Once again, it's time for my wisdom. Sit back, read, and be ensmartened.

Gunga asks:
If two women came to you and both claimed to be the mother of the same baby, how would you resolve the conflict?

I'd put the baby up for auction on eBay. Obviously, the real mother would love the baby more and be the highest bidder. Even if it doesn't play out that way, I should at least make a decent profit.

Serious bidders only, please.

SkyeChild writes:
Who's on first?

Exactly!

Son of Bob asks:
Was Bill Clinton really the President of the United States or were my friends just playing a really sick joke?

It's a bit of both, really. Practical jokes can be funny, but that one did go a bit far. At least, generations from now, people should be able to read in their history books about those eight years and laugh... and they may need a laugh with all the mutant cyborgs destroying everything.

Nick asks:
Where are you going to get new readers from if we don't ask good enough questions?

Probably the mall. There are lots of people at the mall.

GEBIV writes:
Do you have any plans for nuking any of the other planets' moons? I mean Phobos and Deimos are puny little things that hardly have the right to be called moons anyways... hmmmm.... did I just stumble into the real reason for the NASA Mars plans?

I like Phobos and Deimos. They're where the Doom computer games took place. Also, they don't conform to the boring, unoriginal round shape like most other natural satellites. Plus, Phobos is daring, orbiting Mars closer than any other moon in our solar system. Were you to stand on Phobos and look at Mars, it would take up one quarter of the sky. Now that would be a cool sight.

So Phobos and Deimos are cool, and there is not strategic advantage to nuking them. Thus, your question is stupid and so are you.

Sherry L. asks:
How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They don't change light bulbs. They just shake their fists in the darkness while blaming the "joooos" for their misfortune. Then, unable to see, one stumbles and accidentally sets off one of their bombs, killing them all. It's not really a punch line, but it's still funny.

Scott R asks:
What is the cube root of tapioca?

That's it; I'm going to the mall.

If you have questions for me (good ones) put them in the comments or stand by the Orange Julius and shout them at me as I walk by.

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