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November 28, 2006
The Only Way to Ensure that Our Children Don't Have to Fight Terrorism Is to Kill All the Arab Children
An Editorial by Frank J.
Do you stay awake at night worry that your children will still have to be dealing with terrorists? I know I worry about my theoretical future children. They might want to fight terrorists because they think it's cool and want to imitate SpongeBob, but terrorists are dangerous and I don't want my children near them. Stupid children. As responsible parent and possible future parents, we have to make sure our children don't have to deal with the terrorism that plagues us now. The only way to do that is to kill all the Arab kids. "If you support America and children, then you should be for murdering Arab kids." Many Arab kids will grow up to be terrorists who will then blow up our kids who will now be adults (but not any longer after they get blown up). If we kill the kids now, they won't grow up and become terrorists; biologists confirm this. That's why killing all the Arab children is a workable solution to spare our own children. What also helps with this plan is that numerous scientifical studies have confirmed that children are much easier to kill than adults since children are small and weak and don't run fast. Thus, this plan is extremely smart. So why has it not been implemented? Because of irrational beliefs, that's why. Some object to killing Arab children since they think that killing children is wrong. I don't see why people bring that up since that is completely off topic. We're talking about making sure our children don't have to deal with terrorism, and an argument about theoretical "morals" only clouds the issue. Save the navel gazing for pretentious college students. Others object to this as genocide, but only a moron would do that. I'm not saying we should kill all Arabs; I'm just saying we should kill all their children. Think before you speak. The most frequent objection is that killing all Arab children is misdirected since many Arabs aren't terrorists and many are even Christians who seldom behead people who don't deserve it. The suggestion is then that, to spare our children from terrorism, we kill all the Muslim children. That's just stupid. Children aren't "Muslim" because they're too young to be a part of an organized religion. Thus, you can't kill "Muslim children" because there are no such thing. There are Arab children, so we can kill them. It's just being practical. Finally, some think that the scope of this plan is too limited since Iran is a big supporter of terrorism but they're not Arab and thus don't have Arab children. I frankly don't understand that. If Iranians aren't Arabs, then what are they doing in the Middle East? That doesn't make sense. I'm quite sure Iranians are Arab and anyone who says otherwise is probably just confused. So, as you can see, killing all Arab children to spare our own is a great plan with no flaws. The only people who would object to it are those who want to one day see America's children killed. If you support America and children, then you should be for murdering Arab kids. Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is trying to write extreme opinions to generate controversy to promote his new book "The Chronicles of Dubya Volume 1: The Defeat of Saddam" and the second edition of "Michael Moore Is Fat: The Proof of His Obesity" which includes even more shocking new evidence of Moore's corpulence! You forgot the main title, "A Modest Proposal" #1 - Posted by: IllTemperedCur on November 28, 2006 02:18 PMI'm pretty disappointed in you FrankJ, why would you want to condemn our children to a life where they don't get to kill terrorists? Who then are they going to kill? Us, that's who. #2 - Posted by: Veeshir on November 28, 2006 02:29 PMVeeshir, I condemn you late-term-Arab-abortionist-monger! #4 - Posted by: Wild Bill on November 28, 2006 02:46 PMI applaud you late-term-Arab-abortionist-monger! The only thing we need to define is when do they stop being kids and become adults? I say 30 years old. This may seem a tad bit old for some, but then again, do nutjobs every really grow up? The terrorist behavior is childish at best. It's the old "I get my way or I'm taking my ball and going home" attitude. Except that "...I'm taking my ball and going home" is replaced with "...I'm getting a bomb and blowing you up, you infidel!" #5 - Posted by: Gun Toting Whacko on November 28, 2006 02:58 PMThis was a complete laugh riot to me. I just got off the floor rolling my natural black ass off! Keep it up! #6 - Posted by: D S Dunlap on November 28, 2006 02:59 PMFinally some logic to the whole mess! Another possible less obvious tactic might be to encourage a take-over by the Democratic Party led by Hillary , Janet Reno and the NOW Hags. They would then immediately open apportion clinics on all Arab street corners and the killing would commence. We could stand back and comment about the evils of abortion in the Arab world…but we won’t do anything about it because they are future terrorists being aborted which is all part of the master plan! Welcome back, Frank! Killing old people is no fun That just reinforces my point. Don't you want your children to have fun? #8 - Posted by: Veeshir on November 28, 2006 03:08 PMThe comments link for this post: http://www.imao.us/archives/006856.html/#comments goes to a blank page. Frank -- i think the easiest solution for you to avoid living in a world where terrorists kill your children is just to kill yourself. this plan has the added bonus of sparing the world the embarassment of your existence. #10 - Posted by: laff riot on November 28, 2006 04:15 PM"Laff riot", you're so typical of the idiot leftard troll, projecting your self-loathing onto others. I think this might be grand good fun for Moonbunny, who's had enough practicing with killing her little sister and needs to move the bloody mess out of the house. The bonus to your plan is that these children will be spared growing up under the regime of their islamofacist parents. #11 - Posted by: shimauma on November 28, 2006 04:23 PMFrank, When you get around to killing trolls who don't get satire, can I get the assignment to get laff riot? Please? Pick me Pick me. #12 - Posted by: Brian the Adequate on November 28, 2006 04:27 PMFrank, I sure hope "Laff Riot", an ironic user name, I'm guessing, has given you pause to re-evaluate your hateful, monkey-face punching, Arab kid killing ways. I gotta ask this though, does your plan to kill Arab