What's their problem? sheesh... I hit people in the head with a pipe just because they don't agree with me fast enough.

I'm still trying to figure out how to get me 90 minutes back after watching Ultraviolet. And I thought Aeon Flux was bad...

...the only good part of both movies was the hotness of the lead characters.

Other than that, my day is going well. Better than Judge Penis Pump, that's for sure.

If you hit someone in the head with a pipe, you'll definitely leave them open-minded

I finally figured out how to field strip my 1911, my studying for the next exam is going fine, I'd say I had a decent day.

And I had a triple ration of bread and fascism for dinner, too.

I've run out of pipe.

The opposite of 'closed-minded' is not 'open-minded', it's 'enlightened'. As in, if you refuse to fall for liberal nonsense beliefs, you're 'closed-minded', but if you swallow them hook, line, and sinker, you're 'enlightened'.
Personally, I consider myself to be 'enlightened' because, like Francesco Poli, I know how to field strip my 1911. Also, an M-1 Garand, AR-15, Ruger P-95, and Mauser 1896 Broomhandle.

He he he... yeah... I think I am about to hit myself in the head with a pipe. They are about to re-release TITANIC

AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! If my girl makes me sit through that *again* I am going to grab my .40 and shoot myself... (mmm... hollow point lunch!)

I spent the whole day waiting for a technically incompetent manager, who despite never actually understanding the data has never been wrong in her own mind. To look at a document she can not comprehend, that if approved would save the company almost $500K. I am anticipating a rejection for a grammer error at any time since the other two pointy haired idgits that have already signed off on it (after requiring more experiments so they can look like they are doing something) have left and there will be no way to avoid delaying production.

To summarize: I wish I could go back to the point in my life where I did not viscerally understand Dilbert.

On the other hand: FOUR DAY WEEKEND + Legal explosives = who cares about the 60 billion dollar corporations money.

So I'm good.

I got to spend the day asking copies why they still haven't paid their bills, but Moonbunny and her Little Hlaoroo siser are with the grandparents for the summer so me and BigWig are off to do some fishing. We promise to leave them flopping on the bank, Frank.

Yeh.

My neighbor came over the other day, in hysterics over Global Warming.

When I boinged a 12" frying-pan off her melon, she got all uppity.

Go Figure

wheeee! It's Friday and I'm now on vacation!!!
I can finally catch up on some movies, yessssss.

Well my day was fine. After stemming an onrushing tide (Aquaman likes me to use that reference) of laser beam equipped nazi robots, I got to go home and bitch slap spiderman around. I am not allowed to use guns so I have to get my kicks where I can. No pipes either, but I do get to fling my shield at evil doers.

I bashed a communist's head in with a hammer and castrated him with a sickle once. The irony made him weep.

I’ve had a frustrating week. I’m still trying to get my lime green socks back from Superman. I just haven’t been able to catch up with him. The man of steel has been flying from gay bar to gay bar all week now. Trying to track him down has been a real drag.

You know something. Everyone thinks your strange, if you walk into a bar and ask if anyone has seen a really muscular fellow wearing nothing but three lime green socks and a cape emblazoned with huge pink SM (SuperMan). It totally attracts the wrong sort of people. I did have several people volunteer to tie me up and beat me though. This is really getting’ old. I just can’t run as fast as Superman.

Wearing his Superman suit was cool for a while, but has it’s disadvantages too. Everybody wants help lifting stuff, saving their infants from traffic, and catching flying debris and such. You wouldn’t believe how many close calls I’ve had stepping out into traffic and shit with no super powers. I did get out of saving a bunch of folks houses from the floods. I explained to them that it was physically impossible to lift a house out of the water by one corner. I had to explain to them about structural integrity and distribution of load and that it was impossible to lift a building by the corner without it falling to pieces. I think they bought it. They sure did look disappointed though. One old lady got totally irate that I wouldn’t get her pussy cat out of the huge tree. I told her the cat would make it’s way down one way or another and I wasn’t wasting my super powers on no damn cat. Could you believe she started beating on me with pipe. I used some gladiator moves I learned on her and got the lead pipe away from her. Smacked her right on the noggin with it. I turned around this crowd was just staring at me in disbelief. “But she attacked me!” I don’t know if I’ll tell Superman about that ugly little incident. Anyway, I’d like to unload this Superman outfit as soon as I get a chance.

