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November 14, 2006
Frank J.'s New Agenda for America - Part 4: Border Security
Part 1: Iraq * * * * "Borders are important. If it weren't for borders, the Chinese would eat all our pets." First off: Borders are important. That should be obvious, but it's worth saying. Until America rules the entire world, we need borders. Without them, our country would be like a paramecium without its ectoplasm, and what a mess that would be. We can't just have people running in here will-nilly, especially if many mean us harm. At the same time, America wants the best and brightest from all nations. What would happen if the Dog Whisperer fell in enemy hands? Then an enemy nation would have nice well behaved dogs and could attack us while we're trying to deal with out of control pit bull and Chihuahuas. The point of immigration is to steal the best and brightest of other nations while leaving the rest. That why we have a process for immigration. We can't support all the bums in the world, but we'll always have room for smart, hard-working people. Everything should be set up so that the good people can get over here while the bad people are blocked. The problem is we have countries that don't respect this. The biggest offender is Mexico where the government encourages people to violate our borders while not allowing for legal means to get in here. That government has to be taught a lesson: Being a neighbor to the United States of America is a privilege, not a right. We can't expect Mexicans not to want to come to America; every rational person wants to come to America. Still, we need to keep our borders or we have no country. Some have suggested some extreme solutions, such as a compromise where all illegals in the U.S. are granted amnesty and then Mexico is obliterated with nukes, but I don't think we need to be that extreme. Walls and security are needed (it's just common sense), but that's only part of the solution. If America is feared, our borders will be respected. Mexico doesn't fear America. They can disrespect our borders all they want with no consequences. If they want open borders, then we must remind them of this: Open borders works both ways. There is no reason we can't march into Mexico and kill and capture their military and government leaders, forcing them all to work in labor camps breaking rocks. Even worse, we can march our soldiers into the middle of one of their soccer game, steal the soccer ball, and leave. How could they complain? It's an open border! We have a right to their soccer ball and their government officials as slave labor. If they don't think so, they can respect the border and cooperate with legal immigration. This is how we must handle our borders: You piss on us, we piss on you. And expect the retaliation to be "disproportionate." More exciting new agenda to come! Make sure to tell your local Republicans to adopt this! Be honorable, ronin.
13 Responses To "Frank J.'s New Agenda for America - Part 4: Border Security"
If you want to join the U.S.-try the system known as statehood. All very sensible points. Therefore totally beyond the comprehension of politicians! #2 - Posted by: D. Ox on November 14, 2006 02:41 PM"Borders are important. If it weren't for borders, the Chinese would eat all our pets." My wife is Chinese. The last time I went to China I had interesting food. I suspect Fido was around for dinner but didn't make through dessert. :) "What would happen if the Dog Whisperer fell in enemy hands? Then an enemy nation would have nice well behaved dogs and could attack us while we're trying to deal with out of control pit bull and Chihuahuas." No problem. Feed the Chihuahuas to the Pit Bulls, then have my wife prepare dinner. Yum! "Being a neighbor to the United States of America is a privilege, not a right." Being a neighbor of the United States, the Greatest Nation in the history of the Universe is an accident of geography which can be easily corrected by the United States Marine Corps. For the problem neighbor, the 509th bomb group is available with suitable party favors. A friend suggested that we should put a bounty on illegals. $50 dead or alive, no limit. I thought that was just a bit extreme and suggested land mines on the borders instead. In closing, Oh yes, the number of unleashed dogs in our neighborhood has decreased dramatically since my wife arrived and began cooking for me. ;) #3 - Posted by: evilned on November 14, 2006 02:47 PMWhat's with the Borders fetish? Do you have something against Barnes & Noble? #4 - Posted by: IllTemperedCur on November 14, 2006 02:58 PMHow about this: Let's keep all the Mexicans, but deport one Liberal Democrat for each Mexican who stays here. At least the Mexicans know how to get a job done. #5 - Posted by: AlanABQ on November 14, 2006 03:26 PMAmerican prisions are awfully crowded. Maybe we should take a few thousand of the worse, criminally insane types and drop them off in downtown Mexico City? If they can continue to send their people to the US, why can't we send some of our people to Mexico? #6 - Posted by: WebGuyNH on November 14, 2006 04:32 PMFrank, Let the spics and wetbacks stay...just ship out the Democrats! #8 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on November 14, 2006 06:23 PM1. Reciprocity. ussjimmycarter: I wish you would refrain from using terms like that because, even if you use them in a humorous context, they're nonetheless insulting to American Latinos. That's merely my take on it, though. Now had you said that we ought to run the drunken Irish out of America, then I would have really been offended; I'd be too inebriated to fight back & you know it. #10 - Posted by: AlanABQ on November 15, 2006 04:15 AMReciprocity and Disproportionality! //What's with the Borders fetish? Do you have something against Barnes & Noble? Posted by: IllTemperedCur on November 14, 2006 02:58 PM // LOL, bookstore humor!! I like Alan's idea best, and then I get to claim all the land left over when the dems in my blue state are kicked out, especially the land with really good fishing lakes on it. Don't worry, I'll let the newly amnesty-ed Mexicans take care of the lawn, it'll be too big a job for me to handle it myself #12 - Posted by: shimauma on November 15, 2006 01:20 PMGood post, I've linked to you here,
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