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October 06, 2006
Now these are going to be some seriously crappy bedtime stories...
Posted by Laurence Simon at 04:42 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (9)

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens is writing a series of childrens books...

The books, written with co-author Courtney Parker, are being published by Dallas-based publisher Ben Bella.

The first one, Little T Learns to Share, will be on shelves Nov. 15.

"It teaches life lessons on discipline," Parker said. "The irony is him being one of the most controversial players and the public perception of him lacking discipline."

Suggested titles:

  • The Little Engine That Could, But Not For Less Than 15 Mil A Year And Get Rid Of That Deadweight Donovan The Caboose In The Back
  • Lemony Screwit (A Series Of Unfortunate Incompetions)
  • Goodnight Painkillers ("Goodnight Painkillers. Goodnight Sleeping Pills. Wait. Which of you is which?")
  • Green Uniforms And Damn
  • The Star-Bellied Fans

This is only a partial list. If you hear of more, feel free to share them in the comments.

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

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9 Responses To "Now these are going to be some seriously crappy bedtime stories..."

'Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad T.'
Where T huffs and he puffs and he throws a big fat hissy fit.

#1 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on October 6, 2006 05:07 PM

"Little T Learns To Refer To Himself In The Third Person"

"Little T Learns About Ghost Writers"

"It Takes A Village To Love The Greatest Football Player Of All Time"

#2 - Posted by: IllTemperedCur on October 6, 2006 05:59 PM

Terrell Owens and the Philosophers Touchback
Who's Afraid of Terrel Owens.
The Owens Code
The Owensbury Tales
Terrellwulf

I could go on but why? The only real story here is "The Ego that Ate Texas". Why does this man still make the news? He's a buffoon and not a particularly entertaining one at that.

#3 - Posted by: seanmahair on October 6, 2006 09:03 PM

Now you don't need to create your own material Lair!

#4 - Posted by: Robert on October 6, 2006 09:45 PM

I've been staring at a blank screen for five minutes, trying to come up with a parody funnier than Terrell Owens writing a book on sharing. I'm at a complete loss.

#5 - Posted by: Stephen on October 6, 2006 10:56 PM

Stephen, the only thing better would be TO writing a book on humility.

#6 - Posted by: SilverBubble on October 7, 2006 10:55 AM

The Ass in the Helmet

and

The Ass in the Helmet Comes Back

#7 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on October 7, 2006 11:15 PM

Terrell Owens is so...yesterday's news.

We now have Heinous Haynesworth, the Face Stomper~!

How about "Big Al Brushes his Cleats"

or the children's song "Stomp the Star", a duet with Terrell Owens...

#8 - Posted by: serr8d on October 8, 2006 01:27 AM

How about "Little T Catches 3 Passes for 45 yards Against the Ferocious Philly D"

#9 - Posted by: BigOrangeAxe on October 9, 2006 09:52 AM
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