A pen and paper (or other writing items); that would just be rude to blind children, giving them something that they couldn't possibly use.

Stockings - We have to think about those children that don't have feet to put stockings onto.

Well, they had best not be accepting any bicycles. How do you think that would a kid in a wheelchair feel?

Yo-yo's should be banned, because it mocks those that "swing both ways."

B-B Guns: Offensive to the anti gun crowd (besides...you'll shoot your eye out!!)

Boomerangs. Look too much like the Moslem crescent.

We NEED un-PC toys for our kids. Gotta teach kids about survival skills you know. Clackers! Lawn Darts! Dry Cleaner Plastic Bags!

Or the SNL/Dan Ackroyd/Mainway Toy line.

General Tron Secret Police Confession Kit
Johnny Switchblade Adventure Punk
Bag 'O Glass

The Tracii Guns Home Body Art Kit

Anatomically Correct Bert and Ernie Dolls, with Massachusetts Marriage License

Barrel of M-80s and Cherry Bombs

Whatever Michael Moore Coughed Up after Thanksgiving Dinner

The Best of Tony Kornheiser's "Analysis" from ESPN Monday Night Football

Free Upgrade at the Nancy Pelosi Paint and Body Works

Sampler Set from the Ted Kennedy Lquor Cabinet

//Would you give out candy flavored prosthetic eyeballs? Of course not.//

LOL! I nearly spewed my coffee over that one.

Paleo wrote "Whatever Michael Moore Coughed Up after Thanksgiving Dinner". Last year, when Moore was asked what he does with his thanksgiving leftovers, he just looked puzzled, and then asked, "What's a leftover?"

Wagons are discriminatory towards those in wheelchairs.
Art Supplies are discriminatory towards the visually impaired.

Would you give out candy flavored prosthetic eyeballs?

If I can find some, that's what I'll give out at Hallowe'en next year. Thanks for the idea.

Tickle Me Elmo. Elmo laughs, vibrates, and throws himself to the ground and rolls around. Patently offensive to those who suffer from seizures.

Don't you mean Michael J Fox?

How about the "Abu Gharib Interrogation Kit" or "Easy Bake IED Kit, with special Metallic Sprinkles" or "Mass Abductions for Fun and Profit."

Or better yet the "Anonymous Troll Booger Probe Kit"

"B-B Guns: Offensive to the anti gun crowd (besides...you'll shoot your eye out!!)"

You do relize that the Marines run this program? I'm suprised they don't give out ARs and M-9s

well Mr. Potato head is out. don't want to slur the Irish. bid you all peace love and understanding

The article says: As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."

Ok, so why would a Jewish or Muslim family be accepting Christmas gifts in the first place? Second of all, I think most of the Jews I know would not be offended by a talking Jesus doll. And hey, if the Marines don't profess one religion over another, why are they giving out Christmas gifts anyway? I don't see them handing out gifts for Hanukkah or Ramadan.

Also in the article: Grein questioned whether children would welcome a gift designed for religious instruction. "Kids want a gift for the holiday season that is fun," he said.

Hey, beggars can't be choosers. I say give them talking Jesus.

The Famous Parkinson's Sufferers Bobblehead dolls. First in the series is Michael J. Fox and Pope John Paul II.

The Dr. Frankenstein spine growing kit for your favorite Republican leader.

Red Rover: Border Crossing Edition

Trivial Pursuit: Short Bus Edition Mental Ages 4-6 Also Approved By John Kerry For Play By U.S. Soldiers.

you're right! Elmo DOES offend me!

Grein questioned whether children would welcome a gift designed for religious instruction. "Kids want a gift for the holiday season that is fun," he said.

The man does make sense.

I say we find out the kid's political orientation. If Republican, we send them a gun. If Democrat, Das Kapital (all four volumes).

We can't give gifts period, it offends the po' people who can't afford to buy their own stuff, let alone gifts.

If we buy stuff to give them we are just rubbing their noses in the fact that they are poor and need our assistance to buy stuff (except for beer and cigaretts, all poor people can afford those).

The Marines should hand out un-edited copies of the "peaceful" mooslims beheading hostages so everybody can see how the religion of "peace" tolerates others.

As soon as the Common Sense Manufacturing Company, LLC, Inc. resumes production we need to ship it out by the truck/train/boat load to the Dimocrats. Until then, just ship them kegs of STFU.

C'mon, now. Where's everyones holiday spirit? They're hungry & would probably want food instead, so Honey Baked Hams for all!

[Homer] Mmmm.... candy-flavored prosthetic eyeballs! [/Homer]

Candy Cigarettes have to go...offfensive to dweebs and sissies.

Candy Cigars use to be ok until "Commader in BJ" found a creative use for them...

Actually, someone handed out Gummy eyeballs here at work on Halloween. I'd have laughed my ass off if they handed out Gummi Feet or Gummy Shins. Cripples take themselves too seriously. Well, except for this cripple.

You think that’s bad. Just think of all the trouble a good Muslim can get into with inappropriate holiday gifts. For example, just this last year the local jihadi’s inadvertently sent out the annual severed head tapes to former Christians who had already converted to Islam. Talk about a colossal stuff up! Apparently someone didn’t get the word. Those Jihadi’s spent weeks trying to find all the scattered entrails so they could be sent back to their families for proper Islamic burial. It’s the worst thing to happen since they accidentally blew up an arms cache in the basement of the grand mosque. Stop telling me the Jews were responsible too. There hasn’t been a live Jew within 700 miles for over 50 years now.

By the way, I hear giving out likenesses of the prophet is all the rage these days.

It is amasing how they keep trying to get Jews in the same wagon with Muslims. I am sure no Jewish organisation was contacted on that matter.

I am Jewish, and I am sure every sane Jewish person will join me in asking Marines to send what they feel like to whoever they feel like. Just don't put a hand grenade in a package addressed to Osama Bin-Laden, it can hurt Customs officials.

Jews donate a lot to Salvation Army, St Vincent and other Christian charities operating in their home countries. I am sure a misplaced toy will find a proper place eventually.

Judaism is a non-proselitising religion, we do not take a reminder that other people believe differently as an insult.

Some morons want to take over the world really passionately. If you have no balls to tell them they are not there yet, do not use us to justify that.

Cheers

And I almost said “likenesses of the profit”!!!

Glad I caught that one. I wouldn’t want to be beheaded for a grammatical error.

Now that I think of it I have several “likenesses of the profit” in my wallet right now, some Washingtons, a few Lincolns, and a nice wad of Jacksons. Farkin’ Muslims can get lost!

Crayons! Imagine how a color blind kid feels looking at a box of crayons! Oh, the humanity of it!!

And don't forget the paint by number kits, especially if the tyke is dyslexic!

Give 'em a talking Jesus doll? Noooo...wait...thats what they'll be expecting us to do!!!

I'd recommend the Airport Screening Playset, but it might be offensive to the 80-year-old midwestern Lutheran women who typically end up getting searched for bombs.

What kind of drug do you have to be on for this to make sense?

Let's see:
Can't include books, lest you offend the illiterate kids; can't have crayons, lest you offend those who are color-blind; action figures are out...they offend the anti-war crowd; can't send candy...we don't want them getting diabetes; IPODs are out because some kids can't hear, and we don't want to offend them. Can't send food products...too many kids with allergies. I'm sure there's more, but there's been a bunch mentioned already.

They've changed their mind on this, BTW. As of yesterday (Thursday).