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May 17, 2006
Donald Rumsfeld's Blog (updated 5-18-06 9:15am)
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) Donald Rumsfeld was on the Hugh Hewitt show last week, and he mentioned blogs. I hope that means he'll be starting one soon. I mean, sure, he's done a great job as Secretary of Terrorizing Terrorists or whatever his title is, but he's also a great communicator and his talent is being wasted. If nothing else, at least he wouldn't be a weepy little woman like Tony Snow. Granted, it probably wouldn't be the BEST blog in the world - just lots of pictures of him strangling journalists and hippies and feeding their twisted corpses to Chomps - but I'll bet it would have a cool name, like maybe.... * Rumstapundit * The Only Good Terrorist Is A Dead Terrorist, and the World Needs More Good Terrorists * Shut Up! I'm Trying to Hegemonize! * Hand Grenades In The Podium And Other Keys To A Successful Press Conference * What Good Is Having Nukes If We're Not Going To Use Them? * I TOLD You Not To Listen To Colin Powell! * I Don't Want To Beat You To Death With Your Own Press Credentials, But I Will If I Have To * Invade Their Country and Steal Their Oil - Solutions To Illegal Immigration * KILL! KILL! KILL! - The Rumsfeld Doctrine Explained * You Say "Torturing Terrorists" Like It's a BAD Thing * Five Point Palm Exploding Heart and Other Love Poems * I Like You. I'll Kill You Last * I Miss Napalm * I'm Only Wearing Glasses So That My Eyes Don't Jump Out of My Head and Strangle You * Pale Rider's Adventures In Apocalyptic Horsemanship * Kittens, Puppies, Rainbows, and Other Irritants * Remember When I Said I'd Kill You Last?... I Lied Or maybe he'll just go with IMAO (Immolate Mutilate Annihilate Obliterate) Any other guesses? UPDATE: Apparently it's called The Rumsfeld Strangler 26 Responses To "Donald Rumsfeld's Blog (updated 5-18-06 9:15am)"
Damn all cool blog names, can I borrow a few? Don't forget my personel favorites! "If you love something set it free, if it dosen't come back, hunt it down and kill it" Thermo-nuclear the right choice! Chuck Norris IS AFRAID of me!!! Outa here The Rumsville Gazette Day 3: You know what sucks about Movable Type? There's no 'bomb them back to the stone age' button. Day 2: Indeed. Day 1: Hmm! A little free association. Let’s see. Rumsfeld pundit I have it! Rumsfeld’s foreskin, and other unmentionable plots. The Don of Civilization #4 - Posted by: DMills on May 18, 2006 01:59 AMUh-huh...I'm aimin' ta kill ya with it. #5 - Posted by: Pat Rand on May 18, 2006 06:57 AMHello Daisies. I'm "Cutter". #6 - Posted by: Gerry on May 18, 2006 08:11 AMSince the government is still trying to get rid of hundreds of tons of Vietnam-era napalm, lets have Rummy deliver it to Iran. He could just lob it in their direction. #7 - Posted by: Writer on May 18, 2006 08:14 AMWhat would a Rumsfeld authored "In My World" be like? Heh. Indeed. #8 - Posted by: Russ on May 18, 2006 08:33 AMNow that Tony Snow has done the nice cop thing isn't it time for "Rummy" to storm the next press conference with killing and guts and such? I vote for punching David Gregory first. Helen Thomas has already been hit with the ugly stick...hard...several times...really hard...over and over again!!! #10 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 18, 2006 09:00 AM"Known Knowns, Known Unknowns, and Unknown Unknowns" actually, I prefer: "This Is My Boomstick" #11 - Posted by: Gollios on May 18, 2006 09:56 AM"Go ahead...make my day" On the heels of Gollios: "Good... Bad... I'm the Guy With the Gun" #13 - Posted by: Harvey on May 18, 2006 10:45 AMDuring the deadlock over John Bolton's nomination to be our U.N. ambassador I proposed nominating Bruce Campbell instead. Amb. Bruce's opening remarks: On promoting U.S. trade: On old Europe: "IMAO (Immolate Mutilate Annihilate Obliterate)" Is that what IMAO actually stands for? I have been wondering. #15 - Posted by: Just Curious on May 18, 2006 12:11 PMI thought it was: Not that I agree with the "a" part since I'm so far to the right I make Bush look like a democrat! :) #16 - Posted by: Aaron Horrocks on May 18, 2006 12:37 PMAaron, Right now, Mr. Amnesty is making himself look like a Democrat. #17 - Posted by: Oofty Goofty! on May 18, 2006 01:07 PMYeah, Aaron, Bush is so liberal-whacko cut-taxes-and-spend-anyway crazy-open-borders-nice-guy, he makes John McCain look conservative! And Just Curious, IMAO actually stands for nothing. One day, when it got popular, somebody was like, "hey what does that stand for?" And Frank J. thought he'd be cool and say "I'm not telling you, na, na na, na boo, boo!" Nowadays he's resorted to making us sign up for his newsletter, promising us he'll tell us, but he never will. Because it doesn't actually mean anything. There you have it. Oh, and Harvey, your blog names are funny, but incredibly long. I know that's applying realism to humor, but that's where my unfunniness on my "humor" blog comes from, I suppose. Some of my own: SmackDonald's RummyDoom (like Rubix Cube) Rumsfeld's Rants that Reek of Right-wing Ramblings and Retro-empiricism with Really Rageful Rhetoric #18 - Posted by: blue square on May 18, 2006 03:24 PMThe meaning of IMAO is a matter of national security and anyone who leaks the truth will be hung for treason. Blue Square - yeah, I know they're long, but Rummy's new to this blogging thing, and he doesn't know any better. Either that or coming up with short ones is really hard and I'm really lazy. #19 - Posted by: Harvey on May 18, 2006 06:11 PMWhatever the blog is called, I don't think you want to get caught in a Rummylanche. #21 - Posted by: Pablo on May 18, 2006 10:01 PMRummy's blog: To MOAB or not to MOAB..that is the question? WK #23 - Posted by: White Knight on May 19, 2006 01:10 PMNames, names, names.... Chuck Norris' Daddy. Fear the Reaper The Mother of all Bloggers Pent-a-gonna kick yer *ss He who will be obeyed #24 - Posted by: walrus on May 19, 2006 04:39 PMInfalliblog -- Sneering at Critics since 1932 #25 - Posted by: Rumsfeld molests underage transvestite woodchucks on May 22, 2006 12:15 PMHertikol882= A$$hol* #26 - Posted by: White Knight on May 22, 2006 08:52 PMPost a comment
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