Liberals these days can be quite hard for the average person to understand. While people see issues being influenced by many different people and factors, liberals will often draw everything back to President Bush - even if the President's views are only a small part of the issue or no factor what so ever. People who see everything in terms of President Bush are often described as suffering from "Bush Derangement Syndrome" (BDS for short). Now, I'm against labeling someone "deranged" simply because he or she has a different way of perceiving things than is the norm ("derangement" is a subjective term - subjective as any viewpoint), but I will use the term "BDS" in this article for simplicity since it is the most accepted label for those who hold a viewpoint that see everything in terms of President Bush. Still, I hope through this discussion you'll better understand those with BDS and see them less as "deranged" and more as people who see the world through a unique viewpoint.

Let's start by looking at the most common view of our world:

The heliocentric solar system.

It's now a widely accepted fact that our solar system is heliocentric. All planets, including Earth, revolve around the sun, thus making the sun the central point of the solar system. The force that interconnects everything in the solar system is what's known as "gravity." The more massive an object, the more gravity it has. Thus, the sun being the most massive part of our solar system, its gravity has the most influence on the objects in the solar system, causing the planets to have elliptical orbits around the sun.

Now, let's look at how those with BDS see things:

The bushcentric universe.

Instead of planetary bodies, you have political and social issues. At the center is President George W. Bush, and all issues revolve around him in irregular, elliptical orbits (I don't own a compass). The force that interconnects everything and draws it to President Bush is a force known as "Karl Rove." The Karl Rove is seen as influencing everything (even if only in a small way), thus drawing everything in the universe towards Bush.

While there are many similarities between the heliocentric solar system and the bushcentric universe, one big difference is that orbits are static in the heliocentric solar system while they are constantly changing in the Bush centric universe. In the heliocentric solar system, planets maintain the same orbit and position in the solar system (e.g. Mercury is always in the first orbit - that nearest the sun - Venus in the second orbit, etc.), though a planet's orbit can disappear if scientist suddenly decide the planet is too small. In the bushcentric universe, the orbits of the issues can change on an hourly basis. Also, new orbits can suddenly appear if an issue previously never thought about gains prominence in the news. In the BDS view, this is all because President Bush has a negative draw, i.e., the more negative an issue is viewed, the closer it moves towards President Bush. For example, if the economy is doing particularly poorly, it will end up in a close orbit around President Bush. If the economy does well, that issue will go into a further orbit until eventually it’s so far out that it’s not visible.

There is another force important to understanding the BDS viewpoint. In the normal view of the universe, there is what's known as quantum mechanics. A particle can simultaneously be in multiple states until it is actually observed and then settles on a finite state. While this doesn't seem logical, it's accepted science. Similarly in the bushcentric universe, President Bush is both stupid and a master schemer at the same time, and it is not settled whether he more stupid or more of an evil schemer until a particular issue is observed and it is decided whether the stupid President Bush or the scheming President Bush best fits.

Now that you have a basic understanding of the bushcentric view of the universe, let's see how that viewpoint affects the interactions of a BDS person. Here's an example of a common exchange between someone who holds a more common understanding of the universe versus someone with a BDS viewpoint:

At first glance, you may think the BDS person responded with a non-sequitur and wasn't even listening. This is a common misperception many people have. To better understand why the BDS person responded appropriately, let's follow the BDS thought process, keeping in mind that everything centers on President Bush:

BDS THOUGHT PROCESS

* Everything relates to Bush
* This person is saying something. Since everything relates to Bush, he must be making a criticism about Bush.
* He mentioned the weather, which is influenced by Bush ignoring global warming and not signing the Kyoto treaty.
* He must be pointing out how Bush policies harm many more people that the supposed terrorist threat.
* I now formulate a response to agree with that sentiment.

By looking at things from the bushcentric viewpoint, we now understand that the BDS person was simply trying to agree with the statement and be friendly. Thus, the appropriate response back would be to pat the BDS person on the head and give him a cookie, thus furthering the burgeoning friendship.

You may be curious why those with BDS constantly bring up Hitler and Nazis. That's because, when BDS first began, it was understood that Hitler and the Nazis were bad. Since Bush is bad, he then had a relation to Hitler and the Nazis. Now that BDS has been around for so long, were you to ask a BDS person why Nazis are bad, he or she would most likely respond, "Because they're just like Bush." Thus, the comparison to Hitler and Nazis has taken on a bit of circular logic. Bush is like Hitler because Hitler is bad, and Hitler is bad because he is like Bush. So the statement "Bush is like Hitler" to a BDS person just means "Bush is like Bush" and is a very benign logical statement similar to "A is A."

One may wonder what will happen to people with BDS when President Bush leaves office. Well, let’s consider what would happen to the solar system if the sun suddenly disappeared. Now lacking the gravitational center, the planets would be in disarray. If another large body were to come near, though, the planets would organize around that due its gravitational pull. Similarly, those with BDS with see their view of the world fall into disarray upon the departure of President Bush, but eventually another figure will emerge with enough emotional pull for them to center all issues around that person. It’s happened before in history with liberals, and it will happen again.

Hopefully this discussion will help you better understand your friends with BDS. Comprehending the bushcentric view of the universe makes it easy to understand why someone will claim the 100% minus Bush's approval rating agree with his or her viewpoint no matter what the subject, why 9/11 conspiracies are so rampant (just remember that buildings being blown up is bad and the rest is easy to understand), and why so many liberals shake their tiny fists in impotent rage at forces that seem beyond human control. With this knowledge, you can now converse with BDS people without confusion. Or, alternatively, you can punch them in their dumb monkey faces and understand the surprised look they give you afterwards means, "How could you mistake me for Bush?"

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Frank the Artist
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