(Via J-Walk)

Well, it looks like the land of the virulently anti-Semitic Mahathir The Moonbat is looking to go to the moon, so-to-speak. But with a space program comes serious, important scientific issues:

How do Muslim astronauts pray in space? Malaysia's National Space Agency is holding a conference to consider such questions as the country prepares to send its first citizen into orbit.

A nationwide competition in the majority-Muslim country has narrowed the field to four astronaut candidates, three of whom are Muslims.

Two will eventually be trained and sent into space by Russia, and Malaysia's space agency - or Angkasa - said it had been scratching its head over how Muslim rituals could be carried out properly.

Performing ablutions for Muslim prayers with water rationing in space and preparing food according to Islamic standards will be among issues discussed, said Angkasa's director-general, Mazlan Othman.

Other complications with Muslim astronauts:

• Beheading an infidel with a sword is complicated by the complex locking-collar on most spacesuit helmets.

• Constantly worried about Allah's aim when he hurls stars at devils (Sura 67:5)

• Tang is not halal. (But it does make excellent body-paint)

• Please do not use the AE-35 antenna as a spit for roasting goats. Pretty-please?

• Nice beard. Don't feel obligated to take on air filter cleaning duty, mind you, but it really would be appreciated.

• They use up way too much room in the Sick Bay with all the Filipino and Indian maids they brought along and constantly beat up and rape.

• Um... that's the floor and that's the wall. And that's the "Emergency Airlock Release" button you've covered up with your prayer mat that you keep cycling when you hit your forehead against it.

• The Palestinian flight-controller keeps wanting to change the rocket's course to make it smash into Sderot, Israel

• Those PhD's in Astrophysics, Flight Medicine and Engineering are impressive and might be useful when combined with your many hours of training and excellent physical condition. But tell me again: who's cousin in the Royal Family are you?

• For the last time, those solar panels are Dutch, not Danish. Now quit screaming about cartoons and smashing them or you're going out the airlock.

• About that Israeli boycott - you're gonna laugh - you might want to take a look at those oyxgen tanks on your back.

I'm sure they'll work all of this out.

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