 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
October 09, 2006
North Korean Nuclear Explosive Test FAQ
Q. Why is this a big deal? We've had nuclear weapons since the forties. What's next? The North Koreans getting the microwave? A. Let's not underestimate this. While nuclear weapons go back a very long time, the speculation on their popularity was vastly overblown, as none of the predictions of every American flying around in his own personal helicopter armed with nuclear bombs ever came true. Q. So, should we panic? I'm due for a good panic. A. Sure. Go ahead. Q. Aieeeeeeeeee! Game over, man! Game over! What are we going to do, man? What are we going to do? A. We'll probably enact sanctions. Q. And that stops a nuclear explosion how? A. Once the country is hit by a nuclear attack, it allows us to say, "Hey, we tried." The only thing worst than a nuclear holocaust is a nuclear holocaust where you didn't even impotently try sanctions to stop it. Q. How can we be sure North Korea really set off a nuclear explosion? The explosion was only equivalent to 550 tons of TNT, and Bob Owens thinks they could have used conventional explosives to do that. Is he crazy? A. Absolutely. Where in the world would North Korea get that much TNT? Dynamite R Us? That place has, at most, a half a ton of TNT in stock at a time. If you do the math, that means the North Koreans would have to visit at least six dynamite stories, driving all over North Korea to find them. Perhaps now you get an idea of how infeasible that would be. Q. The Russians say the explosion was 5 to 15 kilotons. A. The Russians say lots of things, and they also use the number three as a letter. Bunch of goofballs, the whole lot of them. Q. So, are the North Koreans crazy enough to use their nuclear weapons? I mean, their leader is this short, weirdo with a potbelly and poofy hair. The guy is practically a carnival freak. A. Hey! Don't provoke him, fool! He has nuclear weapons! Q. So, is that it? Is he going to nuke me dead? A. Possibly... if you're visiting Japan and the North Korean missiles work perfectly. The much more likely target is the ocean between North Korean and Japan. Q. He can't keep his Dong up, am I right? A. Huh? Q. It was a joke. See, the North Korean missile names all has the word "dong" in it, and that is often used as a synonym for... A. Well, I'm glad that while we're all threatened with nuclear death, you can make jokes. We here at IMAO are against all jokes. Q. I know, I come here everyday. Anyway, if their missiles won't work, what about the possibility of a nuclear weapon being strapped to a North Korean ninja who could then sneak into America with his ninja skills? A. Nuclear ninjas? Bah. Q. But they also know kung fu. A. Well, it sounds like a job for Batman. Q. I was thinking Chuck Norris. A. Either or. Anyway, I hear Homeland Security is well aware of the nuclear ninja threat, and will shoot on site anyone dressed all in black. Q. Won't that cause a lot of innocent Goths to be shot? A. Yeah. So? Q. Well... it's just... forget it. So, isn't this a failure of the Bush administration? A. Isn't everything? Q. I'm serious! He was all focused on Iraq and it's non-existent WMDs, and now North Korea has actual working nuclear weapons. A. What were we supposed to do? Invade them? What would we have to gain? They have no oil for us to steal, and we already have plenty of nuclear weapons of our own, so why would we want theirs? Q. It's more than that! I hear the Koreans eat dogs. We have to stop that! A. That's a cultural thing. Q. But it's just like cannibalism... except, instead of eating people, they eat dogs! A. The U.S. government won't even stop Glenn Reynolds from making puppy smoothies, so I wouldn't expect action against North Korea. Q. I question the timing of this nuclear test. A. Of course you do, you moonbat. Q. Well, how do you think this will effect the election? A. While the Democrats can play this up as a Bush failure, if Americans feel there is an actual big international threat out there, people aren't going to look for protection among a bunch of whiny Democrats who all had silicon testes implants to pretend they actually have balls. Q. Some Democrats do have testicles! A. Maybe Hillary. Q. This is stupid. I want more info about the Mark Foley scandal! A. I'm sure the MSM will prioritize towards that as soon as they can. Q. What does a dog taste like? A. If you're really curious, e-mail Glenn Reynolds. Now, have a happy, radioactive day. 11 Responses To "North Korean Nuclear Explosive Test FAQ"
First!!!!!
C'mon now. The 'Stache can do anything. #2 - Posted by: HKPistole on October 9, 2006 10:08 AMQ. I'm serious! He was all focused on Iraq and it's non-existent WMDs, and now North Korea has actual working nuclear weapons. Of course, that's probably too complicated for a liberal to understand. #3 - Posted by: the paperboy on October 9, 2006 11:11 AMI’d suggest that President Bush immediately send two envoys to N. Korea and tell Kim Jung that he must either have sex with one of them or get rid of his nukes. If he doesn’t comply, we are going to unleash “Shock and Awe” on his country courtesy of the US Air Force. The two envoys will be Madeline Albright and Mark Foley…take your pick you short little prick…no pun intended! #4 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on October 9, 2006 11:26 AMThere aren’t any dogs in North Korea. They ate all the dogs 50 years ago during the war. Dining on dog meat is a rare delacasy in North Korea. When things get bad you are much more likely to graze on grass or eat your elderly relatives to stay alive. #5 - Posted by: Neo-andertal on October 9, 2006 11:55 AM"The Russians say lots of things, and they also use the number three as a letter. Bunch of goofballs, the whole lot of them." They also write the letter R backwards. Like Я. #6 - Posted by: Ernie G on October 9, 2006 01:12 PM//A. Either or. Anyway, I hear Homeland Security is well aware of the nuclear ninja threat, and will shoot on site anyone dressed all in black.// Lucky for Homeland Security my Benevolent Overlord Kal El is bullet-proof and ever so sexy in black... #7 - Posted by: shimauma on October 9, 2006 01:20 PM"The Russians say lots of things, and they also use the number three as a letter. Bunch of goofballs, the whole lot of them." LOL! #8 - Posted by: keith on October 9, 2006 02:47 PM“The US proposes sanctions on North Korea.” Why do we always have to be the tip of the spear on this sanctions stuff and get all the blowback. Let someone else take the lead for once. Why can’t we get some country like Mauritania to petition for sanctions at the UN. What the hell is North Korea going to do to Mauritania, anyway. It would take them six months to find the damn country on the map. Once they find it, what are they going to do, invade! Bomb it! There’s nothing there. There’s nothing in Mauritania but sand, dirt, and dust. Mmmmm . . . Doooog meeeat!! Have you ever wondered if different breeds have different flavors? Does a husky taste better than a poodle? Are chihuahuas sold in six packs? Did little North Korean children (when they still had dogs) fight over who got the Great Dane drumstick? I have a haunch (sorry!) that puppy smoothies were once popular summertime refreshment on the streets of Pyonyang. Now all they get are freshly- microwaved s**t sandwiches. Thanks, Communism, for destroying this beautiful, canine-cuisine culture. #10 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on October 10, 2006 12:32 AMMang, chu guys are cold. Dees es not so phunny. And by de way, i am not Hugo Chabez's lap dog. Alldo one time I got drunk on tequilla, er I meen mechican alcohol and deed a doo doo on hees lap. #11 - Posted by: taco bell dog on October 10, 2006 08:58 AMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
