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March 22, 2006
One kid. Two kid. Red kid. Blue kid.
Does your child complain constantly? Does she have pictures on her wall of Ann Coulter? Does your son threaten to go “nuh-ku-ler”? Congratulations – you have yourself a little conservative. Or at least, that’s the finding from a researcher from Berkeley (City Motto: We Don’t Have a City Motto Because They’re Fascist), California. To summarize the study: Some students were whiney and grew to become conservatives. Others had more of a ‘laissez fair’ attitude and grew to become individual strong liberals. (Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)
IMAO readers can be proud of the fact that IMAO bloggers pour over the data that others refuse to read because it may contain big words and have zero pictures. We then take this data and throw it away in favor simple words and immature drawings. (Which I’ll post later when my scanner works.) Here is yet another Fake But Accurate Summary of the researchers and their findings. The Berkeley Report: One kid. Two kid. Red kid. Blue Kid. Observation: Suzie complains to the teacher: “Billy’s making fun of my hair.” Observation: Suzie making fun of John’s “corn rows”. Observation: John asked the teacher’s permission to use the bathroom. Observation: Jimmy took a pee out the window.
Observation: Johnny insisted on eating his crayons. Observation: Jill let layer of glue dry on her palm. Then she peeled it off. Teachers Question: “Billy, what color is this?” Teacher’s Question: “Johnny, what color is this?” Observation: Little Jamal hits a lot of the kids. Observation: Johnny likes to pretend he’s a super hero. Observation: Bruce likes to pretend he’s a girl. Observation: George says “please” and “thank you” to his teacher. Observation: Roberto says nothing. Nothing all day. Observation: Moonbeam, wanders the hallways without a pass. Observation: Georgie painted a picture of Jesus using finger paint. Observation: Hilary painted a picture of Jesus using feces. ** We will strive to provide more of this crucial data to IMAO readers as it becomes available. I have to go now. I have Desperate Housewives on TiVo. I heard this last episode was steamy: they had laissez fair. 17 Responses To "One kid. Two kid. Red kid. Blue kid."
If they're not whiners, why are they protesting all the time? #1 - Posted by: Frank H. on March 22, 2006 04:19 PMFrank H: When they whine, it's "freedom of speech". #2 - Posted by: Pizwat on March 22, 2006 04:25 PMSo, essentially what they're saying is that Conservatives were smart/blessed enough to get all of the whineyness & childish complaining out of their systems at a young age, before they went out into the world, thus making it easier to be clear about beliefs & issues & get more accomplished. The children who were lax & didn't get the whineyness & complaints out of their systems at a young age now have all of this childish emotion bottled up inside that gets in the way of thinking things through or forming a coherent thoughts. Thanks Berkely, NOW I understand! #3 - Posted by: Splanky on March 22, 2006 04:36 PMWrong about Roberto. In California, he would have been placed in a "bilingual" (actually, Spanish-only) class simply for having the name Roberto, even if English were the only language that he spoke or understood. #4 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on March 22, 2006 04:50 PMMy kids must be Neo-Cons, because the only time they shut the hell up is when they're sleeping. #5 - Posted by: AlanABQ on March 22, 2006 05:20 PMMy sister has always been my opposite. She was always quiet, shy and timid as a child. She complained heavily and was a very finiky eater. She rarely had any friends and has been a loner pretty much her whole life. She now has some sort of severe bi-polar depressive disorder and will probably be living with my mother for most her life as she cannot function hardly at all on her own. She has aquired little real world experience, and her main knowledge set comes from California college professors and philosophy books. She tends to blame her problems on others. Did I mention she turned out to be a huge liberal? I, on the other hand, was very outgoing as a child (I can't really judge my whiny-ness objectively). I was a punker as a teen and all gung-ho about anarchy, was in trouble constantly and was pretty much a social deviant. Then I grew up. I realized that life was hard and that it would not take care of itself. I saw my friends parents, whom I used to think were the coolest parents ever, in a new light. They were irresponsible and consitently broke. They blamed all their problems on anything else they could think of and they all tended to be liberal. I finally figured out that only by taking responsibility for my life, regardless of circumstance, could I live it well. Yup, that's how it happens (at least in my experience). I've seen it happen with plenty of others tending towards one side or the