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June 22, 2006
A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Part 6 - Courtship
Posted by Frank J. at 02:17 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (6)

BEGINNING OF STORY

PREVIOUS (PART 5)

* * * *

"So what are you guys planning on spending your gift certificates on?" Bryce had changed out of his uniform into what looked like a brand new suit. The four were standing outside of the military base, and none had said much since the debrief with the General.

"They tried to kill us!" Lulu screamed. She was now wearing a short skirt and a t-shirt with bunnies on it. With her pigtails, she looked more like she just got out of class than came from a battlefield. "I can't believe they tried to kill us! I'm just glad he gave us gift certificates because, after all of that slaughter, I really need to shop." She turned to Charlene. "Can they really do that? Can they just send us out to die? I'm so mad, I'm really thinking of writing someone an angry letter... maybe with swears in it."

Charlene was still expressionless. When she had changed, she'd let her long brown hair out of her pony tail and put on a leather jacket. For a petite, five-foot woman, Doug thought she had a pretty intimidating presence. After a couple seconds, she looked up at Lulu. "We are in no position to question the leadership. If General Daniels has done anything improper in assigning us to that mission, it will be dealt with. It is not our responsibility to make that assessment, though, and the command structure will collapse if we try and take on that responsibility."

Bryce laughed. "Wow. You're a real piece of work there, Charlene. We're not being listened to by the government, so spare us the loyal drone spiel."

Her expression turned fierce. "Before the battle, I remarked that the squad was full of incompetents who deserved death, and I stand by that. I speak only what I believe and nothing else, and I am loyal to our divine Empress."

"It takes a twisted mind to pretend that battle was anything other than a pointless slaughter. Plus, I hate to break it to you, but I recently heard a rumor that Proserpine is an alien." Bryce smiled and looked at Doug. "I think this one might actually be dumber than you."

"Hey!" Doug punched Bryce in the shoulder. "Lay off her!"

Bryce backed away looking surprised. "Okay; calm down." Doug surprised himself. He had barely ever gotten angry at his best friend, but Charlene, despite her outward appearances, seemed a bit sad about something. Doug just couldn't stand watching Bryce treat her the way Bryce usually treated people.

"Let's get to the mall, Charlene," Lulu said. "I'm not as happy about the slaughter as you are, and I need to at least get some new shoes or something."

Bryce grabbed Doug by his jacket collar and whispered, "You need to ask Charlene out before they leave."

Doug turned red. "I dunno. She's just so--"

"Let me see your gift certificate." Doug took it out of his jacket pocket. Bryce quickly snatched it. "Now it's mine."

"Hey! I earned that!"

Bryce put it away in his suit. "You won't get it back until you ask Charlene out. Tell her to meet you at the corner of Geist and Minton at eight for dinner. It will be my treat."

Doug glared at Bryce and then jogged after Charlene who was already walking off with Lulu. "Hey, Charlene."

She turned around. "What?"

Doug couldn't help but sink from her gaze. "I was... uh... just wondering if... uh... you like dinner and... uh..."

"Are you asking me out?" Her expression was one of contempt.

"Well, it's just..."

"I am a great soldier of the divine Empress's army; how dare you ask me out in such a timid manner!"

"I'm sorry." Defeated, Doug turned to walk away.

"And you're retreating!" Charlene grabbed Doug and yanked him back. "You dishonor your uniform. Stand up straight and do that again."

Doug again faced Charlene, who was staring back intensely. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Bryce had split off Lulu and was talking to her. Doug stood at attention, met Charlene's gaze, and said, "I was thinking, that... you know... if you don't have anything better to do..."

"I can barely hear you!"

"It’s just that... uh..."

"Stop stuttering and get to the point!"

"Can I take you out to dinner? You’re pretty!"

Charlene thought about that for a moment, not breaking her gaze with Doug's. "Fine... but just because we're soldiers who fought together. Don't consider it a date. Where are we going?"

"Just meet me at Geist and Minton at eight, and I'll surprise you."

"Okay." Charlene about-faced and called out, "Come on, Lulu." Lulu waved goodbye to Bryce then Doug and walked off with Charlene.

When the women were far enough away, Doug turned to Bryce and pumped his fists in the air. "I did it."

Bryce handed Doug back his gift certificate. "Yeah, I saw. Makes me sorry I made you do that."

"But I like her. So what restaurant is near Geist and Minton?"

Bryce shrugged. "I don't know if there is any. Come on, we need to get some things from my place."

"What? Hey, this isn't part of your new scheme, is it?"

Bryce straightened his tie. "It's not a scheme; it's a plan. And, yes, Lulu and Charlene now factor into it."

"I don't think it's right for you to trick them into whatever it is you're going to do. They've just been through a lot."

"That reminds me: I still don't know who it was we just fought... but I guess I'm just too embarrassed to ask at this point." He headed down the street. "Let's go. Oh, and there's more than a small possibility that some people will be following us who want to do me harm, so keep an eye out."

"Okay." Doug followed Bryce for a few seconds until his brain kicked in. "Wait; what was that last part?"

NEXT

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Hellbender
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6 Responses To "A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Part 6 - Courtship"

"Short skirt", "pigtails", "just got out of class", mecha. Do the girls have really big eyes?

I just hope there aren't any tentacles involved later....

#1 - Posted by: Master Shake on June 22, 2006 02:48 PM

The description helps quite a bit, Frank. If you made Charlene five-foot-four with shoulder-length blonde hair and steely green eyes; you’d be describing my wife, who, by the way, grabs me by the collar and makes me stand at attention (in more ways then one), and barks out her commands, to me, in a southern drawl, with a New Yorker attitude. “HEY! DIDN’T I TELL Y’ALL TO MAKE COIFFEE LAST NIGHT!!!” *BIFF* *SLAP* *BAM* --Scary!

#2 - Posted by: Pork & Beans on June 22, 2006 04:10 PM

Much more of this and I'm going to start hoping that Monkey Face comes back.

#3 - Posted by: Si Si on June 22, 2006 04:21 PM

Really good stuff, Frank. That bit with Charlene telling Doug how to ask her out made laugh out loud. I can just see this thing being turned into a movie, with that scene being in the trailer.

I like the way you're fleshing out Bryce's character as well. This story started out as silly fluff (but funny, well written, entertaining silly fluff), but is now getting juicy.

#4 - Posted by: Chainik Hocker on June 22, 2006 08:59 PM

longer chapters!
I demand longer chapters!

#5 - Posted by: spacemonkey on June 23, 2006 10:17 AM

Paragraph 8 : 'Bryce usually treats people' should be 'Bryce usually treated people'.

Paragraph 9: "I'm as unhappy about the laughter as you are," perhaps?

I'm only picking apart the grammar because your writing is good enough to be worth editing, if that makes any sense. Keep it coming!

#6 - Posted by: Su on June 27, 2006 11:51 AM
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