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June 22, 2006
Less Offensive Terrorist Killin' Song
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment) A Marine wrote a song called "Hadji Girl" (video here, lyrics here) that was described as "contrary to the high standards expected of all Marines" by Marine Major Gabrielle Chapin. Since Marines aren't known for their sensitivity, I have to assume that the objection was that it didn't have enough brutal terrorist-killin'. So to show my support for the Marines, I wrote a sprightly little ditty that's - hopefully - a little less respectful of bloodthirsty Islamofascists. CONTENT WARNING: contains censored profanity, violent imagery, disrespectful references to terrorist sexual preferences, and other assorted not-very-niceness, so it's in the extended entry... MARINES ARE FOR KILLIN' TERRORISTS Riding through Iraq across the burning sand CHORUS: Got my RPG and my M16 [CHORUS] Why don't you act civil like your friends the French? [CHORUS] Gonna bring freedom to this backwards land (Final Chorus) I figure Major Chapin would be ok with this one, since it doesn't use the word "Hadji". By the way, I didn't have any particular song running through my head during this one, so if you notice a tune that fits it, please let me know. 17 Responses To "Less Offensive Terrorist Killin' Song"
What can I say, it warmed my heart, Harvey. (First?) #1 - Posted by: on June 22, 2006 09:46 AMCatchy! #2 - Posted by: JeepThang on June 22, 2006 09:46 AMYay, first. in such a hurry, even forgot to write my name. #3 - Posted by: HKPistole on June 22, 2006 09:47 AMWhen are you going to post the liner notes? #4 - Posted by: Pat Rand on June 22, 2006 09:50 AMI'd say "Blame it on the Rain," but only cuz we got 10" of that stuff here in the Glass City. For some reason, when I read it I heard "The Boys are Back in Town." Maybe it's just me though... #5 - Posted by: NMUSpidey on June 22, 2006 10:18 AMIf you sing as bad as Connie Chung then you can twist it to the Eagles tune of Desparado. #6 - Posted by: Ron Rockstar on June 22, 2006 10:27 AMI think it works to (Ghost) Riders in the Sky...sort of. #7 - Posted by: Pat Rand on June 22, 2006 10:38 AMMaybe to the tune of "These boots are made for walking"? Sorta. I'm just sayin'... ;0) #8 - Posted by: Lonevoice on June 22, 2006 11:01 AMDon't forget the ancient Marine kill'n song: Oh, God made fore'ners for a kill'n, http://www.imao.us/archives/000765.html #9 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 22, 2006 11:17 AM"It's Raining Men"? Oh wait, that's Monkey Faced Liberal's theme song. How about "Number One Spot" - as in splattered into a spot on the landscape? I envision this as a rap song. Although it could be a Linkin Park-type song, but with the verses sung and the chorus rapped. #10 - Posted by: Master Shake on June 22, 2006 12:17 PMActually, I *did* have sort of a rap beat goin in my head while I was writing this. The great thing about rap is that meter gets thrown out the window, and the rhymes can be as weak as a 3-bean cup of coffee. #11 - Posted by: Harvey on June 22, 2006 12:26 PMAs I started reading it it came out like the Beverly Hillbillies, kinda. #12 - Posted by: fmragtops on June 22, 2006 12:48 PMFor some reason, most of my songs tend to either come out like Beverly Hillbillies or Devil Went Down to Georgia. Apparently I have a thing for banjo music and/or white-boy country-rap #13 - Posted by: Harvey on June 22, 2006 12:51 PMIt perfectly fits the tune of "Yellow Rose of Texas", as does everything Emily Dickinson ever wrote. Wait - are you really Emily Dickinson? #14 - Posted by: Debby on June 22, 2006 02:05 PMIt fits very well with the standard military running cadence. #16 - Posted by: Sean on June 22, 2006 07:06 PMI once took my brother, who was a Ranger on leave home at the time, to a movie along with a female friend of mine. He leaned over as the movie started and asked me if I'd had sex with her. I said not yet, and he replied, "I'd pop her eyes out and skull-f**k her twice before the previews were over, she's so good-looking." And later he said the Marines were the rude ones! #17 - Posted by: Austin Mike on June 23, 2006 12:25 PMPost a comment
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