About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

June 26, 2006
A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Part 7 - The Break-In
Posted by Frank J. at 04:38 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (3)

BEGINNING OF STORY

PREVIOUS (PART 6)

* * * *

"How do you tell if someone is following you and not just heading in the same direction?" Doug entered the apartment building with Bryce. It wasn't in the nicest part of town, but it wasn't in the worst part of town either. He had no idea how Bryce was able to obtain it while it currently belonged to the Proserpine military, but Doug did know that asking him about it would never bring about any answers. Anyway, other things worried him more. "I really don't think you should be tricking those two women into whatever your scheme is this time."

"Just trust me, Doug."

"Why?"

This gave Bryce pause. After a moment, he answered, "Because I saved your life today. You at least owe me a little trust for that."

Bryce had never played the "I saved your life" card before. Then again, all the other times Doug was rescued by Bryce, it was Bryce's fault he needed saving in the first place. "You promise you won't get them killed or something?"

Bryce took a second to answer that. "This is an important plan, Doug. It will mean no more pointless fights and pointless deaths for some whack-job who thinks he or she is a god. The more people I involve with this, the better."

This did make it sound more important than Bryce's usual scheme to earn a few dishonest credits. It certainly seemed he was building to something, as he had been gone more than a week before today's battle - the longest Doug had ever known Bryce to be out on his own. Doug was a little hurt to be that much out of the loop, but he always got the feeling that when Bryce didn't involve him with something, it was best he didn't know about it. Now Doug was actually curious what this was about, especially if it was going to free them from the Empress Proserpine's government as well as those of the other emperors. This was beginning to sound like it might be as important a task as he had dreamed about last night. "So are we going to finally fight the system?"

Bryce struck Doug in the back of his head. "No! Of course not, you idiot. Don't even joke about that. The system is big and was put in place by many powerful people who will kill all who would dare threaten it. You should never even contemplate taking on the system. You only game or play the system - never fight it." He headed up the stairwell. "Enough talk; let's get moving."

Bryce's apartment was on the fifth floor. They stopped in front of it as Bryce inspected the door - especially near the handle. Bryce pointed to one spot near the frame. "A sharp kick here should break the door in."

Doug stared a while at that spot until he noticed Bryce was staring at him. "What?"

"Are you going to kick it or knock it down with the power of your pea-sized brain?"

Doug furrowed his brow. "Don't you have a key?"

Bryce sighed. "I asked you to trust me, but you're still inundating me with dumb questions. Of course I have a key. Now kick the door in."

With one sharp kick, the door broke open. Bryce's apartment wasn't very large, but he had furnished it with a certain sense of style that made Bryce appear more opulent than he was. Or at least it did until Bryce started knocking over tables, smashing decorations, and ripping his paintings.

"Why are you breaking everything?"

Bryce broke a glass coffee table with a chair. "Again with the questions! Are you writing an exposé on me or something?"

"Sorry." Doug looked around. "Can I smash something at least?"

Bryce moved to the kitchen and started knocking plates and glasses out of his cabinets. "No; you might break something I need." Bryce stopped to look out his window. "Oh, and to answer an earlier question, the way you can tell someone is following you is that he will be trying to look like he's not following you."

"But everyone looks like they're not following me."

Bryce grabbed a briefcase near his bed and started filling it with some items from his filing cabinet. "Yes, but there's a difference between how someone looks when they're actually not following you and when they're trying to look like they're not following you.” He knocked over the filing cabinet. “Anyway, there is a pipe under the sink. Go get it."

Doug looked under the sink. "The only pipe I see is connected to the sink."

Bryce took a suitcase out of his closet and knocked over all his hanging clothes. "That's the one; pull it out."

With a little effort, Doug pulled out the pipe causing himself to be sprayed with water. "The water is still on!"

"That it is." Bryce walked to his door carrying his briefcase in one hand and the suitcase in another. "Let's get going to the meeting point. You lead the way."

Doug walked out into the hallway and tried to hand Bryce his pipe.

"No, you keep that; I'll carry the rest."

That was another first for Bryce: him carrying the heavy stuff. Doug didn't look a gift horse in the mouth and led the way back down the stairs. Before they got to the exit, Bryce said, "Hold on a sec." He put down his briefcase and suitcase. "Put the pipe up your sleeve."

Doug stuck the pipe up his right sleeve and curled his hand inwards to hold it in. "What am I doing?"

"Just a simple little errand. What I want you to do is walk out of the apartment, bash any goons you see in the head with that pipe, and then call me when the coast is clear."

"Wha?" was all Doug was able to utter before Bryce had shoved him out the door.

NEXT

Baens Universe Logo
Help Save Science Fiction at Jim Baen's Universe!

Rating: 1.5/5 (4 votes cast)

Hellbender
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
3 Responses To "A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Part 7 - The Break-In"

ahhhhhhhhhh! death... maybe. and again with the to be continued? this is getting frustrating.

#1 - Posted by: Garrett on June 26, 2006 05:24 PM

yeah...the story's great, it's the bit by bit part that's anoying...I suppose if Frank posted it all at once then we wouldn't have to check in daily $$$.

#2 - Posted by: LucidObscuity on June 26, 2006 07:07 PM

"It will mean no more pointless fights and pointless deaths all for some whack-jobs who think he or she is a god"

should be

"It will mean no more pointless fights and pointless deaths all for some whack-job who thinks he or she is a god"

Looking forward to your next.

#3 - Posted by: Su on June 27, 2006 11:55 AM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933