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October 25, 2006
Is Harold Ford Jr. Black?
Some are saying there is a cynical ploy to get people to vote against Ford because of racist fears of blacks stealing all the white women, and the nutroots are freaking out over it (it's like they only have two speeds: "ignore" and "FREAK OUT!"). There's a problem with this narrative, though: Do we actually have any proof that Harold Ford Jr. is black? Now, I have seen him on political talk shows for a long time, but the first I ever heard about him supposedly being black was when he was positioning himself for minority leader and it was mentioned he'd be the first ever "African-American" to hold that position, and I was like, "Do they mean like how Charlize Theron is an 'African-American'?" I honestly thought the guy was Italian. I had forgotten about that until this Senate race where suddenly his supposed race is an issue again, and I think now it's time for someone to call him on it. "Congressman, I serve with black people. I know black people. Black people are friends of mine. Congressman, you're no black person." Maybe it's just me, but all the black people I know never had to tell me they were black. Maybe some think they're white, though, and it never came up, but I doubt it. You see, race is a superficial thing; you are what you look like. If you look Asian, you're Asian, even if you have a parent who is white. If you look black, you're black, even if you have a parent who is Asian (like Tiger Woods). And if you look white, you're white, no matter what your supposed ancestry is. The whole racial problem is people being judged a certain way because of the color of their skin, so you actually have to have that skin color. If no one can tell you're black from looking at you, then you aren't going to be discriminated for being "black". You can't just claim blackness; you actually have to look black. Thus, we come to Harold Ford Jr., and he just doesn't pass the one and only criteria of the black test: being black. Remember that Seinfeld where Elaine had a boyfriend she wasn't sure if he was black or not? That was a tougher call than Harold Ford. Let's just go ahead and say it: Rep. Ford is not black. Is it racist for me to say someone isn't black? No, that would only be racist if a black person said it (like when certain blacks say conservative blacks aren't black for holding viewpoints deemed not to be allowed for a race; that's extremely racist). I'm white, though - actually, I'm so white I'm probably an authority on the subject. Thus, it is quite proper for me to look at another person and observe him also being white. That's what I'm doing with Harold Ford Jr. He's white. Thus let's end all this nonsense racial controversy... unless someone calls Rep. Ford a honky. 22 Responses To "Is Harold Ford Jr. Black?"
Ford [Sr.] was born in Memphis to a prominent black family who were leaders in the funeral industry in Memphis' black community, dating back to the days of E.H. Crump. OK, so Weird Harold's dad made his money off of dead black folks? Wow!! He really was a true Democrat!! FIRST!!!!! #1 - Posted by: BigOrangeAxe on October 25, 2006 09:38 AMFrank, that was a long lead in just to have an excuse to link to that picture of you with your toy. #2 - Posted by: Brian the Adequate on October 25, 2006 09:50 AMDude sho' looks white to me. #3 - Posted by: HKPistole on October 25, 2006 09:51 AMBrain, Yellower. you look yellower, Frank. #5 - Posted by: HKpistole on October 25, 2006 10:03 AMHK, gotcha. makes sense. #7 - Posted by: HKPistole on October 25, 2006 10:18 AMFrank J - Technically, I think the sword makes you look "Whitey-er". Spot on with the two speeds observation...what a subtle and nuanced bunch...they really are KOStic. #8 - Posted by: Gunga on October 25, 2006 10:19 AMI gotta wonder what race people think my kids are. Some of them have their dad's dark Filipino skin with my half-Jewish, half-Portuguese features. I myself have been mistaken for Italian, Pakistani (by a Pakistani woman!), Iranian, and Spanish, and my brother was mistaken for Ukrainian and Armenian when he was in the Ukraine. It makes you wonder just how firm these racial and national lines are! #9 - Posted by: Wacky Hermit on October 25, 2006 11:18 AMWacky Hermit, I was once mistake for an Irishman by an Irishwoman, but that was before I opened my mouth and she could tell I was a yank. A frenchman (in Paris, no less) thought I was French, or at least French Canadian, and that is a real insult. Maybe I'm just Zelig and I'm a chameleon. BTW, Frank, in that picture... what happened to all the furniture? There is nothing but white carpet, white walls, white blinds and white man. #11 - Posted by: keith on October 25, 2006 11:23 AMkeith, Frank, no offense but you are easily one of the whitist dudes I've ever seen. Your whiteness probably makes less whiter whites think that you have an advantage over them. Not-so-white vs Very-white discrimination has always been a problem in the white community. Whiter whites are generally thought to be more intelligent and tend to be favored over not-so-white people. It may be an underlying cause for white-on-white crime. As a cracker-ass florida boy, with the concomitant beet red neck, I feel obligated to point this out. It is probably the reason SarahK picked you over me, since she is a whitey-white babe, and I am a sunburned redneck. When you become Congress wil consider some legislation to help the not-so-white out? #13 - Posted by: captamerica on October 25, 2006 12:24 PMcapt - I've got some sunblock left over from the three-week period we in Ohio laughingly refer to as "Summer." I'd be happy to donate it to you if it would: 1) help you score with a better class of women, 2) help to keep you off of Federal color-based aid. #14 - Posted by: Gunga on October 25, 2006 12:35 PMSunblock!? Idn't that what for Al Gore is perposing fer curing global swarming? Thanks anyway Gunga, that was neighborly of ya. #15 - Posted by: captamerica on October 25, 2006 01:06 PMLook guys, it's quite simple. When I am trying to score with black chicks, I lead them to believe I'm white. If I am wooing those cracka ho's I tell them I'm black. Chit mang, ef I hafta I can piss as Puerto Rican! #16 - Posted by: harold ford, jr on October 25, 2006 01:08 PM"If you look black, you're black, even if you have a parent who is Asian (like Tiger Woods)." I dunno...Hines Ward is half-black and half-Asian, and he looks it. #17 - Posted by: bgrx on October 25, 2006 09:27 PMcapt, I don't know about that, but if he is, seems like a conflict of interests to me. Al Gore invented sunscreen, ya know. He's just trying to make money off of no-bid contracts for Banana Boat. #19 - Posted by: me on October 25, 2006 11:19 PM//actually, I'm so white I'm probably an authority on the subject// Maybe the color on my screen is off, but he looks more of a pale blue to me... #20 - Posted by: shimauma on October 26, 2006 01:44 PMPale Blue? That's indicia of a family tree with very few branches. Frank's little secret? #21 - Posted by: DesertElephant on October 26, 2006 05:40 PMThat really does bring up a very valid question. If I happen to have an ancestor that is from a minority group, can I claim it? How far back? Very reminiscent of Hitlers degrees of 'Jew or Not' For another example, Representative Butterfield - http://www.house.gov/butterfield/biography.shtml #22 - Posted by: Randy on October 27, 2006 03:49 PMPost a comment
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