IMAO: The 61st United Nations General Assembly Drinking Game

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September 18, 2006

The 61st United Nations General Assembly Drinking Game

Posted by Laurence Simon at 03:11 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (19)

Well, it's that time of year again... The United Nations General Assembly meets for the 61th time. This means there will be the usual parade of dictators, despots, and death-dealers lining up to shriek, bitch, and beg.

Now I proposed a few fun games to play two years ago, and I even got a drinking game together for #60, but times change... and the anti-American/anti-Semitic UN doesn't!

Here we go again:

THE 61ST GENERAL ASSEMBLY DRINKING GAME

Drink for each of the following:

A speaker tries to speak English. Badly. (Includes George Bush)
A speaker mentions being in New York City, site of 9/11 (Includes George Bush)
A speaker shows up in full tribal dress (Triple if it's George Bush)
A speaker denounces the American government. (Double if they're a recipient of American foreign aid)
A speaker denounces the Israeli government. (No bonus if it's the Israeli representative himself, double if it is a government that is currently occupying territory: Turkey in Kurdistan, Spain in Morocco, England in Gibraltar, etc.)
A speaker praises a fellow dead dictator. (ie Hitler, Castro, Dan Rather)
A speaker praises Kofi Annan. (Double if it's Kofi Annan)
A speaker whines about an old grudge. (ie Azerbaijan vs. Armenia, Turks vs. Greeks or Greek Cypriots, Roger Waters vs. his medication)
A speaker "shows solidarity" with Iraqis, but their country hasn't lifted a damn finger to help them.
A speaker "shows solidarity" with Lebanese, but their country hasn't lifted a damn finger to help them.

Chug:

Video shows Arabs/Muslims walking out before Israel speaks.
A speaker demands Kofi Annan gets re-elected to a third term as Secretary General.
A shoe or other form of footwear is pounded on the podium.
Hezbollah, Al-Qaida and Viacom send representatives to speak at the podium.
Someone says "Sofia Loren's in her seventies, and she's still hot!"
A formal declaration of war is made from the podium.
The Twelfth Imam emerges from under the podium, wipes his mouth, and says "One hundred and eightythree! Beat that, Elton John!"

Any other rules I should add?

Oh, and feel free to study last year's archive of speeches to study what this collective bunch of bastards love to whine about. Not only does the webcast let you see the unedited (ie uncensored by AP and Reuters) whining from around the world, but you can watch the proceedings at your liesure to avoid having to drink while at work.

Unless you want to drink while at work.

Currently 1.25/5
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Rating: 1.3/5 (2 votes cast)

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19 Responses To "The 61st United Nations General Assembly Drinking Game"

Lair, everyone would end up with alcohol poisoning if they followed your rules.

#1 - Posted by: sarahk on September 18, 2006 03:46 PM

The UN the AXIS OF HYPOCRACY while they join in fancy dinners to curd world hunger they go to RIO in jets and limos to attend the big EARTH SUMMIT then they meet around the 4th of JULY with armed guards for world wide gun control we dont need this damn UN anymore

#2 - Posted by: BIRDZILLA on September 18, 2006 03:59 PM

Wow. A drinking game where you through up before you get drunk. Brilliant!!!

#3 - Posted by: DohXs on September 18, 2006 04:05 PM

Death dealers? Does that mean Kate Beckinsale will be there?

#4 - Posted by: Chris on September 18, 2006 04:17 PM

Drink for any of the following words:

hegemony, Zionism (or, e.g., Zionism), conspiracy, aggression, indiscriminate

#5 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on September 18, 2006 04:41 PM

Chris-

No. Kate Beckinsale is WAY too hot for the UN. Think more along the lines of Brian Peppers.

#6 - Posted by: Rick on September 18, 2006 04:41 PM

that should have been "e.g., Zionist". Any form of the word "Zionism" counts, is what I was trying to say. "Global Zionist conspiracy" is two drinks.

#7 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on September 18, 2006 04:42 PM

Elton John? Sorry. Thought that was Albright. My bad.

#8 - Posted by: Casper the Friendly Host on September 18, 2006 05:49 PM

Hey, I'm only in my sixties! Why doesn't anybody think that I'm hot?

#9 - Posted by: Barbra Streisand on September 18, 2006 05:59 PM

Her Barbra,
What's REALLY hot is that huge resonating chamber on your face.

The UN drinking game is too hard. I prefer the Ted Kennedy Triathlon: drink, drive, swim. Each team requires two participants, one of which is sacrificial. Only single-malt scotch is allowed, and contestants are disqualified if caught with a lifejacket.

#10 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 18, 2006 06:29 PM

Hey Barbra,
What's REALLY hot is that huge resonating chamber on your face.

#11 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 18, 2006 06:29 PM

Tommy,
Bwahahaha! That is so wrong, yet so hilarious.

#12 - Posted by: James on September 18, 2006 08:27 PM

The Twelfth Imam emerges from under the podium, wipes his mouth, and says "One hundred and eightythree! Beat that, Elton John!"

They'll be after you once they're bored with Mr. Pope I tell you!

#13 - Posted by: Muslihoon on September 18, 2006 09:10 PM

I don't see how anyone would survive this drinking game. Alcohol poisoning deaths would abound if you even tried to keep up!

#14 - Posted by: on September 19, 2006 04:34 AM

I just woke up, they must be over. Are the dictators done yet or do I have to start over?

#15 - Posted by: Writer on September 19, 2006 08:47 AM

I heard on the AP this morning that President Bush said (very wisely) that US citizens don't have much use for the UN. Well Lair, your drinking game is proving him wrong.

#16 - Posted by: shimauma on September 19, 2006 08:51 AM

burp guzzle gulp burp

#17 - Posted by: Dragonlord on September 19, 2006 11:56 AM

how about if your administration gets overthrown while your at the confrence???

#18 - Posted by: tom on September 19, 2006 01:51 PM

//how about if your administration gets overthrown while your at the confrence???//

You know something about Thailand we don't know 'tom'?

(what happens in Bangkok, STAYS in Bangkok)...snicker...bangkok....

#19 - Posted by: shimauma on September 20, 2006 01:11 PM