 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
September 18, 2006
Whiny Whiny Murderous Islamists
They murder people, the scream havoc, but you merely prick them and they whine and sob greater than any two-year-old. So, because Islamists were called violent murderers, they whine and cry and then they violently murder people. That was funny in an ironic sort of way the first one hundred times it happened. Anyway, if you're not familiar with what Pope Benedict XVI that got all the Islamists' panties in a bunch, here it is: I would like to address the Islamic religion by first saying [expletive deleted]. The prophet of Islam, the [expletive deleted] Mohammed, was best known for [expletives and vulgar references to sodomy and farm animals deleted]. Now, I know some Muslims may get violent for me saying this, but what else can you expect from those [expletive deleted] other than [expletives and vulgar and extremely explicit description of bestiality deleted]. And, frankly, I feel most sorry for the goats. Now, that statement could have been the start to a serious discussion about Islam and its role in the modern world, but, inevitably, crazy Islamist just found this as another excuse to burn things and kill people - and, really what else do those guys have to do other than that and that thing the pope mentioned with handcuffs and the camel? Now, some expect the pope to apologize, but that would be extremely disingenuous since Benedict obviously thinks Mohammed was full of [expletive deleted], or he wouldn't be the pope. So that leaves the Islamists to rioting and killing until they tucker themselves out. And who's the winner of all this? The Jews; finally they get a week or so to relax while the Islamists temporarily find something else to hate. And what is left for us to do? One thing: CAPTION CONTEST!
Have at it in the comments. 114 Responses To "Whiny Whiny Murderous Islamists"
I demand my binky and my ba-ba! Hajji Tie-tie! SLAYER!! Guess what I am holding in my hand! GUESS!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave-Maaaaaaaariiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! #1 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on September 18, 2006 11:20 AMIslam is the religion of peace! (And fisting your sister, but mostly peace!) Islam is the religion of peace you devil worshiping zionist controlled puppet! You take that back! Islam is too the religion of peace! Take that back or I'll give you a knuckle sandwich! I'll get you my pretty (pope) and your little nun to! Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! #2 - Posted by: mwolv93 on September 18, 2006 11:25 AMI will dismember anyone who accuses me of being violent! #3 - Posted by: Writer on September 18, 2006 11:26 AMWhat do you mean the hair in this fake beard didn't come from your head? Goats! Goats! Goats Rule! Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar. All for Ahmed stand up and holler! Skin to win! I did not have sex with that pig, Miss Oinkinsky. #4 - Posted by: Moneyman on September 18, 2006 11:27 AMAP - Sept 17, 2006 Beirut, Lebanon - Concert-goers cheer in the mosh pit during the performance of headlining act the Dixie Chicks at the "Pope on a Rope 2006" benefit concert sponsored by Hezbollah this weekend. Rumors that opening act Sinead O'Connor was killed by concert-goers when they realized she was ordained in a fringe Catholic sect were dismissed by Hezbollah spokesmen as evil Israeli propaganda. #5 - Posted by: IllTemperedCur on September 18, 2006 11:29 AMIT'S TIME TO FIGHT, FOR THE RIGHT, TO JEEEEEE-HAAAAAAD! #6 - Posted by: Kay on September 18, 2006 11:33 AMCultivating on his face what grows wild on his ass. #7 - Posted by: FormerHostage on September 18, 2006 11:34 AMOompa Loompa FREE BIRD!!!! #9 - Posted by: FormerHostage on September 18, 2006 11:37 AMI want my MTV! I am TOO as monkey-faced as any liberal! #11 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on September 18, 2006 11:39 AMGuy in back with green headband, "Holy crap Ahmed! Either break out the soap or drop you arm!!! Jeeeeeeze!" "Tastes Great!" "Less Killing!" #13 - Posted by: Infidel Castrol on September 18, 2006 11:57 AMROCK BEATS SCISSORS I TELL YOU!!! #14 - Posted by: db on September 18, 2006 11:59 AM" I tore off my own testicles!" #15 - Posted by: Joe Mama on September 18, 2006 12:06 PMLet's talk. #16 - Posted by: coachbob on September 18, 2006 12:06 PMKhaaaaaannnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!! #17 - Posted by: Veeshir on September 18, 2006 12:23 PMMy Area sports team is superior to your area sports team. #18 - Posted by: Denny on September 18, 2006 12:23 PMVote Democrat! Yeeeaaarrrgh! #19 - Posted by: Andrew C on September 18, 2006 12:25 PMGOOOOOAAAAAAAAL! #20 - Posted by: ry on September 18, 2006 12:27 PM"Hello. I will also rape your daughters and kill all of your sons. Have a nice day. WE! MAKE! HOLES IN TEETH! #23 - Posted by: ry on September 18, 2006 12:30 PMYou have insulted Islam FrankJ. Now bring back Hellbender or you will suffer death from my religion of peace. #24 - Posted by: loomdog on September 18, 2006 12:39 PMTastes great!... Less Filling! looks like a scene from a Planet of the Apes sequel. #26 - Posted by: mojo9 on September 18, 2006 12:45 PMI refuse to shave until someone comes up with a seven bladed razor! #27 - Posted by: keith on September 18, 2006 01:09 PM"Even when Ackhmed isn't taking the photo, his fingers still obscure someone's face" #28 - Posted by: Martel on September 18, 2006 01:10 PM"It's the Telephone Pole! RUN! Oh, wait, that one died and it's now a Telephone German?" #29 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on September 18, 2006 01:12 PMAAAAAAAAAALLAHdammit my ass hurts!!! No, don't stop!! We must continue to the holy shrine at Broq'baqh Mountain or Allah will smite our pelvises. #30 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 18, 2006 01:12 PM"What in Allah's name are you sticking up my bung hole?!?!" #31 - Posted by: James on September 18, 2006 01:16 PMFor the last time, it's po-TAH-to! #32 - Posted by: BillyHW on September 18, 2006 01:19 PM... and then were going to DC and not stopping until we take back the White House. Yaaaarrrrrggggg !!!!! #33 - Posted by: gaskar on September 18, 2006 01:27 PMWriter took my idea for a caption! islamic extremist screaming "I'm not too violent!!! My religion's not too violent!! and if you say otherwise I'll kill you dead!!" Since my idea got stolen, maybe I should follow the extremist example of rage and trash my cubicle... #34 - Posted by: shimauma on September 18, 2006 01:27 PMThere is not an arm growing out of my head! #35 - Posted by: Jacob on September 18, 2006 01:29 PMU.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! I don't have anger issues! I command you, my beard: GROW!!!! Everyone, look! I made a fist! #36 - Posted by: brandEn on September 18, 2006 01:30 PMJ-E-T-S JETS! JETS JETS! #38 - Posted by: on September 18, 2006 01:45 PMMy Hemmies! What a wedgie! #39 - Posted by: Writer on September 18, 2006 01:52 PMAchmed: Ewww, you got fist in my rectum! *in a hate-filled voice* "JOOOOOOOS!!!!" Watch, I can swallow this fist. #43 - Posted by: on September 18, 2006 02:05 PMMore proof that it was wise of the producers not to include a group of Muslems in this season's Survivor! Good one Spacemonkey. #45 - Posted by: Veeshir on September 18, 2006 02:15 PMFrom the AP: A peaceful group of totally indigenous French youths gather to speak peacefully in protest to the hateful papist rhetoric directed toward the religion of peace. Achmed Mullah Hajji Sheik Mohhammed, a totally French youth from suburban Paris made some comments, but the translator had been separated from the reoprter during the course of this totally peaceful gathering. #46 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on September 18, 2006 02:18 PMI got a little black book wit' me poems in!!! #47 - Posted by: Tuning Spork on September 18, 2006 02:24 PMVeeshir, thanks. Which one did you mean? #48 - Posted by: spacemonkey on September 18, 2006 02:39 PMI am cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!! (and indoor plumbing too) #50 - Posted by: dirtshirt on September 18, 2006 02:48 PMLook! I have an opposable thumb! #51 - Posted by: Franklin on September 18, 2006 02:51 PM"You got chocolate in my peanut butter!" "You got peanut butter on my chocolate!" "You're both infidels! DIE!" #52 - Posted by: keith on September 18, 2006 03:11 PM"I'd walk a kilometer to bugger a camel!" #53 - Posted by: The Great Santini on September 18, 2006 03:20 PM"BraaaaaArmy training sir!" #54 - Posted by: John Winger on September 18, 2006 03:22 PM"Boy can that Itzhak Perlman fiddle! Itzie rocks! Where's my lighter, who's got the bong?" #55 - Posted by: captamerica on September 18, 2006 03:24 PMSecretary-General Kofi Annan, shown here on holiday, unwittingly adds to the overwhelming sea of evidence that operation "Nuke The Moon" should have been implemented 