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September 21, 2006
All Oil Companies Suck
Posted by sarahk at 01:23 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (30)

This I know, for the Bible tells me so. No wait, that's something else. Oh yes. Jesus loves me. But anyway, I know that all oil companies suck, because I feel it in my soul, whether the Bible says it or not.

But there is one that sucks more than all the rest. That one is Citgo. And we know why. Citgo is Hugo Chavez's baby. And yesterday, Hugo said that America is on its way down, "insh'allah" (God willing in Arabic). Citgo smells like sulfur.

I'll be honest. I'm not a boycotter. I'm just not. Sometimes I say it's because they don't work. You can't get big enough participation in a boycott to actually make it work. Plus, with a boycott of a nutjob like Chavez, some loony nutter on the left is going to round up all of his friend and the two of them are going to fill up their hybrids like twice a day at Citgo just to show their support for the great happy fun sunshiny place that is communism. Of course, driving the hybrids around to expend that gasoline between fillups will cause global warming and make the earth burn to cinders within 30 minutes, so then we won't have to worry about the threat of Iran and Al Qaeda anymore, so maybe a boycott will do some good.

The truth behind why I don't boycott is that I'm just lazy. Lazy lazy lazy. Boycotting requires work, it requires going out of your way, and in the case of food and products, it sometimes requires eating products that don't taste as good or consuming products that don't work as well. (As an aside, I do wear undies that are made in Israel. And to prove my point, yes. They're stinking uncomfortable and should be used by the CIA in interrogations of terror suspects.) And if I start boycotting every country that has a stupid leader or every cuckoo singer that comes out with their tongue hanging out of the side of their mouth saying that Bush personally drowned 6500 black people standing next to the levees in New Orleans, I'll be stuck wearing clothes made out of cotton I can grow in my own yard (I don't know the first thing about that!) and loading my mp3 player with recordings of myself singing "Hugo Chavez is a Big Fat Bobblehead".

But this is gasoline. Gasoline is gasoline. They can make all their little commercials and claims about how one gasoline is better than the next. Whatever. Cars are gonna fall apart no matter what gasoline you put in them. And it's only about another mile between the Citgo right next to our house and the next sucky oil company (bp).

Screw him. Screw Citgo. My boycott is on, you bobbleheaded pincushion.

(Frank, in case you are wondering, your boycott is on, too.)

Rating: 2.0/5 (3 votes cast)

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30 Responses To "All Oil Companies Suck"

This is one of your best posts yet SarahK. I wish that our lesislators had your intestinal fortitude and shared our rage. Perhaps then we would see legislation banning trade with Venezuela. Better yet, let's stick a 250% tariff on all products from his flea bitten country.

#1 - Posted by: Moneyman on September 21, 2006 01:31 PM

//(Frank, in case you are wondering, your boycott is on, too.) //

Aah Sarah, yer a wife after my own heart, and if Frank wants to keep peace in the household, he'd best pay attention. Well done my sister!

And in the spirit of your post I swear that all the shimauma household will drive past citgo until hugo chavez publically shoves that book up his bum.

Sarahk 2012!

#2 - Posted by: shimauma on September 21, 2006 01:36 PM

But I don't wanna boycott!

(grumbles)

#3 - Posted by: Frank J. on September 21, 2006 01:39 PM

Actually, with Citgo, it's more of a rapid pumping action, which I guess makes it some kind of super suck.

Does anyone else remeber those Citgo commercials with the dalmation at the end barking "Citgo. Says. Go!"?

They seem a little insidious now, don't they?

#4 - Posted by: Nuclear Siafu on September 21, 2006 01:42 PM

Frank you must, it's in the bible!!!

#5 - Posted by: Jeremy on September 21, 2006 01:51 PM

Jeremy's right Frank. It says in Ephesians "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his gas up for them."

#6 - Posted by: Moneyman on September 21, 2006 01:59 PM

I think the nearest Citgo Gas station is about 2,000 miles from here so it won't be to hard to boycott them. although i did hear on the radio last night that Hugo Chavez is giving away 5 million dollars worth of gas to Alaska villages to try and turn the people against Bush. Does it violate the boycott to take free gas from him?

#7 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on September 21, 2006 02:01 PM

Frank, if you go along with the boycott, you can use it as leverage to drag her to see "Beerfest"!

#8 - Posted by: BigEZ on September 21, 2006 02:03 PM

Body by Victoria underwear from Victoria's Secret is made in Israel and is quite comfy.

#9 - Posted by: Alice H on September 21, 2006 03:10 PM

Wow, you're a couple of hours behind my post on my site calling for a boycott of CITGO, but then again, you have a bigger readership than I do. Just glad to know we are all on the same page. CITGO is insidious around here (Tulsa), since they used to be headquartered about 3 blocks south of my present location.

#10 - Posted by: Beo on September 21, 2006 03:32 PM

Dont be fooled by the Jesus Jihadists !

There is no Jesus, no God, no Heaven and no Rapture 'round the corner.

You live, you die, you turn to dust.

NEXT !

#11 - Posted by: Jesus.blows on September 21, 2006 03:50 PM

We ummm, buy 20% of our oil from.... gulp.... VENEZUELA !!!

8)


carry on.

#12 - Posted by: takin.back.DA.HOUSE! on September 21, 2006 03:54 PM

I guess JB told me. He sure seems to be an authority on the subject. It's okay. I'll keep praying for you nonetheless.

