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August 15, 2006
I Want Numbers
Posted by Frank J. at 11:18 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (25)

It seems like we barely get updates on the war on terror these days. Yeah, it's cool to hear about schools being built and elections and what-not, but I really want to know how many @#$%ers we kill each day. I mean, this is my tax money at work. Each day, we should get an estimated terrorist death count. And, if the numbers start to drop, we'll know to demand an explanation.

Really, how hard would it be for the government to supply us with that? i should write my Congressman and see if he'll propose the bill...

Rating: 0.5/5 (1 vote cast)

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25 Responses To "I Want Numbers"

When I get to Baghdad next month, I will tally and report.

Thanks FrankJ!

#1 - Posted by: Jay on August 15, 2006 11:33 AM

// I really want to know how many @#$%ers we kill each day. I mean, this is my tax money at work.//

First off, does this count the one I have buried under my carport? Second, I didn't know I could get tax money for killing the @#$%ers!! Is it like some government grant I have to apply for? Do liberal/socialist college punks count as @#$%ers and can I get money for killing them?

#2 - Posted by: shimauma on August 15, 2006 11:40 AM

Dear Frank J,

Numbers of dead terrorists from this administration? They can't even kill the top terrorists because they suck so bad. Instead they start the wrong war and free all the hezbollah supporting shias in Southern Iraq. We got tricked by Iran to start that war and now Iran is more powerful because of it. So dumb. Face it the republicans have had six years and they have failed us and the majority of usa peeps know it. That's why they will lose the house in November. Incompetence and loserness does not win elections. I wish the fiscally conservative republicans would have shown up instead of these pathetic losers.

P.S. shimauma is a lying dork

#3 - Posted by: helloimau on August 15, 2006 12:06 PM

Shimauma-

Yes, liberal/socialist college punks, as well as hippies, count as @#$%ers. In an ideal world, we would not only get money for killing them, we would also earn frequent flier miles and valuable prestige points that could be applied toward special rewards, such as new cars, high caliber weapons, and dates with beautiful celebrities.

Sadly, we don't live in an ideal world.

#4 - Posted by: Rick on August 15, 2006 12:11 PM

Rick,
I like the reward points idea for killing @#$%ers.

"One more dead terrorist, and I can get a cool bomber jacket!"

#5 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 15, 2006 12:29 PM

//P.S. shimauma is a lying dork

Posted by: helloimau on August 15, 2006 12:06 PM //

helloimau, I didn't realize that asking questions made me a liar, and adding the entitlement "dork" was just so immature I only have the obvious response...SO'S YOUR FACE!

... I love Scrubs...

#6 - Posted by: shimauma on August 15, 2006 12:55 PM

"... I love Scrubs..."

As do all other good people.

#7 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 15, 2006 12:57 PM

Frank,
It seems as if the trolls have infested this place this week. Do you really think they are different ones, or are they all sock puppets sent by the evil Glenn to drive away your traffic? They certainly sound real, since they make allegations without proof, but any semi-literate fifteen year old could do the same.

#8 - Posted by: Writer on August 15, 2006 01:00 PM

Writer,
It does seem like there are more lately, and I don't know where they are coming from. I feel like should spray the place or something.

#9 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 15, 2006 01:01 PM

All the trolls around here are really Frank J. trying to create controversy and release his dark side.

#10 - Posted by: SilverBubble on August 15, 2006 01:05 PM

Unless it's Spacemonkey, Harvey, RWD, Lair, or some other writer here that I forgot. Or all of them.

But personally, I prefer to blame the Jooooo.

#11 - Posted by: SilverBubble on August 15, 2006 01:05 PM

I realize this is a little off topic but this article at Drudge may explain why there's such and infux of stinky trumpeting vegetarians tromping all over your site, Frank.

#12 - Posted by: shimauma on August 15, 2006 01:23 PM

//such and infux //

:snicker:

This phrase was meant to be "such an influx"

Fumble fingers, sorry...:giggle:

#13 - Posted by: shimauma on August 15, 2006 01:24 PM

I for one do not believe that all of the Trolls are one individual, although three or more trolls posing as 6 or 7 individuals could be the case.

The styles are just so different, but consistent within each major troll, that I doubt anyone with the skill to pull off both the calm idiocy of MFL and simultaneously the foaming at the mouth rants of a Babs and the almost grasping coherence but not quite of the new loser (yes that is you helloimau) would be dumb enough to get their fun being a troll.

In any case, I was the one who asked FrankJ to work on attracting more and better Trolls. He definitely got the more down, now we just need to work on the quality.

#14 - Posted by: Brian the Adequate on August 15, 2006 02:11 PM

I like the trolls who live under bridges and get butted by billy goats.

#15 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on August 15, 2006 02:14 PM

Jim,
That's what I need: Billy Goats Gruff!

Now where do I get billy goats, especially those of the Gruff variety?

#16 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 15, 2006 02:16 PM

I believe that you can find the accounting of dead terrorists on page one of the NY Times. Look under the heading "Freedom Fighters Slaughtered by Bigoted US Mercenaries." There are no gruff billy goats for sale on e-bay though. Still looking.

Shimauma - A little Freudian slip always makes the day brighter.

#17 - Posted by: Moneyman on August 15, 2006 02:27 PM

Now where do I get billy goats, especially those of the Gruff variety?

At Goats-R-Us, or, if you prefer drive-throughs, Goats In a Box.

Actually, the folks who maintain the parklands next to SF Bay use goats to crop the vegegation.

#18 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on August 15, 2006 02:36 PM

Frank J.,
Here in Chicago we have the Billy Goat Tavern (as portrayed on SNL a long time ago), but you can't get billy goats there, since their specialty is "Cheezborger! Cheezborger! Cheezborger!"

No fries - cheeps.

#19 - Posted by: kya on August 15, 2006 03:44 PM

We need a nice tot board.

#20 - Posted by: spacemonkey on August 15, 2006 04:16 PM

SpaceMonkey - I have some tater tots...will they do?

#21 - Posted by: Gunga on August 15, 2006 04:40 PM

Gunga, sure. IF they are lightly seasoned.

#22 - Posted by: spacemonkey on August 15, 2006 05:08 PM

To get back to the troll report-- it isn't a full (fool) moon out is it.
No instututions (crazy places) have had breakouts.
School of course hasn't started yet, so those of a more adolesent milue don't have to go to bed early.
Micheal MOOre and Cindy Screamham haven't waxed eloquent or burped the alphabet lately so.....
I don't know. I must say I find them LOL funny. It's hard to believe that anyone could be that out of touch with reality. Must be gooooooooood drugs.

#23 - Posted by: seanmahair on August 15, 2006 10:14 PM

Frank: Unfortunately the Arabs are jealously guarding the world's supply of billy goats. They have silently been buying the world's supply of goats as we have been distracted killing *@&#^%ing terrorists. Since they ran out of virgins the only ceptable substitute for the mustachioed mullah-humping mamas is the goat, since all the camels have bee defrocked.

#24 - Posted by: captamerica on August 16, 2006 09:11 AM

Spacemonkey - Is there any other kind? ...but, ummm, er...I ate 'em.

#25 - Posted by: Gunga on August 16, 2006 10:25 AM
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