25 years ago! #56 - Posted by: Rob K on September 18, 2006 03:26 PM"I am a nice, happy person and I'll kill you if you say differently!" "I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner!" "Where's the beef?!" #57 - Posted by: Steve the Pirate on September 18, 2006 03:48 PMMy goat is better than your goat, I swallow!!! #59 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on September 18, 2006 03:53 PMEnraged Muslim Eagles fans call for the beheading of Eli Manning. #60 - Posted by: Donny Baseball on September 18, 2006 03:55 PM"He's fat! He's Scouse! He'll rob your f**kin' house! Wayne Rooney!" #62 - Posted by: Damian P. on September 18, 2006 03:59 PMWhat makes the Chupacabra so dangerous is that whatever they get in their fist goes straight into their mouth. #63 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 18, 2006 04:13 PMAdrian!!! Mendoza!!! Damnit!! I'm not going to a lot for this hemeroid cream!! #64 - Posted by: Rick on September 18, 2006 04:31 PMTwo new XXX features for your viewing pleasure… Wonderjihadist powers-ACTIVATE! form of...suicide bomber #66 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on September 18, 2006 05:14 PM72 VIRGIN GOATS!!!!! #69 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on September 18, 2006 05:35 PMWow, looks like everyone already stated the good ones, but how about... WE'RE NOT HOMOSEXUALS! WE'RE GOAT-O-SEXUALS!! I find your lack of faith dis- I find your lack of faith disturbing. D*mn! It worked in Star Wars. DRAGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Rocky IV) I SAID PULL MY FINGER! PULL IT! PULL IIIIIIIIIITT!!!! GUESS WHICH HAND THE SHAMPOO BOMB IS IN!!! I NEED A DENTIST NOW!!!! YOU THINK MY BEARD IS BAD, YOU SHOULD SEE MY SISTER'S!!!! YOU LIKE MY BEARD? I CALL IT THE GOAT-TICKLER!!!! #70 - Posted by: Screaming Eagle on September 18, 2006 05:54 PMNuke the Moon! Nuke the m..what? Oh sorry. Nuke the Pope! Nuke the Pope! #71 - Posted by: Moneyman on September 18, 2006 05:55 PMooooooooooklahoma, where the wind comes shootin down the plains... #72 - Posted by: Chuck on September 18, 2006 06:04 PMI LOOOOOOVE YOU MAN!!! Please join our cause for world peace. Allah wants you and me to be friends! Islam is a religion of luv, sweet luv, and I luv you soooo much that I'd be willing to give up your life to prove it. #75 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 18, 2006 06:24 PMFlying monkeys of the world unite! #76 - Posted by: Judith M. on September 18, 2006 06:25 PMOkay, louder this time kids or he won't come out on stage: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big... #77 - Posted by: Son of Bob on September 18, 2006 06:27 PMI am a pathetic Muslim freak ... please shot me repeatedly with a large caliber rifle. #78 - Posted by: io on September 18, 2006 06:30 PMThe cast of Iranian Idol perform the group ensemble number. This week the theme was "Broadway Musicals" and the talented kids performed a spirited medley of songs from "Rent." #79 - Posted by: Son of Bob on September 18, 2006 06:34 PMNuke us 'till we glow! Nuke us 'till we glow! Gummie Bears! Gummie Bears! Hah! Nobody expects the Islamic Inquisition! Henh..heh henh...I am Cornholio! I need T.P. for my bunghole! A.C.L.U.! A.C.L.U.! That's why we're able to kill you! Mad? Of course we're mad! We have sand in our butt cracks and we're not even able to masterbate! #80 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on September 18, 2006 07:46 PMFiiiiiiiiiiiii-garo! Figaro figaro figaro figaro! #81 - Posted by: El Santo on September 18, 2006 07:51 PMDeath to the infidels!! See what they did to my hand with their unholy goat-porn!!! #82 - Posted by: right on September 18, 2006 08:03 PMAnd after we saw your head off we will do the Macarena as we scatter your body parts across the streets. #83 - Posted by: Bangalore on September 18, 2006 08:03 PMONLY SIX MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL RAMADAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!! #84 - Posted by: joe cool on September 18, 2006 08:08 PMEvil joo doctors LIE!! Do these beard-plugs look natural to you? I have received no refund!! JIHAD! JIHAD! #85 - Posted by: right on September 18, 2006 08:13 PMI attended anger management class, and all I got was this fugly beard!!! #86 - Posted by: Brian the sailor on September 18, 2006 09:32 PMNO ONE calls me violent and lives!! #87 - Posted by: right on September 18, 2006 09:47 PM"I'll kill anyone who gets in the way of me killing anyone."