#13 - Posted by: Moneyman on September 21, 2006 04:39 PM

//There is no Jesus, no God, no Heaven and no Rapture 'round the corner.

You live, you die, you turn to dust.//

Though in some cases like the last two commenters, you live, you post whiny leftard remarks about Jesus & Christian beliefs on a comment page about oil, then pat yourself on your spineless back & tell yourself that you really told those mean ol' Jesus freaks off.

Hopefully, you'll die sooner.

#14 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 21, 2006 04:44 PM

Not you, moneyman; the two previous.

#15 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 21, 2006 04:45 PM

//We ummm, buy 20% of our oil from.... gulp.... VENEZUELA !!!

Posted by takin.back.DA.HOUSE//


Yeah, but soon we'll be getting it for free.

Mwa Ha ha ha!!!

#16 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 21, 2006 04:50 PM

I be likin' that Hugo C. He done promised me some free gas fo' supportin' his sorry fat ass. I'll be needing it now that I just shot muhself in th' foot, careerwise.

#17 - Posted by: Danny "Commie-lover" Glover on September 21, 2006 04:55 PM

She's right - boycotts are pretty difficult, especially when there's a citgo located just as I turn on the road leading to my house. But ya know what makes boycotting easy? Burning down all local citgo stations! Can't support 'em when they're a smoldering rubble heap. BTW the timestamp on this post is my alibi.

#18 - Posted by: BTret on September 21, 2006 07:59 PM

There is one good use for Citgo gas...pour a few gallons over Hugo and light it. The flame color ought to tell us what weight oil he usues to slick back his hair.

#19 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on September 21, 2006 08:34 PM

Jesus.blows & takin.back.DA.HOUSE,

U dun tolt we conservtives god! finly sum folks wif intlgense i kan relat too. Kan i joint yur fane klub?
8-B

#20 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on September 21, 2006 08:43 PM

Since I have always found Citgo gas of inferior quality and their stations filthy, I have been ahead of the game. I can't remember the last time I bought that brand of gas. That said I firmly support this boycott. Sarah K you are my new heroine.

As far as Mr.
//There is no Jesus, no God, no Heaven and no Rapture 'round the corner.//
You sir, are a do do head ( I figured I would answer that post in the same vein as it was posted- Na na na na nana.) My Jesus says I have to pray for you. I'll do it but I won't like it.

#21 - Posted by: seanmahair on September 21, 2006 10:13 PM

Greetings from car-crazy Los Angeles, where not all of us are liberal idiots. No, really. But we do buy lots and lots of gas.

Unfortunately, we don't have Citgo stations to boycott here. Fortunately, the station locator function on Citgo's website alerted me to some 7-11's in some lower rent suburbs that they're somehow affiliated with. Places like Pico Rivera, Commerce, El Monte and Inglewood. Citgo wouldn't be targeting the less advantaged, would they?

Hope this link works.

#22 - Posted by: Melissa on September 21, 2006 11:00 PM

I don't think we have Citgo stations here in AZ. But I wish we did just so I could boycott it!

#23 - Posted by: jonag on September 21, 2006 11:55 PM

Ooooo....Sarah's gots herself some TROLLS! Well done!

#24 - Posted by: SkyeChild on September 22, 2006 12:16 AM

I've never been a fan of sh-itco.

#25 - Posted by: Rachel on September 22, 2006 09:28 AM

As posted elesewhere in this noble site, my family and I have refused to partronize the Chavezmart for quite a while now. I don't care how effective a boycott is, but I choose to vote with my wallet. In some small way hope to say to Huge-o "you can kiss my gas". That is all. We now continue with our normally scheduled programming.

P.S. I have noticed in west central Florida that the 7-11s have removed the Shitgo labelling and in many cases are saying they have switched sources for the gas they sell. coincidence? I think not?

#26 - Posted by: captamerica on September 22, 2006 11:06 AM

I haven't bought Citgo gas in years.

For once, I'm ahead of the curve!

#27 - Posted by: NMUSpidey on September 22, 2006 11:21 AM

Same here. It's been so long ago I can't remember the source, but when I first discovered that Shitgo was a Venezuelan State owned company, I haven't bought a drop, since.

The local comedy in my neck of the woods is a WaWa and Citgo across the street from each other. When the WaWa first opened it brought with it electronic signage that allowed them to change the prices at whim from the cash register.

The poor Shitgo accross the street had the old signage that required the guy to get a pole and lift the large numbers into place.

After the WaWa opened, you began to notice a pile of numbers just left on the ground because every time they dropped their price the WaWa instantly did them one better.

Shitgo finally broke down and got an electronic sign for the Regular grade only.

The station is always practically abandonned except for the occasional soul who will pay more for open pumps and don't care where the gas comes from.

#28 - Posted by: Strnj1 on September 23, 2006 06:19 PM

I hope captamerica is right about the 7-Eleven's in West Central Florida but what concerns me as to it's chances of spreading is the fact that if you do a search for Citgo on the 7-Eleven website you come up with two V.P's that were former Citgo execs.

#29 - Posted by: Strnj1 on September 24, 2006 02:17 PM

Of course they suck, that is why they buy so many pumps.

#30 - Posted by: Writer on September 25, 2006 11:35 AM
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