OK, those of you who are confused by the lime green socks story need to go back and read the comments from “Is Super Man gay” If you’re still confused you’re probably normal and healthy.

The landlord raised the rent on the underground lair to $1 MILLION Dollars so I'm having a frickin' terrible day. It's a great location, Dick Cheney's undislosed location is next door. John Kerry's top secret plans for pretty much everything are in a storage unit across the way, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

DrEvil

Have you seen a really muscular fellow wearing nothing but three lime green socks and a cape emblazoned with huge pink SM(SuperMan).

If he stops by tell him he can have his Superman suit back. They cops have been around asking a lot of questions. I think their on to me.

Keep the suit Neo, I'm sticking with these socks of yours. You're never getting them back! Hahaha!
Seriously, though, what kind of detergent are you using? One of socks is really itchy. Bet you can't guess which one!

Brian the Adequate,

You don't work for Kraft, do you?
Worst four months of my life, dude.

iraq war is not going well. the people on this site that attack liberals instead of holding the bush administration accountable for their lies and their pathetic attempt at fighting a war should be ashamed of themselves. quit rewarding incompetence with your ignorant support.

Awe Man, You’ve got the kryptonite crabs again Super Man.

I recommend Diazinon to get rid of them. That seems to do the trick. I tried Metaldehyde a while back but that just made my unit shrivel up.

Answerz,
Have you seen a really muscular fellow wearing nothing but three lime green socks and a cape emblazoned with huge pink SM(SuperMan).

If he stops by tell him he can… Oh, never mind…I must be incredibly board or something.

"I didn't even have to use my AK... today was a good day."
-Ice Cube

"I'm having a bad day & it's all George Bush's fault!"
-answerz

Someone needs to hit Eddie Griffin (Timberwolves Ceter) over the head with a pipe...again and again and again...

Kent-

Not Kraft.

Scary as it may sound I work for (UNAMED LARGE PHARMA COMPANY) supporting manufacturing of medicine. Since one of the things I did yesterday was take the mind numbingly boring "proper use of electronic resources" training, I have discovered that according to the (UNAMED LARGE PHARMA COMPANY) I can be fired for commenting on blogs that disparage (UNAMED LARGE PHARMA COMPANY) like I did above.

Since while I hate my job, I really like my paycheck, my employer will remain (UNAMED LARGE PHARMA COMPANY).

Must go blow something up now, Happy July everyone.

it was ok but you didn't come out with another segment of hellbender. that would have made it great

Nice bike ride early in the morning. After that, I baked bread, which was good, then waited from 12:30 pm until 2:00 pm for a conference call to start. It lasted more than two hours, and consisted largely of a client telling me that he didn't like the way I was calculating some values in a financial model that he'll be taking to some venture capitalists, but refusing to tell me what he would like. Given the choice between that two-plus hours of billable time and two-plus hours of, say, taking a nap, I'll choose the nap every time.

Good weekend to sit back and enjoy a nice corncob pipe. But I don't smoke so it's just sittig here with eighteen inches of inch thick steel waiting for ......ahhhhhh there it is. The scent of hippy, or is that two hobos or did a dog just take a dump? Well have a fun Fourth all but right now it's clobberin' time.

The barrel in my 1911 kind of looks like a little pipe, with a link hanging on it.

If I pistol-whip a leftist, is that the same thing then?

mmm, nothing like involuntary mind opening via blunt force trauma

What a waste of pie! Hit them with something else, like Reality. And how is hitting them with a pie Ironic? Oh, and
I'm fine, btw. Thanks for asking!

As long as the pipe is not made of the same kind of paper of Satam Al Suqami's passport "found" in WTC's debris.
What should have been made of the same kind of paper?- Flight 93´s black boxes.

Cry Wolf - take a pill. If nothing improbable ever happened, the world would be REALLY boring...and you'd have never learned to walk upright.

Gunga, you mean improbable or downright impossible?
What comes to mind aparently unrelated?
JFK´s magic bullet? The world would be extremely boring were not for this kind of alternate physics stuff to happen.
All hail the prophet´s miracles.

There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio...or are you just anglin' for a good whack to the head from a pipe?