(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)

Figured I should follow the lead of the New York Times and start revealing Israel's covert ops, since it's the hip & trendy thing to do when a nation battles terrorists:

* Secretly plant an anti-Semitic parrot in Mel Gibson's house to make him look bad.

* Refer to the terrorists as "tar babies". If they get offended, apologize by saying "We're sorry if our thick Israeli accents made you cry-babies misunderstand what we said."

* Use the Force.

* Develop new head-exploding sonic weapon that transmits a focused beam of Fran Drescher's hideous voice.

* Refuse to negotiate for the release of hostages, but hint that they might be willing to haggle a bit.

* Institute policy of deliberately targeting innocent Lebanese civilians who get paid by Hezbollah to fire rockets into Israel.

* Have IDF stop toying with the terrorists and switch their swords to their right hands.

* Threaten terrorists with ICBM's (Intercontinental Ballistic Mohels)

* As Arabs try to push Israel into the sea, back up real quick and laugh when they fall on their faces.

* Feed Popeye some spinach and tell him Bluto is holding Olive Oyl prisoner in Lebanon.

* Kill terrorists 9 at a time with Ginsu Menorah.

* Get Kos to pick the terrorists to win.

...how they're going to die.

• Currently 3.25/5
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10

Rating: 3.3/5 (6 votes cast)

Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | Stumble It!