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May 10, 2006
Vote for the Greater of Two Evils!
So what are some ideas for the Democrat's slogan for 2006? Here are mine: * Elect us, and we promise to finally come up with an agenda... and it will be good! * If you give us power, we'll whine a lot less. * Assaulting police officers, ramming barricades... who knows what wackiness your congressional Dems will do next! * You only get to find out our secret plans if we get elected. * If Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are in charge, the terrorists will decide that America is too pointless to attack. * Felons and dead people love us, why don't you? * You've see us Democrat politicians! We don't have job skills for any real work! Please, we have family and mistresses to feed! Whatever their slogan is, they better make sure to have a Spanish translation (or, more likely, they'll need an English translation). Put your own ideas in the comments! 48 Responses To "Vote for the Greater of Two Evils!"
The Democrats: Sure we're wrong, but we're wrong for the right reasons. #1 - Posted by: Remulak MoxArgon on May 10, 2006 11:25 AMBuilding a softer, more effeminate governing body to assuage the delicate sensibilities of the American castrati since 1968. (too long?) Elect us and we'll protect you from Manbearpig. (stamps tiny foot in impotent ire) I'm serial! We'll solve the Middle East crisis with long hugs and tea parties. How's about we throw Geena Davis into the mix? (upside-down !)Viva la Raza! Two hybrids in every driveway, two pricey designer dogs in every home. Come see why our culture of corruption is way better than theirs. #2 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on May 10, 2006 11:30 AMDemocrats: simply fabulous. Democrats: we know better. Appeasement, depravity, taxation, regulation, malaise: what's not to like? Combining the competence of the Carter administration and the effectiveness of LBJ with the deviousness and deviance of the Kennedeys and Bill Clinton: who else but Democrats? It's time to make politics much more scary - Democrats. #3 - Posted by: on May 10, 2006 11:35 AMDemocrats: because our Presidents are more understanding about adultery than others. Democrats: Because green is a pretty color... Democrats: Because China NEEDS our secrets. #4 - Posted by: shimauma on May 10, 2006 11:46 AMHillary 2008: Because it's the seriousness of the government that's more important than the truthfulness of it. #5 - Posted by: Redneck on May 10, 2006 11:48 AMSocialism can't be started without your vote. $100 a barrel oil can't happen unless we're there for you. If you want the French to be on our allies, vote Democrat 2008. Vote Democrat because we're tired of losing to chickenhawks, dangit! #6 - Posted by: Redneck on May 10, 2006 11:51 AMIncompetent leadership? You ain't seen nothin' yet! "Margle farl (urp!) da Repulifuzzles (hic!) an' bupargafubba da PEEPUL!" - Ted Kennedy #8 - Posted by: The Sik1 on May 10, 2006 12:07 PMRescue America from prosperity - vote Democrat You owe us two elections - vote Dem Give Hillary the title that she should have had in '92 Vote for us because Al Gore can almost make Howard Dean look sane! Democrat - It's not as stupid as it sounds Vote for us because Nancy Pelosi actually DOES have a monkey face! #9 - Posted by: Moneyman on May 10, 2006 12:09 PMThe Democrats: It's our turn to impeach somebody! The Democrats: When you absolutely, positively have to screw up a free market overnight, we're here to help. Going in the same fiscal direction as the Republicans, only going much, much faster! #11 - Posted by: K T Cat on May 10, 2006 12:32 PMTired of the incessant whining coming out of Washington. Vote Dem- Republicans don't whine when they lose. Because Oldsmobiles don't crash on their own. #13 - Posted by: Writer on May 10, 2006 01:13 PMWar, Famine, Pestilence. In other words, more of the same. (Now in new Iran(tm) Flavor!) Vote Republican in '06 #14 - Posted by: Anonymous Non-Ronin on May 10, 2006 01:21 PM* Elect us, and we promise to finally