Haha, this is so funny. I am dropping out of the republican party and going independent. I thought we were supposed to be the party of good family values and God. I guess not. This shows that there is too much corruption in this country. I would rather have Bill in there, at least he wasn't a faggot.

u r all dum stoopid homo heelbilly neocon jues hoo want sex wit leetle cheeldrin! ur master bush luv leetle cheeldrin too! bring bak cleenton hoo is freend of monkeys!

When Hillary is elected President in 08 do you think we will have another Clinton "I did not have sex with that woman, Ms xxxxxx"? Clinton may not be a homo but I'll bet his wife is one...

If any of the leaders in Republican Party in the House or Senate knew about this guy they need to be tied up and delivered to Barney Frank for the weekend, then run out of congress...

OK, once again. Foley isn't a pedophile (at least, he doesn't appear to be). None of the boys involved are under 12. Since none are pre-pubescent, that makes him a pederast. :)

Actually, I think a more accurate version would be...

What Goes Through a Democrat's Mind: How did they find out about me and that entire class of preschoolers? Oh, wait. It's about someone else. Whew!

It doesn't matter what they are called...you don't get to have sex with children!!!

November 3, 2005

F@#$ the South. F@#$ 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the f@%#ing Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we f@#$ing founded this country, a$$holes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullsh@t about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the f@#$ing sentence? I read that sentence, and I only read that sentence! Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. They loved pornography, abortion, and art that ridicules Christianity. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the f@$&ing monuments are up here in our backyard? I'm asking because it confuses me.

No, No. Get the f@%# out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and f@%&ing Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for f&@*ing blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? I'm talking Subarus, yo! We started this sh@t, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. F@&* off. I have a headache!

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the f%^&ing cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so f%^&ing arrogant if I wasn't paying for your f%^&ing bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your f%&*ing Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And we'll keep paying it because we're way too retarded to demand lower taxes. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a f%$*ing swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their a$$ kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal f^&*ing dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherf@#$er, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, a$$hole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money,
a$$holes, it’s f&*^ing our money. We love paying taxes because we're so retarded, you got that! What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own f&%^ing stop signs, a$$holes. They're ten bucks each at Home Depot, morons.

Let’s talk about those values for a f@#$ing minute. You and your Southern values can bite my a$$ because the blue states got the values over you f#$%ing Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s f#$%ing Massachusetts, the f@#king center of the gay marriage universe. Ted Kennedy himself has married more times than he's divorced. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the f^&%ing nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are f@#$ing blue states, a$$hole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to f$#@ing guess? 10 of the top 10 are f$#@ing red-a$$ we're-so-f$@#ing-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its f^$%ing part.

But two guys making out is going to f@$%ing ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we f%@#ing get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're f$%^ing towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us f#%king Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous a$$holes? If my hand wasn't stuck to porn right now, I'd flip you off. No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the f%$king Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes. It's D.C., which we all know is full of Southern good 'ole boys.

Well this gravy train is f@$%ing over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bull$hit and shove it up your a$$.

And no, you can't have your f@#$ing convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

FROM www.fuckthesouth.com

Snooge!
:) :) :) :) ;) ;) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

At least Scary Evil Monkey is usually short.

What's with these cut and paste idiots? I hope they never learn the CTRL-A, CTRL-C, CTRL-V shortcut, or this could be a real epidemic.

Okay, that was long, but funny. I don't agree with most of it, but it's funny.

If he truly believes that screed, and he says the Amendments to the Constitution mean exactly what they sy, then why doesn't he apply some of that energy constructively-by protesting Roe v. Wade, the most idiotic, biased and slipshod bit of "law" this last century. There is no written logical basis for the conclusion.

Are we still playing Faux Troll Patrol?

I don't want to waste my time reading that droning rant unless there's some entertainment value.

We have Sock puppets!

David = Ryan = Liberal Jones

The South is all red because we shoot them liberals!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Ya'll member that, y'heah?

Bob,
Yep. Find all the added sentences to win IMAO bonus points!

Actually, the signal that Faux-Troll Patrol is on is if I respond to a troll in the comments.

Oh, I almost forgot:

It’s your money, not the government's money...

Knuckle up beyotch!

If my hand wasn't stuck to porn right now, I'd flip you off.

&

And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes. It's D.C., which we all know is full of Southern good 'ole boys.

Was I right Frank?

Wow, this is a tough one to. Either Frank J. went the extra mile to add lots of fun to this post, or this guy has really gone off of the deep end. My Troll Patrol answers:

I read that sentence, and I only read that sentence!

And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier.

"Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

We love paying taxes because we're so retarded, you got that!

Ted Kennedy himself has married more times than he's divorced.

If my hand wasn't stuck to porn right now, I'd flip you off.

It's D.C., which we all know is full of Southern good 'ole boys.

My-my...someone's got his panties in a twit!

I vote for (If my hand wasn't stuck to porn right now, I'd flip you off) as Frank's contribution to this rant...

Correctly Identified Faux-Troll Patrol Sentences:

"If my hand wasn't stuck to porn right now, I'd flip you off."

"It's D.C., which we all know is full of Southern good 'ole boys."

"I read that sentence, and I only read that sentence!"

"We love paying taxes because we're so retarded, you got that!"

"Ted Kennedy himself has married more times than he's divorced."

If you found those, give yourself 100 IMAO Bonus Points each.

Some have still not been found...

Thanks, I forgot that was the the sign.
My guesses:

"I'm asking because it confuses me."

"I have a headache!"

"And we'll keep paying it because we're way too retarded to demand lower taxes."

"Maybe horsies?"

They loved pornography, abortion, and art that ridicules Christianity.

I'm asking because it confuses me.

there's 2 more

Just to let you know, Florida isn't the South. It is a colony of New York geriatrics and Yankees who move down with their older relatives and Cuban refugees who flee the tyranny of Castro. It is a Northern State south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Just like Atlanta is a colony of New York, every last neighborhood and suburb filled with yankees of all social and ethnic groups.

Anyway, we don't and won't claim any pederasts. They are just disgusting and need to be burned alive in a furnace.

OOOOOOOOOooooooooooo...David/Ryan/Liberal Jones is going to kick someone's ass! How liberal! Wish I'd seen this before it was ancient history. Best Faux Troll Patrol ever!

IF a civil war breaks out in the US, my money is on the red states.