the skulls of those who don't love The Government.

 Don't forget to shutdown websites critical of The Government as well. Again, here is a good place to instill some fear. First, take down The Democratic Underground and DailyKos, putting up some blatant lies that they failed to pay to renew their URLs and have been bought by The Government. Also, make sure to disappear anyone involved with those sites you can hunt down. This will be a very conspicuous taking out of those who speak ill of the new fascism while denying anything was done. Again, this will cause more fear to shut up the rest.

 Yes, fascism is hard, but I think I outlined a few simple steps to make things easier. And, though this itself could be seen as criticizing The Government, please don't secretly arrest me. Then again, you have to start somewhere.

Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is a frequent contributor to IMAOPodcast.com. He is also the author of such books as "Patriotism for Dummies" and "I Unconditionally Love Our Government and You Should Too (If You Know What's Good for You)".

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