come up with an agenda... and it will be good! * You only get to find out our secret plans if we get elected. Those two have already been tried. #15 - Posted by: Veeshir on May 10, 2006 01:22 PMLet the babies have their bottle - Vote Democrat. The Democratic Party - Because dumb monkey faces aren't just for punching! Vote Democrat. ...please? We're dyin' out here! The Democratic Party - Because who wants a VIABLE alternative to the GOP? Vote Democrat - We PROMISE Michael Moore will go away if you do! #16 - Posted by: ZK on May 10, 2006 01:24 PMLooks like Cthulhu has taken over the Democrats..."why vote for the lesser evil?" #17 - Posted by: salfter on May 10, 2006 02:02 PMVote Cthulhu. Why vote for a lesser of two evils. Vote Cthulhu. Not as mind destroying as a Nancy Pelosi. Vote Cthulhu. The Great Old Ones aren't as deranged as Howard Dean. Vote Cthulhu. Not quite as evil as Hillary. If you want to destroy humanity. Don't go for half measures and Vote Democrat. For dark eons of nightmarish horror where death longs to die. Vote Cthulhu. For Obsecne Primordial Anthorpomorphic Mind Cripling Undead Horror Lurching from the Sea. Vote Ted Kennedy. #18 - Posted by: Matt on May 10, 2006 02:20 PMRrrrrrrrAGAWAGA! #19 - Posted by: beemereater on May 10, 2006 02:23 PMBecause voting for the LESSER of two evils obviously hasn't worked. #20 - Posted by: Rick on May 10, 2006 02:34 PMVote for the Democratic Party -- Making the United Nations appear efficient and trustworthy. Assuring the Caliphate in a location near you. Determined to make Frenchmen look brave. #21 - Posted by: Kalthalior on May 10, 2006 03:08 PM- On George Bush's watch, more than 280 million Americans went without robot insurance. We'll make it affordable and add it to Medicare! (Via Irish Trojan and P. Blendy) - As eloquent as Ahmadinejad - Peace in our time! #22 - Posted by: Dov on May 10, 2006 03:11 PMElect democrats, and every night the mainstream media will tell you the country is doing well. #23 - Posted by: Son of Bob on May 10, 2006 03:40 PMBecause once you're in the hurricane's eye, it's safe to let down your guard. Because all the terroists REALLY want is to be loved. And free universal health care. Because the Cylons will NEVER find us hidden in this nebula. (Oh, wait, that's Baltar's slogan) Because the sensible party has had their say for far too long. #24 - Posted by: on May 10, 2006 03:54 PM"Vote Democrat - endorsed by al Jazeera!" "Vote Democrat - communism will work this time!" "Vote Democrat - we don't discriminate against zombie voters!" "Vote Democrat - we'll only eavesdrop on our political enemies!" "Vote Democrat - we won't shoot you in the face (we'll just remove your feeding tube)." "Vote Democrat, or we'll make Cynthia McKinney majority leader!" "Vote Democrat, or we'll have union thugs break your legs!" "Vote Democrat, or you'll lose your voting rights when you die!" "Vote Democrat, or we'll cry!" #26 - Posted by: Master Shake on May 10, 2006 04:08 PM"Vote Democrat - we'll give terrorists such a pinch!" "Vote Democrat: we won't listen in on terrorists' phone calls - it's rude!" "Vote Democrat - the only prison camps we'll set up will be for Republicans!" "Vote Democrat, or you're a Nazi!" "Vote Democrat - at least we're not the Green party!" "Vote Democrat - out of Guantanamo and into the voting booth!" #27 - Posted by: Master Shake on May 10, 2006 04:16 PMDo it for the children. Vote Democrat in '06 and we will put the children back in charge at the White House. #28 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 10, 2006 04:28 PMJust look at our leaders and tell us how you could possibly not vote Democrat in 08. Reid, Pelosi, Kennedy, Kennedy, Durbin, Dean, Clinton, Clinton, Albright, Gore, Kerry, Sheehan, McKinney, Frank, Conyers, Berger, Carville, Russert, Couric, Mathews... #29 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 10, 2006 04:35 PMVote Democrat and we swear we won't run the same two queers in the next presidential race. #30 - Posted by: Ron Rockstar on May 10, 2006 04:36 PMDemocrats. The party