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April 11, 2006
The Solution to the Immigration Problem with Mexico Is a Communist Overthrow
An Editorial by Frank J.
Posted by Frank J. at 12:41 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (17)

 Many people are trying to sneak out of Mexico into America. This is very understandable, because, if someone suddenly threw me in Mexico, I would probably sneak in here too. I'm not good with geography, so I don't know what country is south of Mexico and would be scared to sneak over there... as I bet are many Mexicans! The only problem is that America is just not set up to deal with that many Mexicans. Mexico has dealt with large numbers of Mexicans for a long time now and are simply better prepared for that. So how do we stop so many people coming here from Mexico?

"Your country sucking isn't enough to get refugee status."

 The main idea is to improve conditions in Mexico so people arenít so desperate to leave, but let's think outside of the box for a minute. What if we made things worse in Mexico? You'd think that would cause more people to flee, but not if we make it bad enough.

 Now, I've known many immigrants in my day, and they were all smart, hard-working people... people we're glad to steal from other countries. Those immigrants were all from China, Cuba, Vietnam, or the former Soviet Union. So what is similar with those countries? Yes, they're all Communist. If Communism has taught us anything, it's that it makes great American immigrants.

 Communist countries really suck, but they also won't let people leave. Everyone is supposed to love their stupid "dictatorship of the proletariat" or they'll be executed. Since it's so hard to leave those countries, only the smartest, most determined people will make it out alive. And what happens when they come here through improper channels? They're declared "refugees" because they're escaping oppression. Mexicans are just escaping a sucky country, and your country sucking isn't enough to get refugee status. But, if youíre country was Communist, hey, letís help set you up in America, you poor bastards.

 So, obviously, overthrowing the Mexican government and replacing it with a Communist regime is a super fantastic idea. Now, how to do that isn't exactly my expertise, but maybe you Mexicans should just start talking about the dissolution of private property and hopefully hotter heads will prevail. When you strike, I'd recommend doing it during siesta because no one will expect it. If Vicente Fox gets all angry as you execute him for being part of the bourgeois, just remind him that he had supported the plight of illegal immigrants in the past, and this is what needs to be done.

 When itís all over, we should have a nice Communist dictatorship south of us closed to the outside world, and, if that doesn't solve a ton of problems, I don't know what can.

Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as "Stealing Ideas from Your Wife: She's Useful for Other Things than Cooking, Cleaning, and... You Know" and "The Communist Guide to Weight Loss".

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