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November 24, 2006
RIP Gerald Boyd
Posted by Laurence Simon at 12:57 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (13)

Gerald Boyd, the man who helped advance anti-American liberalism and diversity-for-its-own-sake-at-any-cost at the New York Times, died yesterday at the age of 56.

I just received an email from Jayson Blair, former employee and student of Gerald Boyd at the New York Times, and he lists the following items as Gerald Boyd's Top Ten Accomplishments At The New York Times:

10. First African-American on the moon, established first Lunar News Bureau.

9. Spoke twelve languages fluently, including Klingon.

8. It was Gerald Boyd's trident that Bill Brassky used to stab Wolfman Jack.

7. Personally kissed every newspaper in the upper-right corner as a symbol of his blessing.

6. Repelled the Martian Invasion of 2002 with nothing more than a 9-Volt battery, some Wrigley's gum and a pair of paperclips.

5. Spiked the story of the Martian Invasion of 2002 because he didn't believe in reporters becoming the story and it would have made the Bush Administration and the military look incapable of protecting the country against foreign threats.

4. Won the Pulitzer Prize with nothing more than a stream of commands, periods, exclamation points, and semicolons because of the strength of his moral standing.

3. Secretly negotiated the peace between Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper for lasting peace in the WWE - something that eluded Jimmy Carter and all presidents since.

2. Formulated a cancer-curing ink for newsprint editions. Sadly, his research on cancer-curing animated GIF patterns for the online edition never came to fruition despite some heartening tests on mice and earthworms.

1. Partnered with Uri Geller to develop method of remote-viewing of news events to eliminate the need for correspondents to travel to the location, interview witnesses, or fact-check eyewitness claims against reliable sources and records.

No. Really. It's really from Jayson Blair.

Would I lie to you?

Rating: 2.3/5 (2 votes cast)

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13 Responses To "RIP Gerald Boyd"

I don't think you would maliciously lie to us, but that fact sheet could've come from Dan Rather posing as Jayson Blair, who was posing as a reporter & a man.

#1 - Posted by: AlanABQ on November 24, 2006 01:57 PM

The rest of the stuff on that list might be true, but I'm sure one of those was actually done by McGyver.

#2 - Posted by: largebill on November 24, 2006 03:06 PM

He spoke Klingon fluently? I'm envious! Thanks for the laugh, Lair. I needed it today.

#3 - Posted by: SkyeChild on November 24, 2006 06:23 PM

Ummm, we're conservatives here. We don't dance on peoples' graves. I can't believe this was even posted on IMAO.

#4 - Posted by: Brian the sailor on November 24, 2006 07:25 PM

Actually, I’d have to second Sailor’s sentiment on this one. Wait until the body is at least cold and in the ground. You’ve had too much turkey this week Laurence. I know I probably shouldn’t be the one to remark about the boundaries of taste after making my share of butt ugly nasty and incendiary remarks in the past.

#5 - Posted by: Neo-andertal on November 24, 2006 11:10 PM

Lighten up. I took it to be more of a slam against J. Blair, not his mentor. I'm sure that any decent person feels a bit of empathy for the family a deceased induvidual, even if it was someone you didn't like.

I think that if it was OBL, Saddam, or that perfectly healthy guy who always has a sob story & tries to bum change from you, you might not feel the same.

Now if it were Cindy She-ham, I'd feel a sense of relief. She would no longer be around to pimp-out her son's legacy for personal gain & notoriety, and he could finally rest in peace.

#6 - Posted by: AlanABQ on November 25, 2006 04:09 AM

Well, it's no worse than what this dingbat wrote.

#7 - Posted by: BlueJeanPreachin on November 25, 2006 01:20 PM

“I think that if it was OBL, Saddam, or that perfectly healthy guy who always has a sob story & tries to bum change from you, you might not feel the same.”

OBL, Saddam and their ilk are murdering criminals guilty of mass genocide. I have no problem with satirizing evil people dead or alive. Gerald Boyd doesn’t fit that category no matter how much I don’t like his politics or how he did his job. It’s not the same thing. Not even close.

I’m not getting uptight about it. Just asking, Do you really want to go in this direction?

#8 - Posted by: Neo-andertal on November 25, 2006 01:35 PM

Boyd reminds me a lot of another African-American executive who showed lots of promise and skill on the way up, but once he got to a position of power, he became nothing more than an opportunity for individuals without his drive, skill or achievement to take roles they didn't deserve.

The organization suffered for their presence and quiet "diversity" activism.

If only... if only...

#9 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on November 25, 2006 04:58 PM

Seriously, Neo, I really think it was a swipe at Blair, not Boyd. I doubt Lair or anyone else was rejoicing at the news of his death; it was a joke about his "legacy".

#10 - Posted by: AlanABQ on November 25, 2006 06:22 PM

//Do you really want to go in this direction?//

Not to pick at it, whomp on a dead horse or whatever, but those who don't want to read this article won't, and those who read it may choose to comment or not.

One thing I like about Lawerence is his willingness to cross the "offensensitivity" line ( I swear that's a word I saw in a Bloom County cartoon ). It's people like him who keep the PC squad at bay. If we ever get to a point in history that Lair can't poke fun about a famous dead media guy and his left-wing fakish offspring, then Lord have mercy and come back quickly 'cause the islamocommiefacistmflpc's have done taken over.

#11 - Posted by: shimauma on November 27, 2006 01:20 PM

I would think that deliberately destabilising the world's strongest democracy through the telling of half truths and the publishing of outright obfuscations in what is purportedly "the paper of record" which ends up giving aid and comfort to America's enemies in a time of war rates up there as despicable action.

I couldn't care less about the man's politics, but I do care about the damage that his actions based on those politics have done to the future of our nation.

I'm sorry for his family, and I'm not spitting on the grave, but I'm not mourning him either.

And Lair was in his right to joke. Remember, It's all in, or it's all out. Freedom of speech is a blanket, not a sieve. All or nothing. That's why we despise the PC crowd, remember?

#12 - Posted by: DesertElephant on November 27, 2006 05:33 PM

I don't think this post is funny at all. How can you make a joke of the Martian Invasion of 2002? We lost that battle, and a lot of good men in the process. Live long and prosper.

#13 - Posted by: Son of Bob on November 27, 2006 10:13 PM
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