that's always supported _______________________ . Vote Democrat! "Vote Democrat: Islam will rule the world eventually - it may as well be sooner rather than later!" "Vote Democrat - as with abortion, there is only one acceptable 'choice'" "Vote Democrat - pretty please?????????" VOTE DEMOCRAT! Vote Democrat because we .... Deeeerrr...You can't make fun of us...we're SPECIAL!!!! Destroying the country one looser at a time. Into the Whitehouse...behind the green door.... Run the country? Oh...we though were were running the porn industry. You were buying all those Chinese products...we thought you wanted to be like China! If you don't vote Democrat, we'll try to win it in court! Who knows how those damn polling machines work anyway? We've destroyed Seattle, Portland and California...why not the rest of the country? ...Because trees need hugs too! We're all four your Constitutional rights...meaning what we think the constitution should read is right! Logic? Who needs it. We'd just like to teach the world to sing...! Because 20 million ilegals isn't enough... All the world needs is for everyone to be smelly, pot smoking hippies! Smoke pot...you'll see it our way! We don't need police and a millitary when all we have to do is appoligise! Because everyone needs a BIG BROTHER. Clinton / Castro '08 You'll learn to love taxes and big government...put us in charge and government will be the only jobs left! #36 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on May 10, 2006 05:49 PMWe Democrats are shocked, SHOCKED, to find that there's a culture of corruption in Washington! Which would you rather have? Ted Kennedy behind a desk, or behind the wheel with nothing to do? #38 - Posted by: FormerHostage on May 10, 2006 05:52 PM"Vote Democrat - we don't support Al Qaeda, we just fax them our talking point memos!" "Vote Democrat - when we let all of the criminals out of prison to vote, you don't want to have to tell them you opposed it, do you?" "Vote Democrat - you won't care how bad of a job we do once we give you your free 'medical' marijuana!" "Vote Democrat - now with more lunacy!" #39 - Posted by: Master Shake on May 10, 2006 05:54 PMVote Democrat! Frank (or should I call you "Comic Genius") You did it again! Funny, funny, funny! Why? Because all Democratic politicians have mistresses and cheat on the wives! And because they support all those illegal Spanish speaking people in the U.S., they should have a slogan that is Spanish! And we all know no Republican politicians ever speak or advertise in Spanish, or have mistresses! Funny! All this post is missing? You know! A joke about liberals having monkey faces. Because, if there is one thing you have proven -- your comedy law so to speak -- monkeys = funny. Keep up the great work! I am splitting my sides here! #41 - Posted by: Money-Faced Liberal on May 10, 2006 07:02 PMVote Democrat! Or Money-Faced Liberal will mock you once again with his Super Mocking Power! #42 - Posted by: dkirk on May 10, 2006 07:28 PMMonkey-faced Liberal is humorless. You would be too if you had a monkey face. #43 - Posted by: Punch! on May 10, 2006 08:31 PM>Posted by: Money-Faced Liberal on May 10, 2006 07:02 PM (please note: "Money" faced) Defeat literacy! Vote Democrat! #44 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on May 11, 2006 07:00 AMVote Democrat - If you're for it, we're for it. If you're against, we're against it. Give us some time and we'll eventually agree with your position on most anything.* If you don't vote for us Michael Moore will dance naked! #46 - Posted by: Caboose48 on May 11, 2006 10:42 AMDon't vote Dem in 06: we won't have anything to criticize when we're the ones screwing up! I guess we could make up an agenda... #47 - Posted by: Pete on May 11, 2006 04:50 PMVote Democrat - We're not all Communists! Vote Democrat - Give us the chance to do to medical care what we did to housing! Vote Democrat - It will build our self esteem! #48 - Posted by: Hunter of Hippies on May 12, 2006 06:29 AMPost a comment
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