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May 09, 2006
Thank God It's a Two-Party System
Kos had his readers come up with a Republican slogan for the 2006 election. I didn't read any, because I figured they would be asinine, but why don't we give it a shot: * "Because your only other choice is the Democrats." * "We admit it; we have a culture of corruption. Help reelect us, and we'll cut you in." * "No, seriously, are you actually considering to vote for a Democrat?" * "Who needs a slogan; Dieblold will rig things for us." * "Come on; we could burn down your house and still be a million times better choice than the Democrats." * "We've gotten so fat and lazy with our power, we're not even going to bother with a slogan." * "Whoever came up with the phrase 'lesser of two evils' is a genius." * "Oh yeah... we do have to motivate you to the polls somehow. How about you elect us, and we'll consider doing something about illegal immigration?" What's your idea for the 2006 Republican slogan (we'll do the Dems later). Put it in the comments, yo! 40 Responses To "Thank God It's a Two-Party System"
As a longtime allergy sufferer, I can only support the Republicans with the following slogan: "Burn down the environment, for a better tomorrow." Alternately, I could support "Pissing off hippies, one forest fire at a time." #2 - Posted by: Mac on May 9, 2006 09:09 AMHarry Reid Vote Republican, at least we HAVE a party platform, which for a bonus doesn't change everytime Hillary Clinton changes her underwear. #3 - Posted by: seanmahair on May 9, 2006 09:13 AM"At least the press keeps track of our corruption" #4 - Posted by: B's Freak on May 9, 2006 09:27 AM"If the left hates us, it's because we're doing something right!" #5 - Posted by: Mac on May 9, 2006 09:36 AMHillary changes her underwear? #6 - Posted by: SicSemperTyrannus on May 9, 2006 09:44 AMVote Republican. At least we have not come completely unhinged and we are not dirty smelly hippies. #7 - Posted by: on May 9, 2006 09:50 AMWe're Republicans, we won't talk about Hillary!'s underwear. Vote Republican, we will spend your tax dollars just as fast as the democrats but we'll make you think God is on our side while we are doing it...and we are the party of Duke Cunningham! What more could you want! sigh...I'm a Republican by the way... #11 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 9, 2006 10:33 AMAnd thanks to the weisenhiemer that came up with the "Hillary's Underwear" deal, I have a very nasty picture BURNED into my brain and I can't erase it and I think I'm going to need therapy! THANKS! #12 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 9, 2006 10:36 AM* Because your only other choice is Hillery* * We may be crazy, but at least we're not insane* *?Habla Engles?* *Because our SUV's can crush your puny hybreds!* *Because we have all the guns!* *We smell better than hippies!* #13 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on May 9, 2006 10:52 AM"Tsst!" "Use dominance, not aggression. It must learn that the djimicrat is not to be tampered with." "Tsst!" #14 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on May 9, 2006 10:59 AMVote Republican... because we all know that only old, dead, gay, tree humping, felons vote Democrat. #15 - Posted by: shane on May 9, 2006 11:11 AMVote Republican or face the Great White Hunter. #16 - Posted by: Ron Rockstar on May 9, 2006 11:28 AMVote Republicans. Doing the work other American political parties won't do -- like protecting the nation from terrorists, letting you keep more of your own money to spend as you wish, and confirming judges that actually follow the Constitution as written. #17 - Posted by: kalthalior on May 9, 2006 12:13 PMVote Republican: Because, (I don't know if you guys noticed) the economy STILL gets better and more people have jobs when Republicans are in charge, and the absolute true fact of life is...MONEY rules EVERYTHING. #18 - Posted by: shimauma on May 9, 2006 12:40 PMBecause OUR voters actually know how polling booths operate. We win through popular vote, not by crying in court. We don't cry on Ophra...we just get even. At least we've figured how pants are supposed to be worn...above the butt! Your last line of defense from socializm. #19 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on May 9, 2006 12:49 PMVote Republican: Because if Ted Kennedy's head gets any bigger it'll throw the tides off. #20 - Posted by: coleman063 on May 9, 2006 12:51 PMMy slogan is- Its not that we're that good its just that Democrats are that bad! #21 - Posted by: free0352 on May 9, 2006 01:18 PM"Vo..."not now, Karl. "Vote Re..."what? More emphasis, Tony? Alright. "Vote Repub..."