There's been a lot of talk about illegal immigration lately and after hearing the arguments, I have to say that the Democrats make sense on this one. This great country should be grateful to illegal aliens because after all, didn't they build this country?

You might be wondering, “Well then who built Mexico - That place is a crap hole." Yes, but Mexico was built by illegal aliens from Guatemala. Then Mexico got better about enforcing its borders and drove them out.

I'm grateful to illegal aliens because they help keep the cost of American products low. Because of them, we can pay Pedro $10.00 a day to work in a restaurant. If he wasn't there, they'd have to raise the wages to find somebody willing to take on the job. So when I'm sitting in a restaurant that's reflective of my great blogging stature, and they warn me that they may have to raise prices, I have to ask myself: "Am I willing to pay FOUR dollars for this Happy Meal?"

Maybe it's one of the signs of the End Times, but I have to say I agree with Ted Kennedy.

Recently, Teddy claimed that it was unfair to have these illegal aliens treated as second class citizens. You might be wondering, "How can they be any kind of American citizen. They're from another country!!!

That's where you'd be wrong: citizenship doesn't come from birthright or by arriving here legally, going through the process and reciting an oath - it comes from gainful employment.

Think of it as an employment perk. Every worker is entitled to free paperclips, rubber bands, and Second Class United States Citizenship. At some places you even get free pens.

We also have to examine our sense of compassion. These people come from a land where people are starving and no work is available in their land. That makes sense to me. So YES, I agree with Senator Ted Kennedy when he says that these people, by virtue of their work, should not be deported. They should be given a path to citizenship.

However, if employment is the source of citizenship, then we have to face the ugly truth: it's time America did something about all of the poor people in this country. And the only fair and logical thing to do is: Deport them.

This may not be a popular idea, since they provide the most needed resource America needs in these trying times, Democratic votes, but the reality is we don't need them. It cost thousands of dollars to feed and clothe a poor family on welfare - not to mention the high cost of government housing.

When you really look at it, being poor is a job skill you can pretty much do anywhere. So why NOT send them to Mexico?

Please don't think I'm cruel. I wouldn't want them to go against their will so we'd have to fool them into moving to Mexico. This would be easy since most of these people don't have the sense to run away from a hurricane.

Popular marketing strategies would include:

"Look, no white people! Move to Mexico."

"Hey, free food! Bring your appetite and your family. And your furniture. Move to Mexico."

And the most popular...

"If you don't do something now, George Bush is going to draft your kids. Move to Mexico."

You might be wondering, "Wouldn't the Mexican government object to having these people on their land?" Of course not - because Mexico would know that these poor people came from a land where they were starving and there was no work available for them.

Eventually, they would have to make some changes. Government forms would have to be in English and in some cases - Ebonics. But otherwise, they would be delighted to begin bilingual classes, provide Mexican benefits, and free government healthcare. If we can take care of their poor, then certainly they could take care a few of ours, right?

Another part of this plan is that we'd have to seal the border once and for all. We couldn't have our new Second Class Citizens trying to sneak back to Mexico and clean houses for the American poor. And we also couldn't have the American poor coming back because then I'd have to pay big bucks for a Happy Meal.

If you like my idea, then please nominate me for President of the United States. I'm over 35 and a natural born citizen.

If you don't like my idea then it's only fitting you should track me down and give me a piece of your mind. I live in Mexico. You should come down here. it's really nice. You could bring your family.

And your furniture.

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