About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

April 18, 2006
American Idol 5 top 7
Posted by sarahk at 08:47 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (9)

I'm not excited about tonight's show. I love Rod Stewart (yes, I think you're sexy), but this lot is the most disappointing lot of contestants we've had. Plus, it's standards under the guidance of Rod Stewart (standards are my favorite kind of songs, but no one does them well on American Idol), not Rod Stewart songs. Seriously, I'm more excited about separating my handful of Nerds candies by color before I eat them than I am about this top 7. Blah.

Oh wow, look at that cute baby that Rod Stewart fathered! Wow, what a precious baby!

Uh oh. They're putting Chris in the dreaded #1 spot.

IDOLS 01... Chris is breaking away from rock and doing "What a Wonderful World". *sigh* That was the last dance at our wedding reception, so it's going to be hard to beat this even before he opens his mouth. He's singing absolutely beautifully. Simon's going to say he hated it, because Chris should have stuck with rock. Watch and see. Wow, that was lovely, he's renewing my faith in the show, I'm most definitely voting for him. WHOA! SIMON IS CLAPPING FOR CHRIS! Ok, I'm eating my words here. Thank goodness, Chris got rid of the eyeliner, and Ryan noticed. Ryan, I appreciate that you read my stuff. I'll stop making gay jokes about you (you know I meant those in good fun, right? My good fun, if not ours). BTW, Chris, if you're coloring in your eyebrows, please stop. Loved the outfit, even the tuxish vest with the rock pants and wallet chain.

IDOLS 02... Paris is singing "These Foolish Things". This is a good song for her. She's dressed very grown-up tonight, and I'm so happy she's not wearing pleather. A'ight, that was out of tune in a few spots. It was ok but boring, and at the end I thought she was going to bring it home and make me love it, but the whole song was a little too demure. I know standards are practically demure by definition, but that wasn't a stage performance. Randy says it was perfectly on pitch, but I don't think he'll say that when he watches it back. Paula loved it, Simon loved it. We were kinda "eh" on it, even Frank, and he almost always loves Paris.

IDOLS 03... Taylor is singing "You Send Me". Rod Stewart just said grab the audience by the balls, and AI bleeped him. Taylor is reminding me of Elvis more every week, and that is not a good thing in my book. Ok, the first half was Elvisy, but the second half was fantastic.

Before the break, Ryan mentions that up next we have two people who look like a prom date standing there. Pan over to Elliott and Kellie. Yeah, Ryan, that dress has way too much cloth to be Kellie's prom dress.

IDOLS 04... Elliott is doing "It Had to Be You", which is the song Frank and I walked out of the chapel to after the ceremony. Kris did such a great job on piano. Elliott looks good in jeans and tux jacket. There was one pitchy phrase, but I really liked it. It was a great song for him, he should do standards all the time. Paula's right, he did actually remind me of Harry Connick Jr., so much that I kept waiting for him to bust out like Harry Connick on the "Some others I've seen might never be mean..." part.

[STILL WAITING FOR MONKEYS TO FLY OUT OF WAYNE CAMPBELL'S BUTT]... Kellie is doing "Bewitched, ButcheredBothered, and Bewildered". Rod keeps mentioning her personality and not her vocals. "Well, you took a load off my chest." ROFL, she's wearing a saLmon-colored dress. The first half was actually very good, and I was all ready to give her props. Then she sang the second half, and it was as horrible as Paula's seal-clap after happy hour. Even Kellie says she butchered it, and hey, at least she told the truth. LOL, Paula just said she can't wait for Kellie's acting career to start. That makes me laugh. Anyway, Simon says it was just bewildered and that it wasn't great. Paula, of course, just says Kellie looks great, which means the vocals were bad. Honestly, it was only the second half that was bad. When she went up into that nasal twang near the end, I shrieked in pain.

ROFLMPTO!! Kevin sent me the following graphic, and I got the email before Kellie performed but just now opened it.

butcherPICKLER.jpg

IDOLS 06... Ace borrowed a suit from Ryan and slicked his hair back and put it in... IS THAT A BUN IN HIS HAIR? I CAN'T EVEN LISTEN TO HIS SINGING TO TELL Y'ALL IF IT SUCKS, BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE AN AU PAIR WITH THAT BUN. He may officially be replacing Kellie as my AI muse. Anyway, we're rewinding to hear it, because I wasn't listening the first time. He's singing "That's All". Don't you know you can't sing an ironically-titled song on AI, or you'll always get the boot? Ouch, there's some nose-singing. And there's the falsetto, but I actually think it's good here and not overdone. There are Paula and Randy saying that his falsetto is his money. I disagree, but I can't complain about it tonight.

IDOLS 07... Katharine is singing "Someone to Watch Over Me", which is a perfect song for her. I just hope she doesn't go boring with it. She's born to sing standards, so this should be good. Is she wearing Paris's earrings? She looks pretty good. Her voice is so well-trained. She added some flair, didn't go safe and boring, I'm happy. This was beautiful. High praise from the judges, too. Finally.

I'd like everyone to note: Kellie is the only one that all three judges went negative on. Here's the thing about standards: vocals are always very exposed when you sing a standard. So if you can't carry a tune in a bucket, it will show. They should have standards night every year to weed out the awfuls.

And I'll say: tonight was so much better than the previous few weeks. Maybe there's hope yet.

So, the order, vocally, tonight...

Katharine**
Chris**
Taylor**
Elliott**
Ace
Paris
Kellie

So the bottom 3 will be Elliott, Paris, Kellie (I know I'm hoping against hope here, but come onnnnn.). I actually think Ace will be safe this week, and Elliott will be in the bottom 3 even though he shouldn't be. Paris was forgettable. Kellie started good then got awful, and even the judges couldn't praise it. Kellie should go but will probably stick around another week or two. Who goes home? This is a hard one, because Ace wasn't bad. I'm gonna say Paris goes.

Rating: 3.1/5 (7 votes cast)

SarahK's TV stuff
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933