The election this year is very important. The result can determine whether we are serious in fighting a war on terror or whether we're just going to try and ignore the problem until it grows so large it demands our attention. That's why it's important that all of you get out and vote... even though your own vote is quite meaningless and extremely unlikely to have any effect on anything.

 The issues we face today are some of the most important our nation has ever faced. It's imperative that all you reading this vote today. Can your vote have a significant effect on our future? Absolutely not. The chance of your one vote tilting any significant election is statistically small. Most likely, you'll simple have wasted your time by driving to the polls. We need everyone to vote, but whether you yourself vote is so insignificant it makes me spit.

 While the polls make things look gloomy, if Republicans just get out and vote, we can stop those spineless Democrats from weakening our country. That's why we need as many Republicans as possible to get out there and make that difference - though, honestly, whether you vote or just stay home scratching yourself and drinking a beer will have no effect on anything whatsoever. While it's possible that it could come down to one vote in an election, it's just as possible for it to be a tie if you vote, leaving countless other people to say, "If only I voted!" Both are extremely unlikely, though, so much so that you should just put it out of your head. Really, you are wasting your time voting. But, all of you, need to vote to make a difference (but not you individually).

 You may say to yourself, "Yes, I probably won't make a difference with just my vote, but, if everyone thinks like me and does not vote, it will make a difference." That's so stupid it makes me vomit. Do you think you have magical mental powers that your thinking about whether you vote or not will actually cause other people to vote or not? Or do you just think everyone else around you has the ability to read your mind? If you think that, you're such a moron that you shouldn't vote for the influence your stupidity would have on our democracy (which is none since one vote makes no difference). Maybe you think people seeing you voting and wearing an "I Voted!" sticker will influence others to vote, but then you should buy an "I Voted!" sticker and wear it all day long whether you vote or not (just be careful not to influence Democrats with your shiny sticker).

 I hope you understand my point, though. It's very important that all of you reading this, which is a significant number, vote, because that could tip some important elections. It's just that you yourself will have no effect on this whatsoever, and whether you go vote or drown in puddle in a back alley will make no difference on this election. So, go vote!

Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as "Democracy Is Annoying" and "Hacking Diebold for Dummies".

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