other, and the key factor always seems to come down to the phrase that will strike fear into the hears of hippies and liberals alike: Personal Responsibility. There now, that didn't take a team of professors trying desperatly to use up an exorbitant budget. #6 - Posted by: LucidObscuity on March 22, 2006 05:45 PMChuck Norris once held an anti-government protest in Washington. At the news, the government was so terrified that it disbanded immediately and declared Chuck the new President. Though pleased, Chuck's only intent had been to lure in dirty hippies to kick their asses. Now you try telling Chuck Norris that he was a whiny introverted child. #7 - Posted by: LucidObscuity on March 22, 2006 05:58 PM//Observation: Hilary painted a picture of Jesus using feces. So Hillary has a history of fecal use from WAY back. This explains a lot. Why does Berkeley even *think* they have anything meaningful to say to the world anymore? Geez, I can't believe how deluded these morons are!! Why are my tax dollars going anywhere near to funding this crap??? #8 - Posted by: shimauma on March 22, 2006 06:55 PMTruly, my first thought when I heard the results of this stupid study was, Conservative might have been whiny as children but they grew out of it. Obviously the libs never grew up and so are still whining brats. As far as those being sure of themselves becoming liberals, that's probably true, as they never listen to or pay any attention to anything but themselves. One possible interpretation: Young conservative children realize when they're getting the shaft and speak out about it. Young liberal children think that asking to be treated fairly wouldn't be fair to others. #10 - Posted by: BigOrangeAxe on March 22, 2006 07:28 PMIF I woke up in Berzerkley, I think I'd cry like a baby. #11 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on March 22, 2006 07:57 PMThank God my (conservative) son's application to the physics Phd program at Berkley was turned down. Plenty of other schools said yes. One less thing to worry about. Wolfman Dan, "Berzerkley". LOL. You rock. #12 - Posted by: Sandan on March 22, 2006 09:56 PMThink about it. Children tend to follow their parents as role models on politics and so on. If you were raised by conservatives in the Berkeley area, wouldn't YOU be paranoid and short fused? On the other hand, if your parents act as if they live in the best of all possible worlds, wouldn't you be inclined to think the same? It's kind of like that whole "ten percent of everyone is gay" thing. Apparently people who attend sexual research lectures in NYC represent the norm of the human race throughout history. The kid study would only be valid if it had samples from other areas and a sample size much larger than the one depicted. #13 - Posted by: Kent on March 22, 2006 10:33 PMFrom page 12 of the study: "Shifting now to the nursery school findings, the conservatives of both genders were characterized by their then teachers in psychologically unflattering terms" In other words, these early 1970's Berkeley social science majors (you know who we're talking about here right?) have already figured out who the conservative kids are and are already out to get them. How are they viewed? Lets look at the "unflattering terms" they used: - Favors conservative values In other words, a little girl who thinks she is a pretty girl (as opposed to the "Is self-dramatizing; histrionic" drama queen) is an uptight prude. With these wacko's asking a lot of personal questions, there's no wonder a few of the conservatives turned out a little touchy when they got older. Anyhow, the study only followed 95 of the orgininal 128 kids. A smart conservative would get the heck out of there and not leave a forwarding address. So what kind of men live in Berkley these days anyway? LOL! I'm not into Brokeback California... #15 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on March 23, 2006 05:49 AMI just realized that this could very well be what's behind the A.D.D. movement of the last 15 years. The liberals teaching in public school complain that the whiny tattle tale children are attention deficit, and get the parents to put them on life threatening drugs to mess the child's mind up even more or at least make sure they don't make it to voting age. Since the libs are all commiting abortion on each other, they need to recruit fresh young minds and they want to weed out the kids that are too dependant on tradition and authority by making them dependant on mind altering drugs. I smell conspiracy here. #16 - Posted by: shimauma on March 23, 2006 08:48 AMI'm an adoptive foster parent. I do have one red kid (who wants to be a Marine) and one blue kid (who wants to be a musician/social worker). I wouldn't classify either of them as whiny, but the red one is definitely more self-confident, more independent, and more sure of himself. #17 - Posted by: V the K on March 23, 2006 03:06 PMPost a comment
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