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September 26, 2006
IMAO EXCLUSIVE: President Clinton's Comprehensive Anti-Terror Strategy He Left for the Bush Administration
Posted by Frank J. at 11:25 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (37)

IMAO EXCLUSIVE!

MUST CREDIT IMAO!

Former President Bill Clinton, while getting angry at Chris Wallace for being a monkey, claimed that he "left a comprehensive anti-terror strategy" for the Bush Administration. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice disputes this. Despite the denial, IMAO has obtained a copy of the plan:

This plan was mentioned in the 9/11 Commission Report, so it's hard to believe the Bush Administration never heard of it.

Rating: 3.3/5 (6 votes cast)

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37 Responses To "IMAO EXCLUSIVE: President Clinton's Comprehensive Anti-Terror Strategy He Left for the Bush Administration"

Of course he wanted ninjas. His hatred of the military heavily skewed what little decision making he ever did. As far as he knew, ninjas were apolitical and therefore relatively trustowrthy. Plus they were more easily prepared than his first choice, irritable chimpanzees with high explosives and full diapers.

I hereby credit IMAO, in my own way.

You're welcome.

#1 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on September 26, 2006 11:47 AM

I assume he suspected Epicopalians because all the Branch Davidians were already dead.

#2 - Posted by: a4g on September 26, 2006 12:42 PM

Frank=genius

#3 - Posted by: Steve on September 26, 2006 12:52 PM

Steve,
Thanks goes to SarahK for getting the scan of the memo for me.

#4 - Posted by: Frank J. on September 26, 2006 12:53 PM

Of course he wanted Hinjas, they are purely mercenary. As a good Leftie he not only hated the Military, he resented paying them when the country is not at war (another reason the Lefties want the GWOT to be treated as a criminal enterprise instead of a war).

#5 - Posted by: Writer on September 26, 2006 01:24 PM

He's not getting his pants back until he pays the stain removal & de-lousing bill for the Oval Office.

#6 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 26, 2006 01:52 PM

I think he confused his Asian countries and thought he would get ninjas from the Chinese for the military secrets.

#7 - Posted by: Kevin Porter on September 26, 2006 02:28 PM

Frank your journalistic integrity is amazing. Even though you know that this damning pice of evidence will clearly demonstrate that 9/11 was Bush'd fault, you brought it to light nevertheless. Bravo, bravo.

#8 - Posted by: captamerica on September 26, 2006 03:20 PM

Looks authentic to me.

#9 - Posted by: Dan Rather on September 26, 2006 03:28 PM

I did not have sex with those ninjas.

#10 - Posted by: Willy on September 26, 2006 03:34 PM

Forgery, and a poor one at that! That Memo looks like it was written on Word 98.

Everybody knows that President was still hacking away on on Apple IIe back then.

#11 - Posted by: 1/96th tsp Shredded Lemon Peel on September 26, 2006 05:31 PM

The ninjas are obviously fake! Everyone knows that BJ got very large campaign contributions from the Chinese. Ninjas are Japanese! So why are these sly little yellow devils from China...obvious commie pinko kung fu pussies dressing up like Japanese warriers? To get all the Christians! That's why! This will make BJ happier than Rosie O'Donnell at a tittie bar!

#12 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on September 26, 2006 05:35 PM

Oh yeah, I can see it now. Hillary's nominee for SecDef if she wins in '08: Sho Kosugi

#13 - Posted by: IllTemperedCur on September 26, 2006 05:46 PM

This isn't true! It isn't! It's all Bush's fault! It's all a right wing conspiracy and I can prove it! If it came off of my desk, it would have had a stain....opps....

#14 - Posted by: Bill Clinton on September 26, 2006 07:56 PM

My good friend, Bill is right! His polacies on the Middle East were just as effective as mine!

#15 - Posted by: Jimmy Carter on September 26, 2006 07:58 PM

Where did you get that document? The original is still in my underware!

#16 - Posted by: Sandy Burgler on September 26, 2006 08:01 PM

That is totally wrong way. The proper way to use ninjas in an anti-terror solution is to make ninja training a standard part of American child education.

#17 - Posted by: George guy on September 26, 2006 11:13 PM

What a typical Clinton plan. Everyone knows that ninjas can only tolerate a very narrow temperature range. They'd overheat the instant they landed.

#18 - Posted by: Nuclear Siafu on September 26, 2006 11:55 PM

Ninjas in helicopters sounds like a perfect solution! I also wanted to make sure SarahK has the link to the new Texas Internet radio station. Maybe it will make her feel a little closer to Texas.

#19 - Posted by: Pam on September 27, 2006 12:12 AM

I dunno, Bill. Them Episcolopian types just got back from Madrassa Lambeth, and their vergers got extensive bo-staff training at the hands of visiting masters from southern Idaho. Besides, the helecopter training in classical ninjitsu is several hundred years old. Can't we just get Reno to take care of it? What? Ordained? When?

#20 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 27, 2006 12:21 AM

You people are amazing. The proof that Clinton haters/Bush lovers are mental midgets seems endless. However, the thing that truly disappoints is that sad sad lack of anything resembling origonality or creativity. A stained dress joke even. How did you ever think of that?

#21 - Posted by: Joe on September 27, 2006 10:04 AM

Hey, Joe. You pinkos never have anything funny to say, so why don't you go and comiserate with your comrades at some collective coffee shop and come back when you have a sense of humor and something of substance to say. Now, bugger off!

