So it is down to three. Chris is gonna do way better, so we're all over him getting kicked off in favor of Katharine, who was almost as shocked as Chris was.

Well, I can see the cocaine and boob job crowd is out in full force tonight. No, I'm not talking about Paula. I'm talking about all those fake boobs in the front row.

3 songs from each tonight. 1 picked by the judges, 1 picked by Clive Davis, 1 picked by the contestant. This is the show where Clive or the judges or both can sabotage a contestant by picking the wrong song for the contestant.

Now here's the skinny: If the finals are Taylor / Katharine: Snore. Elliott / Katharine: Weird dream snore. Taylor / Elliott: Fun and interesting.

IDOLS 01, 04, 07... Elliott's Clive Davis pick is Journey's "Open Arms". Expect Randy to drop names. Clive says he wants Elliott to do a rock song. ? Ok, I guess, but this is one of Journey's most popish songs. Anyway, Elliott will do a fantastic job, I hope. And I was wrong. That was mediocre at best, with Elliott flatting a few notes and I'm pretty sure he messed up the chorus lyrics. He looks good, though, so he should be proud. /channeling Paula. RANDY: Yo, dude, I was like Journey's drummer for a while. SARAHK: No! RANDY: I wasn't sure about you doing this song, but you worked it out, dude! You need to take chances though! [Thanks for that advice so late in the game.] Journey rulz! PAULA: I'm so excited about tonight I could pee my pants! Pirates of Penzance! Best night ever! Mwah! SIMON: Any other night, I would rip you for that performance, but it will be an absolute disaster for the show if Katharine is in the finals, so I'll just say that you can do better. Please please please pretty please do better. Loosen up and believe you can be in the finals. SARAHK: Please please please do better. Pretty please. I'll vote for you anyway, but others might not. REWATCH: He was sharping the notes, not flatting them. But it was good, not great.

IDOLS 02, 05, 08... Clive picked R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" for Katharine. I think this will be a McWreck, thank you Clive. She'll either try to do too much and come across screechy, or she'll play safe and be boring. Boring or screechy. I'm McOut on Katharine, if you couldn't tell. Send her to Broadway to win some Tonies. Oh, the ridiculous facial expressions aren't enough, what is that weird flappy jerky arm move thingy? Anyway, it was screechy in parts, good in parts, and just McWeird all over. RANDY: Lemme start with you look great. You're not that great a singer yet. PAULA: What a great turquoise color on you! Um... um... this is so hard... Um... KAT: You guys have been really hard on me the past couple of weeks. SARAHK: That's because you haven't been good. RANDY: Song choice. KAT: I didn't pick it! SARAHK: Simon's gonna go against them and praise her. SIMON: Paula and Randy are unfair, I praise you. It was a bit of a moment for you. FRANK J.: How'd you know he was going to do that? SARAHK: If Paula and Randy are really mean, Simon always praises them to be the good guy. Plus that whole reverse psychology thing. Get everyone thinking she's safe so people won't vote for her. Anyway, Katharine, I didn't love it, but it was better than I expected. REWATCH: The screechy notes near the end were flat. Super-flat. And leave the woos to Taylor. Still stinking weird and not good. She tried way too hard to do her own thing. I'm just befuddled.

IDOLS 03, 06, 09... Clive picked Bruce's "Dancing in the Dark". THAT IS A SABOTAGING SONG IF EVER THERE WAS ONE. That's a boring song no matter who's singing it. That's just harsh, Clive. Bad form. And from the look on Taylor's face, it looks like he's not thrilled. But apparently, Clive had to personally call Bruce Springsteen for permission, so maybe Taylor's glad, I dunno. Taylor is doing as much with the song as he can. And he's dancing in the dark with Paula. The performance was as good as it could have been with such a boring song. RANDY: You have a good time! You're great! PAULA: Wish I'd worn the double-stick tape! I always have a great time with you! Bowchickabowwow. SIMON: You have 3 songs. It was ok, paled in comparison to the original. Paula, for someone your age, you were great. SARAHK: It was as good as it could have been, because the original is a boring, three-note song. REWATCH: The facial expressions were painful, but the song was as good as it could have been. Bad song choice.

1/4/7... Elliott's mayor from Richmond, Virginia, tells Elliott that Paula picked "What You Won't Do For Love" by Bobby Caldwell. Poor Elliott, that is just bad luck having Paula pick for you. She always picks crappy songs. Paula says Elliott is a funky, soulful white guy who's full of love. Elliott looks good. He's doing these weird jiggy arm movements. Apparently, Katharine's jerky disease is contagious. Anyway, he sings this one really well. RANDY: Good song, not your best performance. PAULA: You're great, soul patrol! SIMON: Didn't really like the song, but you sang it really well. SARAHK: Yeah, what Simon said. REWATCH: The hip-hop hand-waves seem out of place, but that's just him being loose. But it was great.

