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August 08, 2006
A Solution to Conflict in the Middle East
Posted by Frank J. at 10:54 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (12)

There just seems to be no end to the warring in the Middle East. Just a thought: But has any international organization thought of passing a non-binding resolution that there should be peace? If not, I think they should get working on it before anyone else dies.

IDEAS FOR WORDING IN THE RESOLUTION:

* It would be really nice if every didn't shoot each other.

* Or blow each other up.

* Or kidnap people.

* But, if for some reason someone does, it's no reason to get all miffed and retaliate.

* Also, it would really help if one side of this conflict stopped being Jews.

Any other ideas for wording in the resolution to help it bring peace?

Rating: 4.0/5 (2 votes cast)

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12 Responses To "A Solution to Conflict in the Middle East"

If Israel just gave Jihad a chance, this war would be over and no more innocent lebanese and hezbolah lives would be lost.

#1 - Posted by: Hawk on August 8, 2006 11:13 AM

Have the Jews even tried living in the sea?

#2 - Posted by: spacemonkey on August 8, 2006 11:22 AM

//Any other ideas for wording in the resolution to help it bring peace?//

...at least until Jesus comes back...

I think if they are REALLY serious about maintaining a peaceful stance, they should make Al Gore their president...

(snork...giggle...hrm...)

#3 - Posted by: shimauma on August 8, 2006 11:26 AM

always say "please" and "thank you", or perhaps "praise Allah".

#4 - Posted by: Silicon Valley on August 8, 2006 11:43 AM

We surveyed a hundred Muslim households and asked them to give us an answer to this question...

"What is the solution for peace in the Middle East?"

Survey says, "Kill the Jews!"


There's no way to begin peace. Not when it's an entire religion based on the desire to murder entire people groups.

#5 - Posted by: GT on August 8, 2006 11:57 AM

"or else, we will pass another non-binding resolution and elevate the matter to our friends at the New York Times."

#6 - Posted by: Gun Nut on August 8, 2006 12:15 PM

How about: "I'm rubber, you're glue. We don't care what you say. Death to the Joooooooos!" I think that captures the Hezbo position quite nicely.

Whatever became of the notion of having a 51st state? You know, Saudi-Israelia? Peace in the Middle East, three SUVs in every driveway...what's the down side?

#7 - Posted by: Gunga on August 8, 2006 01:03 PM

Turning Tehran into a glassy parking lot is out I guess, although I am sure that things would get quieter in the Middle East towards Israel afterwards, once they announced: "Next?"

#8 - Posted by: Writer on August 8, 2006 01:21 PM

//"or else, we will pass another non-binding resolution and elevate the matter to our friends at the New York Times."

Posted by: Gun Nut on August 8, 2006 12:15 PM //

That crazy UN, always making up resolutions and stuff...I remember that one time....

#9 - Posted by: shimauma on August 8, 2006 01:33 PM

I like the 51st state idea. Or at least we could declare Israel an Indian reservation & then they could have Muslim-themed casinos.

#10 - Posted by: AlanABQ on August 8, 2006 01:34 PM

//Have the Jews even tried living in the sea?//

Yes the Jews did try living in the sea but it didn't work out. It seems that Moses' brother Aaron was actually Aquaman and was leading the Israelites from Egypt to live in the Red Sea. Unfortunately Moses found out, parted the water, and the rest is history.

#11 - Posted by: Moneyman on August 8, 2006 01:50 PM

"Keep dissing America; it's not like they'll actually make good on their threats, leave the UN and sell the UNO building to Wal-Mart!"

/actual suggestion

#12 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on August 8, 2006 03:55 PM
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