Dear Editor Ducky:

You suck.

Meh, that was harsh and mean. Sorry. Happy birthday.

So, you want our questions that we have for the Times, eh? Alright, here's mine:

Are you really run by the VRWC, and are just employing people like Morreen (spl?) Dowd and Paul Krugman as an undercover plan to make liberals look bad?

Seriously:

Dear Editor Ducky,
Why does anyone think that people who have entered this country illegally will obey any of the other laws that govern our country?
(the answer, as you know is that they won't and don't. Children have ditched school and destroyed property just in the last several days, all of which is against the law.")
Happy natal day!

Dear Editor Ducky,

Did it hurt? ...when you fell from heaven, did it hurt?

Dear Editor Ducky,

Who is Jayson Blair's replacement? Does he know how to spell Jason?

'Si, Si Se Puede'

Yes, Yes It Can

huh?

Dear Editor Ducky,

If John Kerry and Al Gore got into a slap fight who would win and why? Could Aquaman take either one of them?

Por Favor, Senor Editor Ducko,

Why is it that if the name of a spy's wife who works for the CIA gets leaked, we have to have all kinds of special investigators, prosecutors, etc. Yet SeeMore Hersch (is it just me or does that name sound like the noise someone makes when they vomit?) can go tell the world that we're fixin' to nuke Iran (a few years late IMHO. or IMAO) and the NYT gives him a parade down Broadway?

Dear Ducky Editor,

Why do we allow the slaughter of innocent trees to allow the NY Times to continue? can't we force them to chisle comments into rocks or something?

Why are hybrid cars so gay?

And happy birthday.

How do we know there ever really was a Jason Blair? After all, he only appeared in the Times.

Dear Editor Duck,

Is it true that the food and water stations in the Arizona desert are free fire zones?

Happy Birthday too!

Dear Editor Ducky,

Happy Birthday?

Followup; Could the US adopt a policy that allows a certain number of illegal aliens stay as long as Mexico accepts disgruntled Hollywood pinheads? For example, two hundred people can stay, but Ben Affleck must move to Juarez. And how many people in exchange for Barbra Streisand?

Dear Editor Ducky,

Now that we have them all rounded up in numerous large gatherings, why aren't we locking them up by the truck loads?

Dear Duck Dude:

Why is it that nobody ever sees you and Aquaman at the same time?

DAMN!! Strnj1 stole my question.

Hmmm.

Dear Editor Ducky,

Why don't the extreme Aztlan supporters just annex SOUTH AMERICA? or Narnia?

(...'cause see Aztlan sounds like Aslan...)

I will ask you the same qeustion that I ask the many liberals I have to talk to. Why? THey never seem to have a satisfactery answer funny how that is.
Also felis nanos banonos ah hell hhappy birthday.

Quantos anos tiene?

Dear doctor, I mean editor Ducky,
Can we get justice for all?

Get a job, white trash. Take one of the jobs the mexicans are doing.

Dear Editor Ducky:

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy friends for her? Is she actually a moonbat in disguise?

Dear editor Ducky,
If all of those latinos are marching around in support of your glorious birthday, couldnt you just invite them all to a party in Mexico? They would surely be honored to recieve such an invitation,and would all march gladly to the Mexican city of your choice. You wouldnt have to show up, and they wouldnt have to come back.
...Just a thought.

sincerely,
-S

Dear Editor Ducky,

Are you related to Donald, Daffy, & Daisy Duck?

Dearest Ed.,

I just got some Pop-Tarts out of the machine here at work and the date on the back of the package says "BETTER IF USED BEFORE"

Why does it say "USED" and not "EATEN"? Besides food (and FrankJ's secret fetish), how many possible uses for strawberry Pop-Tarts could there be?

Dear Editor Ducky,

Why do you keep changing your name? Are you unsatisfied with who you are as a person? Is this another sign of IMAO blogger latent homosexuality?

On another note, why does the NYT only publish information fit to spin? Print, spin, spin, print, spit...

Dear Editor Ducky,
Why can't we all just be friends?

?Yo haber cocer mi pato....que solo violar estomago con diario? Impressed? Simplemente, Barropescar

Dear Editor Ducky,

In the IMAO movie, who is going to play the bad guy (ie, the editor of the New York Times)?

Dear Rightwing Duck,

Do you know Darkwing Duck? Can you get me an autograph?

Dear Editor Ducky,Do you not live near a port?FrankJ has been trying to send you a boat load of money for some time.

Sorry,it occurred to me that was maybe not as funny as intended.

That's okay, DohXs. I've gathered it's kind of the role of the commenters on this blog to kind of play the foil of Frank J. and be dense numbskulls who must've wound up on the wrong side of the political spectrum by taking a wrong turn at the "Political Socialization: Get Your Propaganda Here" sign.

... I'm a prime example.

Dear Editor Ducky,
It appears the government is going to put Frankj's dream to the test and "nuke" it. Will this be the end of the podcast?

Dear Ducky:
What if the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about?

Dear Duckitor Eddy Vetter:

When Jeremy spoke in class, was he in Spokane, Spokane cla-ass today?

Also, a follow-up: do topical references to popular music ever lose their currency?

One more follow-up: How much love would a muskrat love if a muskrat could musk love?

Wait. Muskrats do musk love. Ergo "musk."

I withdraw the questions.

Dear Editor Ducky:

I have been approached by one of my friends about becoming am Martyr for my cause, and he gave me the advantages of doing so, that whole paradise thing with the 72 virgins as a reward. Since my sexual leanings are toward the same sex will there be 72 young men waiting for me or am I stuck with the 72 Virgins?

The guy who WROTE The Hokey Pokey passed away last month, at 97. Things were going pretty smoothly at the funeral home, until they tried to put his left foot in the casket ... then everything just went terribly wrong ...