2/5/8... Katharine's mayor said Simon wants Kat to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Simon says ever since he first met her, he knew this was the perfect song for her. It starts out wonderful, maybe even amazing. A capella, she's on the floor (eye roll, good grief, girl, do you have legs? body thetans weighing you down? stand up!). She starts oversinging it right before the finale but drops it back a notch and brings it in very well. That was probably her best of the season and the best so far tonight. Elliott will have to really nail his last song if he wants to be in the finals. RANDY: Yo yo! Woo! Hot! Your best vocal ever! PAULA: Seal clap! Make that dolphin! SIMON: I knew you could do it! I'm glad for you tonight. That was the best to date. SARAHK: Almost killed it with the oversing, but yay, you saved yourself. Definitely your best performance yet. FRANK J.: It's like a pentagon with one more side! I forget what you call that. SARAHK: You know I finish typing faster if you're not talking. And it's a hexagon. (Talking about the logo for Bones, which the Tivo is paused on.) REWATCH: She looks so sad for someone dreaming about what she might see when she gets over the rainbow. Other than that and the oversing in the middle, it's still excellent.

3/6/9... Taylor's governor, who apparently taught Kellie Pickler to talk, says that Randy picked "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker. The others got mayors, and Taylor got a governor? That's discrimination! Against the Jew and the girl! Anyway, Taylor is trying to go for very subdued here, really trying to feel the words, but he's really trying too hard. So hard that he misses some of the notes. Not flat or sharp, just sings them so soft that they're not there. Then there's a really good woo high bit and he brings it home. Excellent. One of his best. RANDY: Yay! PAULA: Yay! SIMON: Far and away your best performance ever. TAYLOR: Soul Patrol! Simon's happy! Yay! SARAHK: Yay! REWATCH: Oustanding, especially the high falsetto stuff. That's how it's done. Still tried to hard on the emoting.

1/4/7... Elliott gets to pick his own song. Let's hope he's better at it than Paula. I've already voted for him ten times. Elliott is doing the Donny Hathaway version of Ray Charles's "I Believe to My Soul". I love this from the beginning. There's one bad vibrato spot, but I love the re-- Oh no, he didn't. He sang his own name into the song. Ok, other than that and the bad vibrato spot, it was great. RANDY: Bad song, you did great. PAULA: Not a great song, people can't connect, but no one can sing like you sing. You rip, you nail, you're funky and white. SIMON: Your songs are not going to carry you through to next week. But you're a great guy, you have a great voice, you're going to make your mum proud. SARAHK: I loved most of it. Let's hope Kat goes campy and everyone votes for you because Simon thinks they won't. I'm worried about you. Bad songs for Elliott tonight. REWATCH: I think I'm harder on everyone the first time around. This is why I rewatch. I can't wait to buy Elliott's first CD. This was great.

2/5/8... Katharine is singing "I Ain't Got Nothing but the Blues". Short, black, skimpy, cleavagey dress. Tall boots. Love the song, didn't care for the performance. RANDY: Ok. PAULA: Ok. SIMON: I wish "Over the Rainbow" had been your last song. It was ok. SARAHK: Meh. OTR was great, this was less than great. REWATCH: No change to what I said. Except that I wish I watched with my eyes closed?

3/6/9... Taylor is doing "Try a Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding for the Soul Patrol. This is the song he was going to do the love songs week, and the producers made him change his song 2 days before the competition because it wasn't technically a love song. Honestly, this is kinda messy, all over the place, the slow part is sloppy, the fast and Taylory part is spastic. Not my favorite Taylor performance. RANDY: Your new name is Have a Good Time Funky Taylor. PAULA: I've been waiting for you to sing this. And I'll be waiting for you later, wink wink. SIMON: Great song, great performance, hideous ending, see you next week. SARAHK: It was a'ight. But you win the night. REWATCH: Overdone but really good. You don't win the night. But you're the next American Idol.

Best song tonight: Kat's "Over the Rainbow". Worst: Kat's "I Believe I Can Weird SarahK Out".
Kat's best: OTR
Elliott's best: I Believe to My Soul.
Taylor's best: You Are So Beautiful.

My first order (changes on the rewatch):
Taylor**
Katharine
Elliott*************** (I really think a Taylor / Katharine final will be incredibly snoozetastic.)

The songs killed Elliott tonight. I think Elliott and Taylor will split Chris's votes, because Chris fans are bitter about Katharine knocking off Chris with her lousy performances. Chris's guy fans probably roll their eyes at Taylor and either drop off or vote for boobs. The girl fans want to scratch Katharine's eyes out. Not me, I'm way nicer than that. But honestly, I won't vote for her, because I really don't want to listen to a whole album of screechy Christina Aguilera type music. I want Katharine to be a huge Broadway star and win Tonies. I don't say Broadway in a negative way, it's just she fits there and not on pop stations. Taylor has the super-huge fan base, so he's automatically safe. Katharine had the best song of the night, but Taylor was the best overall. Elliott got mostly bad reviews, so that will motivate people to dial. Ugh, it's just so hard. Taylor's safe. Elliott and Katharine are the bottom two. :D If Katharine didn't have boobs, I'd say she's going home. Aw, heck, I'm saying it anyway. Katharine's gone, or next week will be a yawner.

Now to rewatch. AFTER THE REWATCH: I actually think Elliott's going home, but I'm still picking Katharine. So to clarify, I can't take credit for the prediction if Elliott goes home. AFTER THE REWATCH, MY ORDER CHANGED:
Elliott**********
Katharine
Taylor**

• Currently 2.82/5
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Rating: 2.8/5 (11 votes cast)

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