children include the "French youths" who are constantly burning cars and stuff, and how are they different than other French people? #13 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on November 28, 2006 04:29 PMI grew up playing with toy guns. Do Arab kids play with toy suicide bombs? #14 - Posted by: Pete on November 28, 2006 04:46 PMyeah, i get that he is trying to create "satire". one problem is, satire should be funny. another is that in the swiftian mode which frank is (doubtless unconsciously) attempting here, satire usually expresses the opposite of what the author really believes, usually using irony and sarcasm. of course ultimately humor is better experienced than explained. too bad none of will be experienced around here anytime soon. now i must retire, as i am very afraid of that adequate person. protect me, fellow moontrolls and leftards! *sniff*. #15 - Posted by: laff riot on November 28, 2006 05:04 PMMy gun barrels are clean. The ammo plentiful. The knives are sharp. When do we begin? BWAH HA HA HA!!! #16 - Posted by: vilmar on November 28, 2006 05:08 PMone last thing before i leave: how did you get those nazi twin girls to pose for your t-shirt pictures? ta ta, ladies. #17 - Posted by: laff riot on November 28, 2006 05:10 PMOh no you DIDN'T! Frank J. gets to take laff riot out personally now. Insulting a man's wife is just wrong - especially when that wife is a very accurate shot. #18 - Posted by: SilverBubble on November 28, 2006 05:34 PMWOW! FRANK!!! this is your wife?! http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/model-nuke.jpg i am impressed!!!1!1! you've got two cutie wives, and i'll wager neither of them has seen 16 years yet!1!! is that legal in your state???? can you confirm that they are the same girls as these???? http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1231684&page=1 if so.... SUPER HOTTT!! and if i could spell "hottt" with a K instead of a T that would be even more appropriate! darn english language!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!1! #19 - Posted by: laff riot on November 28, 2006 05:51 PMlaff riot, I thought you'd left. #20 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on November 28, 2006 06:12 PMlaff riot...your boyfriend called and he's been invited to a party with Barney and the boys. He said something about needing some "stiff backing" or something like that... #21 - Posted by: laff riot on November 28, 2006 06:21 PMWow laff 'roid you have done something I thought was impossible. You made me think fondly of the Monkey Faced Liberal era. Silverbubble - I think that the 'riod has more to fear from sarahK than he does from FrankJ. That is of course just a conjecture, but she has always struck me as the kind to do her own killin' and not hide behind her man. #22 - Posted by: Brian the Adequate on November 28, 2006 07:07 PMI'm OUTRAGED at this post!!!] OUTRAGED!!!!!1!!!! [so when do I get my big kickbak?] #23 - Posted by: N. O'Brain on November 28, 2006 07:48 PMSilverBubble, Nah, I think Sarah should be able to demonstrate her prowess with her Katana to Laff Riot. Wow, we haven't had a frothing mouth troll here for a while! LR, why don't you invite some of your KKKos kid friends? Outside of the elected demoncrats, we haven't had many examples of what drugs do to one's brain. If you happen to think the Middle East thinks of you differently, how about taking a trip to Iran and walk downtown wearing a shirt that says, "I Live in America and Vote Democrat"...I don't think it will have any effect on the Islamofasists making you 12" shorter. #24 - Posted by: Wolfman Dan on November 28, 2006 08:08 PMActually, Frank may be onto something: http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/006460.php #25 - Posted by: Harvey on November 28, 2006 08:27 PM....Damn. and here I thought that libs at least had the decency not to insult someone's family completely unprovoked. That's so low-class I just can't even express it. #26 - Posted by: Tristan on November 28, 2006 11:22 PMI thought that if we let the lefties have the house and senate they would be satisfied and leave us alone. But just like the terrorists, they are now emboldened and have come to our peaceful shores of IMAO to threaten us where we live. The horror... the horror... #27 - Posted by: Pete on November 29, 2006 12:16 AMlaff riot, I thought you'd left.
When a somebody says "I'll end with this...", "now I will retire...", "this is my last post"... It's **never** their last post.
See-you no doubt have a wife/girlfriend, a decent job, and stuff to do with your time. It's hard to get in the mind of somebody who doesn't. For you, you'll have to deal with "should I have sex tonight...or find a random leftwing website to post comments on," "should I get this report finished and not get fired?...or find a liberal blogger and let that blogger know I don't like him." For a leftwing troll who actually 1.) searches out IMAO 2.) reads it even though he hates it 3.) takes time to post in its comments section, these questions are as foreign as the shores of New Guinea. Monkey Faced Liberal regularly posted in the middle of the day on weekdays...in the comments section of a blog he disliked...to express his disgust with its politics. I find it hard enough to justify surfing the internet to read the 3 rightwing websites I'll go through, but to travel to a humor blog and spend time during the day trying your best to make sure the guy there knows you don't like him is just . . . sad. Of course, then again I have a job and a life so maybe this is actually a good use of other people's time... #28 - Posted by: WAL on November 29, 2006 01:59 AMNot your best work here Frank. Too close to the creepy Nazi propaganda I've seen to be very funny. #29 - Posted by: the Brain on November 29, 2006 09:04 AMTypical of Lefties. Geez, Frank. Great post. Don't tell the ACLU. They'll claim you are suffocating the American kids right to a free fire party and that it will damage their self worth. BTW, is lint in my navel something I should worry about? #31 - Posted by: madconductor on November 29, 2006 02:14 PMPete says, I grew up playing with toy guns. Do Arab kids play with toy suicide bombs? Yes they do. Although, sometimes they aren't toys. BTW, is lint in my navel something I should worry about? It just means you're getting fat. That's how I gauge it, if there's no lint, I've lost enough weight. #33 - Posted by: Veeshir on November 29, 2006 03:54 PMPost a comment
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Stumble It!
An Editorial by Frank J."