NO! You Go Fuck YOUR Camel. #89 - Posted by: Jim R on September 18, 2006 10:12 PMI'm NOT going to pay a lot for this muffler! #90 - Posted by: ry on September 18, 2006 11:15 PMBARK, BARK, BARK, BARK...ARRR...ARRRRRRRRR...RUFF, RUFF, RUFF! (camera 1: zoom in on foam dripping from peaceful savage's boy beard). #91 - Posted by: lubs on September 18, 2006 11:57 PMWould you buy a used camel from this guy? *paid for by the Committee to Elect Ali head Death-Cult Cheerleader* #92 - Posted by: right on September 18, 2006 11:58 PMBY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL... I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!! #93 - Posted by: Braden on September 19, 2006 12:37 AMSell! SELL!!! I SAID SELL - dammit, Achmed, it was your job to know ahead of time that goats were a bear market! Oh no, it's PETA! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! #94 - Posted by: someguy on September 19, 2006 01:01 AM"Why be a Christian infidel when you can be filled with peace and tranquility like me?" "Come closer and feel the great love that I have for you, o my brother . . . " "Do you think I need medical attention for my tonsils?" #95 - Posted by: SeizeTheDay on September 19, 2006 02:38 AM"ZIDANE! YOU CAMEL BRAIN! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!!" #96 - Posted by: eric on September 19, 2006 03:14 AMBELLLLLLLLLCH!!! #97 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 19, 2006 04:04 AM"I feel pretty, oh so pretty..." #98 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 19, 2006 04:12 AMPROZAC?!? I DON'T NEED NO STINKING PROZAC!!! This is your brain. This is your brain on Islam. Any questions? ADMIT MY RELIGION IS THE ONE OF PEACE OR I WILL KILL YOU!!! Hello. May I please have a moment of your time to talk to you about the great and peaceful prophet Mohammed and how he can change your life? No? DIE INFIDEL! Question: do you think a good F/A-18 pilot could put a laser guided munition right in that guys mouth? #99 - Posted by: on September 19, 2006 04:48 AMYou make my brown eye blue. #100 - Posted by: sean quixote on September 19, 2006 06:37 AM"IT'S IN THE HOLE!!!!!!" #101 - Posted by: mojo9 on September 19, 2006 08:29 AMGuy in front: Green headband guy: Why is there never a suicide vest available when you need one? #103 - Posted by: Writer on September 19, 2006 08:59 AM"Mr. Pope, are you listening? I will kill you for saying that thing about having said the other thing will make me want to kill you! False claims of islamic murderous rage will be met with islamic murderous rage! And my cousin Muhammed told me you also said that muslims sodomize goats! Now, I don't know what sodomize means, but ... WHAAAAAaaaa... (trails off into soft, but high pitched squeal)... (after a few moments)... oh, nevermind, that one's spot on." #104 - Posted by: scotty on September 19, 2006 12:19 PMCrowd at annual Muhammed Gras celebration, after succesfully getting a female pedestrian to lift her burka after chanting "SHOW YOUR ***S! SHOW YOUR ***S!", were horrified at what they saw when she did. #105 - Posted by: scotty on September 19, 2006 12:25 PMWhen "crazy eyes" goes to a whole new level. #106 - Posted by: scotty on September 19, 2006 03:42 PMIs that an IED up your (expletive deleted) or are you just hating me? #107 - Posted by: on September 20, 2006 01:17 AM"The Fist and the Furry Ass" #108 - Posted by: ChiefKickingAss on September 20, 2006 04:42 AMMy but that unclean, infidel dog looks angry...VERY angry. #109 - Posted by: Vitamin Tom on September 20, 2006 12:51 PMTOM JONES RUUULLLLEEESSSSS!! #110 - Posted by: NM on September 20, 2006 03:52 PMVote for Kerry. #111 - Posted by: Jared on September 20, 2006 11:37 PM"WE WILL NOT GIVE UP!" yelled a red faced Muhammed Dean in front of cheering supporters. "WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK! AND CALIFORNIA! AND WASHINGTON! AND MINNESOTA! AND OHIO! YEAGH!!!" (Cutting and pasting shamelessly from early IMAO work...) #112 - Posted by: scotty on September 21, 2006 12:08 AMI want some Tang!!! The orange stuff you sicko..... #113 - Posted by: Robert_J on September 21, 2006 12:08 PMAAAAARRR! No more Habanero Cheese Balls! I'm shitting Allah and Mohammed at the same time!!! #114 - Posted by: R LaBonte on September 24, 2006 01:23 AMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
