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October 20, 2006
Republicans, Democrats and 3 Dollar Bills
An Editorial By Spacemonkey
And once you get listed as a gay, there's simply no unlisting. You don't go back in the closet, unless you coordinate very well. Even then it's just to get dressed for an outing of some sort. You just can't unlick the cat, so to speak. You also can't unwrestle the snake, though I think I may have coined that term right out of hand, so to speak. The most stunning part of all this new queer reality or queerality is the idea that we must hate ourselves and not vote for our gay brethren and sistren any 'mo for the simple fact of our mutual gaiety. But is our own undeniably fabulous gayness a sufficient reason to do as the liberals would have us to do? To do what used to seem unthinkable namely voting for a Democrat? Or staying home and not voting for fear of supporting one of "them" (you know, us)? No, of course not, don't be such a fag. The Democrats pushing this crap is like the pot calling the kettle FABULOUS! We must put aside our self hate and focus on a return to our grassroots of hating all those who hate America. Namely the Democrats. We express our hate for them by keeping them out of office. And by logical extension, the terrorists. We can expressing our hate for them by keeping them from breathing. Who hated us when we were just Americans? Who hates us doubly more now that we are gays as well? I'll tell you who. Democrats and terrorists. TerrorCrats if you will. After all, these two groups have demonstrated an affinity for sucking up to each other for mutual benefit time after time and then they spit all over America. Bending over backward to show their sensitivity to each other's needs and wants. They have formed a circle of trust and openly give each other a hand when a job needs doing to hurt America. What total slimy jerks! No I tell you TerrorCrats are the real girly men and manly girls. I call on all Republicans to not fall for this "Stay at Homo this Election Day" business. Instead we all need to "Get out the vote! Dress Flamboyant But Vote Conservative!" Spacemonkey is the author of such books as "We're Here, We're WHAT!!!?!? I can't deal with that", and "Gay as in Happy" and "The Secret to Staying Super Straight." Wow.Spacemonkey funny And wordy, who woulda thunk. Good stuff but no more time to give the proper ammount of praise, Queer Eye For The Liberal Guy is starting. #1 - Posted by: DohXs on October 20, 2006 06:32 PMThe last half of the second-to-last paragraph was, ahem, cheeky--like you were channeling the spirit of Dr. Tobias Funke, Analrapist. #2 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on October 20, 2006 06:43 PM"I can't wait to get my mouth around those juicy man parts!" I guess this post meets spacemonkey's writing quota for the next two months. Real funny, BTW, and I loved the book titles. #3 - Posted by: Frank J. on October 20, 2006 07:59 PMMy new voting motto. Force me to choose between a hypocrite and lunatic. I’ll choose the hypocrite every time. That’s why I vote Republican. The problem with voting for the hypocrites, is that they will be hypocrites again for the next 2 years (or 6 in the senate). If the lunatics win then the hypocrites will stop being hypocrites long enough to grow a pair and fight for the conservatives that elect them, and hopefully learn that they cannot keep running as conservative and governing as liberal. If we can't elect conservatives that stay conservative (and i mean good old conservatives, not neocons like the Bush family),we will continue our downward spiral into Roman oblivion. So I see 2 years of political hell better than total destruction of our nation within a couple of decades. Lucky for me, my rep is still fairly conservative so I don't have to make that choice. very funny spacemonkey! especially liked: "Or staying home and not voting for fear of supporting one of "them" (you know, us)? No, of course not, don't be such a fag." and "Stay at Homo" and "get out the vote" neo, more like a choice between a hypocrit and a hypo-lunatic. #6 - Posted by: me on October 20, 2006 10:20 PMHmm… The human failings of the lesser hypocrite I can live with. You Christians call him a sinner, I believe. The greater hypocrite I won’t put up with. He is evil any way you cut it. By the way, I don’t think Democrats taken as a whole, are lunatics. I do believe their party core has been thrown to the lunatics, and the sane amongst them will be forced to abide the lunatics this time around. so i guess the key to getting Spacemonkey to write something is to pay him. #8 - Posted by: sarahk on October 21, 2006 12:07 AM"The Democrats pushing this crap is like the pot calling the kettle FABULOUS!" LOL! At least we know who is really pushing the crap! #9 - Posted by: Tommy the Towelhead on October 21, 2006 01:07 AMI heard Tammy Bruce on the Laura Ingram show yesterday. She suggested that the dems rename their party the Socialist Labor Party and the Republicans rename their party to the Democratic party because they are nothing but big spending liberals... I agree...sigh! #10 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on October 21, 2006 05:24 AM>so i guess the key to getting Spacemonkey to write something is to pay him. Was he paid in one euro notes? #11 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on October 21, 2006 12:54 PMEveryone except the naysayers: Thanks Naysayers: Nuh-uh Sarahk: Hmm, pay certainly does grease the mental wheels. But I guess I'm too selective in choosing my inspirations. I often opt for the short sniping hit piece, intead of the longer thought out piece. #12 - Posted by: spacemonkey on October 21, 2006 03:49 PMI think this is the most spacemonkey I have ever read in one sitting. I'm impressed. Very funny. #13 - Posted by: fmragtops on October 21, 2006 05:32 PMGood post. Humor, but with a point-me like. For those denegrating the House GOP: Also, do you really think the libs will act like Americans for the next two years if they are suddenly handed the keys to the Legislative branch? You need to really, REALLY think about a congress controlled by Reid, Kennedy, Pelosi, etc. If you think things are bad now..... #14 - Posted by: Gun Nut on October 21, 2006 08:24 PMthe dems have already said they'll raise our taxes if they win (for their 90 billion in new programs) #15 - Posted by: email on October 21, 2006 10:09 PMThe double entendres had me rolling. That Hick sure knows his Funny. #16 - Posted by: DesertElephant on October 22, 2006 01:13 PMHilarious! Now bend over and I'll drive you home! #17 - Posted by: mark foley on October 23, 2006 07:49 AMWhat do you do when you drop your wallet in Washington, D.C.? Make sure I'm not behind you when you pick it up! ( i said behind, hee hee hee) #18 - Posted by: barney frank on October 23, 2006 07:50 AMI also used a seldom attempted triple entendre. Challenge: Can you find it? #19 - Posted by: spacemonkey on October 23, 2006 11:54 AMyou are truly a funny guy! and very articulate for a hayseed. or should that be a "gayseed"? #20 - Posted by: aA on October 24, 2006 02:42 PMPost a comment
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As you know by now, Republicans are all completely gay. You, me, all of us. Queer as a proverbial three Euro note (or the regular one Euro note for that matter). Sweet as an all-month sucker. It's a proven fact. Ask any Democrat and they will assure you that it is so. Try as we may like to deny it, the allegations speak for themselves loudly, openly and proudly. We just have to deal with it. I mean there are lists! With NAMES!
Stumble It!
An Editorial By Spacemonkey"