(phone rings) Yeah? Oh, hi Bill! Yeah. Yeah. Nope, I was just working on our slogan for '06 midterms. What? Ok. After the summer recess. Of course. Bye. "Vote Republi..."(Treo rings) Hi Wayne. Yes, I know. Yes. Yes. Well, no! HR 1288 & 4587? 4547? DOA, Wayne. Well, look. Well. I mean- Yeah. OK, Maybe. Maybe next session, Wayne, k bu-bye. (stands & strectches) Folks, can we break for lunch? Got a 12:30 down at Mc & Schmicks. Great, see you all back here around 3:30! (3:47) "Vote Republican. Because no one knows what the hell you're talking about when you say 'moderate libertarian.'" #22 - Posted by: beemereater on May 9, 2006 01:43 PMJust TRY to look in the mirror and, without rolling your eyes, say the words: "Speaker Pelosi" #23 - Posted by: FormerHostage on May 9, 2006 01:45 PM
Meh, go for it... vote for the Green Party. #25 - Posted by: Trendy on May 9, 2006 02:30 PMVote Republican: We'll turn Iran into a radioactive mirror. And ussjc - be thankful that the thread was Hillary's underwear and not Hillary without underwear or the mental picture could have been a lot worse. #26 - Posted by: Moneyman on May 9, 2006 02:51 PM"Vote Republican, or our Vice President will shoot you in the face!" "Vote Republican, or we'll let a Kennedy drive you to the polls!" "Vote Republican - we only want to allow living illegal aliens to vote!" #27 - Posted by: Master Shake on May 9, 2006 02:55 PM"Vote Republican - our concept of 'choice' includes life!" "Vote Republican, or face manditory botox injections in honor of Speaker Pelosi!" "Vote Republican - we don't support NAMBLA!" SHIMAUMA- W Rules Everything, and Jesus Rules W. Get it right, please. And, by the way, what did you use to buy that stoopid pro-abortion bumper sticker, right next to your "Save the Seals" sticker? Hippie marijuana sticks? No, MONEY, baby! #29 - Posted by: Bilbo on May 9, 2006 03:04 PM"Vote Republican - or are you such a nancy boy that you do whatever your union boss tells you?" "Vote Republican - we want to imprison criminals, not give them the vote!" "Vote Republican - we may have a culture of corruption, but they have a culture of treason!" #30 - Posted by: Master Shake on May 9, 2006 03:09 PMThanks, Moneyman...but somehow I have this picture of "herself" with men's briefs on...XL over those very hefty thighs and I can't clear the mechanism! Very ugly indeed! #31 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 9, 2006 03:48 PMThe Republican Party - We want what's worst for terrorists. #32 - Posted by: ZK on May 9, 2006 03:57 PMFrank, you need to write for the new Glenn Beck program on TV. He needs help, and your slogans are hilarious. #33 - Posted by: mountain mama on May 9, 2006 06:18 PMBilbo, you idiot, I'm a Pro Life Republican...I just happen to appreciate the practicality of Money. This not a troll train to Jump on so I'd suggest you Fark Off! #34 - Posted by: shimauma on May 9, 2006 07:32 PMHow bout this: Vote Republican or learn Persian your choice. #36 - Posted by: Leo on May 9, 2006 08:17 PMLive straight or die #38 - Posted by: Me on May 10, 2006 08:52 AMRepublicans: at least we occsionally give you the courtesy of a reacharound. Republicans: now with 43% less cooties. Republicans: our mistakes go home, theirs stay on Capitol Hill for ever. #39 - Posted by: Gregg the obscure on May 10, 2006 10:32 AM"The Democratic Party: Michael Moore, Al Franken, Barbra Streisand...and you?" #40 - Posted by: Son of Bob on May 10, 2006 04:43 PMPost a comment
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