I'm glad we have some hard hitting reporters at IMAO.

RightWingDuck is Mexican?!

I see, that's why Kerry lost the Veggie Tales vote. Bob and Larry just wouldn't stand for his crap.

What ever happened to just eating what's on the menu?

I'm more than just a token writer..

I'm a token friend.

RWD

Providing diversity since 2005.

Wow, he even waffles on celery - "I hated celery before I liked it."

Waffles on celery - the new breakfast treat!

Unfortunately, the length of the post makes it much less likely that folks will scroll down to FrankJ's little satire. Hmmmm Long snarky Kerry-slap, already featured on Drudge vs. original satire on the Religion of Peas. Oh, that's easy, go with the snark every time.

Drudge failed to provide sharp and brilliant analysis on the issue.

I have.

Therefore, Drudge is my bitch.

//Therefore, Drudge is my bitch.//

LOL!!! Love it, wish you would do the same to NBC, CBS, and CNN...get 'em Lair!!!

Maybe he just doesn't support the Francos.

"Unfortunately, the length of the post makes it much less likely that folks will scroll down to FrankJ's little satire."

True IMAOians will always scroll down to Frank J.'s little satires. Sheesh.

The first two pages are Kerry's and the second two are for his wife.

Shhhhhh, bgrx! It's more fun this way!

Aren't the celery and tomatoes for Kerry's wife?

Hmmm, I don't think that it's a problem saying the last two pages are for his wife. The fact that Kerry won't have anything to do with the product that supports his gigolo lifestyle is interesting...I say: Eat the tomatos, keptboy! You have to dance with the vegetable that bought you.

Perhaps you don't know the whole story. If you did, you might be more sympathetic toward John's apparent dislike for celery. Ya see, when John Kerry was in Vietnam for his grueling three month tour of duty, he had a rather traumatic experience.

One night, while on duty, Kerry thought he saw a rich widow sitting outside a hut at the edge of a rice patty. John quickly ordered the crew of his swift boat to turn the vessel toward shore. As the bow of the boat struck the soft mud, Kerry lunged from its deck. Landing in the dark earth, he began to run toward the swarthy woman, yelling his standard lines: "Me John Kerry. Love you longtime. Five million dollars. Sucky, sucky."

The woman didn't move, nor did she respond. She merely gaized at Kerry with her sullen eyes. Kerry drew nearer and nearer, and it wasn't until he drew very close to the woman that he realized his predicament. It had been a set-up all along. The woman had appeared to have been sitting alongside a grass hut. But, as he reached the woman he realized that his worst fears had been realized. What first appeared to be a hut was, in fact, a huddled mass of giant celery stalks.

The beating was unmerciful, the shreeks of a small girl ringing out, echoing through the hillside, eminating from John, as the vicious celery had their way with him. Yes, the woman had indeed been a plant (parden the pun). She wasn't a widow, she wasn't rich. But poor John didn't know that. He would learn a scarring lesson that day on the battlefield.

After those celery stalks got him in the end he was a different man. He would no longer shower with fruit. He made sure to never be alone in the room with vegetables. And, like his other heroic war efforts, John refused to ever speak publicly about his bravery unless there was a chance it might gain him votes. And so, you see, that is why John has trouble dealing with celery to this day. So sad. So very sad.