#22 - Posted by: on September 27, 2006 11:52 AM

Is there anything you people "don't" blame Bill Clinton for?

I mean its been 5 years, let it go.

If you can't be respectful of the man at least be respectful of the office he held.

Blaming Clinton for 9/11 is like blaming Woodrow Wilson for WWII (oh wait I do that) well you know what I am saying.

#23 - Posted by: Giovanni on September 27, 2006 02:32 PM

//Is there anything you people "don't" blame Bill Clinton for? I mean its been 5 years, let it go. If you can't be respectful of the man at least be respectful of the office he held.//

LOL!!! "Respectful of the office he held." Why would we? HE wasn't. Also, it's been 13 years since his corruption became a national problem, and that's a legacy that also lingers on with al-Gore touring the world talking sh*t about America to Muslim heads of state.

But hey, thanks for coming here to disrespect people on a site that you don't agree with. It makes all the sense of someone going to a PETA rally to vend fried chicken.

Actually, THAT would be funny...

#24 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 27, 2006 02:58 PM

Mmmmm .... Chiiicken!

#25 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on September 27, 2006 03:56 PM

You are just as bad as the "blame Bush" people.

I am sure both of you will have a nice warm place in hell telling each other how wrong the other one is.

#26 - Posted by: Giovanni on September 27, 2006 04:15 PM

And what, you've got a reservation in Heaven? Riiiight. I accepted Jesus as my savior. Did you?

Oh well. Have some chicken!

#27 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 27, 2006 05:27 PM

WOW that made so sense. Who are you Ann Coulter?

Fine I will have the chicken, but please stop drinking the Kool-aid.

#28 - Posted by: Giovanni on September 27, 2006 06:11 PM

No, I'm not Ann. I'm Alan- that's A-L-A-N. A good anagram of Alan is A-N-A-L, as some other trolls have very cleverly pointed out.

Now, do you like white or dark meat? I prefer dark myself.

BTW, what is "so sense"? Did YOU drink the kool-aid you were talking about?

#29 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 27, 2006 06:23 PM

I am a white meat kind of guy but I dont think there is that much dark meat on chicken.

It was suppose to be "no sense" (damn you edit button)

When I was younger I was filled with Kool-aid and drank it gladly however as I became older I realised that even though it tasted good it had no real substance.

#30 - Posted by: Giovanni on September 27, 2006 07:10 PM

Hey, Giovanni,
Most trolls on this site usually try to show us how "intalectually superior" they are to us poor, gun-toting, racist, red-neck conservitives. We usually get a good laugh when they miserably fail. All you seem to be is a little winer, with no sense of humor what so ever, and not entertaining in the least bit. Ergo, you are batting 0, so please go back to Kos where your brand of right-wing hatred will be apperciated.

#31 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on September 27, 2006 09:14 PM

To Wolfman Dan:

Umm... no.

Lets see I have not called you racist, I dont think you are rednecks and I think we need more gun-toting in this country.

I sure as hell dont find anything funny about the way the security of this country is being handled. If you do I suggest you stop being part of the discussion because this is time for serious people. So sorry I dont have time to chime in my baseball metaphore and put it so that your small brain can understand why it is not funny.

#32 - Posted by: Giovanni on September 28, 2006 12:11 AM

Considering the amount of vile comments left here by, for lack of a better term, anti-republicans/ conserveratives/ Christians, etc, Wolfy's response isn't without merit. It's a group blog, and while humorous comments and counterpoints are welcome, there are those who post little else but hateful comments. Not that I am an administrator here, but it's the impression I get from this site's proprietors.

That having been said, enjoy your visit here while having a juicy lemon-pepper chicken breast, as I figure you like the white meat best from a later comment topic.

#33 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 28, 2006 04:53 AM

Don't pick on Giovanni too much, guys, he's a closet Republican and won't admit it and I know this because I recognize his moniker from an earlier post.

The thing is he's trying to make a point that we have no more right to pick on ex pres Slick Willie than the left does on Bush, but the fact is that Slick Will put himself out there to be picked on when he threw a hissy fit on National TV, plus this is humor site that likes to poke fun at demoncraps, therefore, we WILL poke fun at demoncraps, Gio. That's just the way it is.

Thanks for supporting the war effort though, and remember that Olberman is a MACACA!!!

#34 - Posted by: shimauma on September 28, 2006 01:31 PM

Closet Republican? I thought only Log Cabin Republicans were able to use that term.

I am not differ in too many issues. Plus I am registered Dem. Plus I support Democratic principles even if the party it self has forgotten what that means.

#35 - Posted by: Giovanni on September 28, 2006 03:08 PM

//Plus I am registered Dem. Plus I support Democratic principles even if the party it self has forgotten what that means.//

Sounds Like Zell Miller to me. Just because you register Dem, doesn't mean you have to vote that way. In fact that would be a hilarious fun thing to do...about a million of us register as demoncraps, then vote Republican, making the point that some Democrats no longer support the demoncrap party that it has become. The Republican party sees that it no longer has a million members registered, maybe they will stop recruiting RINO's like Mark Kennedy and Tim Pawlenty.

#36 - Posted by: shimauma on September 28, 2006 04:50 PM

//Plus I support Democratic principles even if the party it self has forgotten what that means.//

I thought the Dems only had 2 principles: Vote against anything Republicans want, and kill more unborn babies. Oh wait, 3, raise taxes.

#37 - Posted by: Cobra Commander on September 29, 2006 04:14 PM
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